HUGE arguement with DH. Birthday tomorrow . WDYD?

[ImNotReallyHere]

Exactly that. Married 25 years. Had a huge arguement tonight as he moaned about lights being left on and it escalated. I said in anger that he can not expect a birthday celebration tomorrow. He said fine.
I’m now not sure what to do?

I have bought present and food. Would usually leave a present out for him in the morning when he wakes up but really don’t want to

Depends how petty you want to be about it. If you want the argument to continue then don’t give it to him.

Or you can get up in the morning and continue as originally planned.

Do you usually get on? Is a nice bloke and decent husband? Does he spoil you on your birthday?
If yes send him a silly text, make friends and get him breakfast in bed. However, if he is a miserable bastard who does naff all for your birthday do nothing.

Did he say sorry? Or?

Strange thing for you to say. Why did you do that?
If you love him and there’s nothing sinister about him and your relationship, then of course you should celebrate his birthday.

I would swallow my words, apologise and celebrate his birthday. 25 years married, and it was about lights being left on? If it's really an issue I'm sure it'll come up again and you can hash it out then. Skipping his birthday because you say something in anger would be really sad.

We could really do with more details before advising you what to do tomorrow?

If everything is otherwise ok and this was a silly argument that got out of hand due to....maybe a long day at work, tiredness, other issues.....dont be petty. Leave the present.

If it is a toxic or abusive relationship and you feel belittled or unseen....leave the present and then leave the man, dont poke the bear and make it worse.

If you are one of natures sulkers/punishers when you dont "win", he should leave you.

Only you know which one this is and if the answer to all three is "No", then you are number three.

I'd go ahead with the birthday celebration as planned. The reason is, if it was me, I know I'd feel much worse later on, if I didn't.

If your arguments often get that out of control, I'd suggest marriage counseling or at least looking up "the rules of fair fighting." Good luck!

This dilemma has been completely solved by @PyongyangKipperbang . Good luck. I hope you're in category 1, just because this one gives you a nicer life than either of the others.

Sometimes it's better to be kind than right. But not if you are being systematically shat on.

Do you normally threaten to spoil things or withhold things as part of arguing? It’s very toxic behaviour.

Presumably there’s a back story?

Depends on what was said, how bad it got. You don't need to share that but depends on whether you both said what you didn't mean in the heat of the moment.
If it wasn't that bad then I'd just forget it and carry on as planned.
It most likely wasn't just about the lights being left on. It never is. Probably an accumulation of other issues? You're awake worrying about it so hope you get some sleep. I hate going to bed on an argument.