Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Do you tell your children about reckless things you did in your youth?

47 replies

scalt · 13/10/2026 17:49

My dad told me how he smoked a lot when he was a teenager at school, while cautioning me not to do the same. He also told me how he used to frighten his parents by climbing on roofs, and so on. (I think he only told me the ones he thought I wouldn’t try myself.)

My mum also told me about serious disagreements she had with her parents, but not until long after they were dead, and I was about thirty.

OP posts:
Somanyhotdrinks · 13/10/2026 17:51

I do definitely, generally when we are on holiday, in the evening, playing cards and chatting.

FeelingALittleWoozyHere · 13/10/2026 17:53

My teenage years were like something out of Skins. Drinking, drugs, sex, attending parties in abandoned houses, setting fire to things in the park, getting into fights with other groups. Several friends were pregnant at 13. Some of the boys I knew went to prison for GBH and worse. It was ROUGH. Like hell will I tell my kids any of it 😅

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 13/10/2026 17:54

Some bits I tell dd some bits are omitted 🙈😂

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Error404FucksNotFound · 13/10/2026 17:54

Not a chance in hell will I ever tell my sons the shit I used to get up to.
They'd be scarred for life 😁

Chapti · 13/10/2026 17:56

No.

I think there's a danger that anything your parents did tends to become your "baseline," in terms of safety. After all, your parents are boring, by definition. It's fine to do whatever they did, and then add some more stuff so that you feel you're pushing the envelope/rebelling in adolescence.

So I'm keeping quiet about stuff until they're at least 25, personally. It's hard, because I do believe in being honest with your kids, but if they ask me (for example) whether I've done any drugs then I will absolutely lie and say I haven't. They need to feel like some stuff is over the line. Obviously they'll probably do things that are over the line. But at least the line isn't too far out there.

Longtermmuser · 13/10/2026 17:56

Yes and I had a wild youth. Mine are in disbelief when I tell them. I left home at 16, they can't get over that.
I'm still finding out about stuff my dad got up to and he is 80!

Womanontop · 13/10/2026 17:57

Good lord no, maybe when they're 30 plus.

Busybookworm · 13/10/2026 17:58

I was so desperately square (still am tbh) that nobody would be interested…

QueenStevie · 13/10/2026 17:58

Yes. There is only one thing I won't tell her but she knows most things and some things have stayed with her and served as a cautionary tale.

SirChenjins · 13/10/2026 18:01

They know some of the things but not all of them - for reckless read fucking dangerous on some occasions, and they really don't need to hear about that.

scalt · 13/10/2026 20:23

Related to this, my dad recently admitted that when we stayed in a holiday cottage when I was eight or nine, there was deadly nightshade growing in the garden; but he decided not to warn me about it, because he thought that might tempt me to eat it. (He did warn me about many other mortal dangers, though.)

OP posts:
DogAnxiety · 13/10/2026 20:35

I’ve told my kids about all my misadventures.

My rationale was, my parents told me nothing of what they had got up to and still I behaved very recklessly.
i had zero frame of reference for addiction, drug experimentation, alcohol excess.
I was particularly clear with my kids about hallucinogens and what happened to me when i took them. They really frightened me and if I can save my kids from them, then all the better,
I have discussed weed at length, they know I only did it for 3-4 years and didn’t carry it on into proper adulthood, and the reasons why. if they try drugs it probably won’t be the end of the world, and I think being secretive and shameful is probably worse than fessing up, nothing so unsexy as “rebelling” in exactly rhe same way as your parents did, 35+ years ago 😂

Owhatfuckeryisthis · 13/10/2026 20:55

We've told them some things (at age appropriate times) and really we werent "that" wild. But some of the things we did are often greeted by "muuuuum!"(or Daaaad!) particularly by DD. I do wonder how we raised such a puritan!😆

MummyOre · 13/10/2026 20:58

I was a teenage mum so my mischievousness is very obvious!

DaisyDukesAuntie · 13/10/2026 20:59

edited highlights 🤣

caringcarer · 13/10/2026 21:01

Noooooo.

Brightbluesomething · 13/10/2026 21:03

Not what I got up to, I’m not going into that. But I’ve told them what their dad and his brother got up to, in front of him and his mum (who knew already) as a lot of it was hilarious.
Neither of my DC’s could get away with that nowadays and tbf neither are stupid enough to try. They’re just funny family anecdotes

bowchicawowwow · 13/10/2026 21:08

Some of the stuff I did as a teen I feel sick thinking about now. I don’t want them knowing stuff and looking at me, thinking well mum did xyz and turned out ok, because for some of my friends that didn’t quite work out.

Fieldday26 · 13/10/2026 21:20

Edited versions at appropriate times. I try and judge a level of, we’ve been there and done that, don’t try and pull the wool over my eyes and also not encouraging them to copy / try some of the more reckless stuff.

cupfinalchaos · 13/10/2026 21:24

My dd begged me to smoke a joint with her in her late teens. No way was I falling for that one!

Rocknrollstar · 13/10/2026 21:28

I told my DC stories about when I was a teenager and they said I was wild. I should add that I never missed school and got good grades at O level and A level. Fortunately they were much quieter and better behaved in their teenage years including never smoking and never trying drugs.

cartagenagina · 13/10/2026 21:30

Yes but they’re mid twenties and find it all hilarious.

Torchout · 13/10/2026 21:35

My daughter knows what I got up to. Mind you it wasn't much

Cat GIF
BirdLandedonmyHead · 13/10/2026 21:37

I dont think ill tell mine about our relationship starting as a one night stand at 19straight into living together...
Not something i want them to follow, even if weve been happy for 20+ years now!

wafflesmgee · 13/10/2026 21:40

A very edited version and usually “when my close friends did xyz” rather than me, firstly because I assume they don’t want to hear it about me and secondly I don’t want to run the risk of glamourising or normalising my rebellious youth. I also don’t want it to impact their relationships with my parents, as my mum and dad were in all honesty pretty negligent about keeping tabs on me from age 13-18, and I’m not ready to have those conversations with my kids or my parents.
I think I’ll do full disclosure when supporting my own children through being parents to teenagers themselves.
i also don’t want to scare my children too much…