Too scared to eat, but health declining

[Anonymousemouses]

I had anorexia as a teenager.

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I again had problems in my mid 20s and a young mum, not full blown anorexia, but rejected all fats and ate a very restricted diet, I also had bulimia.

I recovered properly by my late 20s and stayed slim for years - mainly by eating low fat and avoiding chocolate/cake/crisps/high-fat cheese, etc.

I had problems again in 2012.

I then put on an enormous amount of weight after my ankle got bad in 2019. I ate more comfort food, lots of chocolate and couldn't move.

My weight crept up to over 16st last December. My HbA1c came in at 42, so I went keto.

I lost a lot of weight but have felt 'fine'. My eating has become very restricted. I eat only gouda/edam/mozzarella slices in the day, and a few nuts (strictly moderated). I have either a little iceberg lettuce and three slices of cucumber with a couple of slices of cheese or cottage cheese. Once or twice a week I have two boiled eggs, once a month maybe fish. If out of cucumber I eat half a courgette with cheese, or a tiny bit of cauliflower. I do not drink cows milk in tea, I have no sugar/carb almond milk to reduce carbs. I make sure never to finish my lettuce so I don't have too many carbs.

I had an NHS health check today. I was shocked to find out I had lost another 10% of my body weight since August. I wear 8st 4lb.

When I was over 16st in December my total cholesterol was 5,2, today - with a finger-prick test, it was 9,2.

I have always had low BP - even in April it was low - today it was 140/104 then 139/98.

I don't understand - I walk more (difficult as I have a malunion and fusion and ongoing problems), but I never walked in December. I have lost a substantial amount of weight - I'm guessing the cheese isn't great, but to have lost so much weight, do more walking and be more UNFIT seems ridiculous.

I am scared, but I CANNOT change, I am scared of losing control, I feel like I don't trust foods that aren't safe, but am terrified by the sky high BP and cholesterol.

I do not drink or smoke and I am 56.

I have a GP appointment tomorrow, but fear he will say to just eat a healthy diet, but I have a psychological block now.

https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/get-help-for-myself/support-now/

Take action as soon as you can. Call them today please 0808 801 0677

Good luck mate. xx

You’re not eating enough

you need to be honest with the doctor about what you do eat. Ask for help from the dietitian a psychiatrist. It’s a mental block about control but you have to be open to help.

Please contact Beat x

Sorry to hear this. I would ask your GP for a referral to an eating disorder specialist and make clear to them that the issue is not that you don't know what to eat but rather severely disordered eating and fear around food. Maybe write down what you are eating and make very clear that this is the total you consume.

Your results for BP and cholesterol are not surprising given what you are eating and the strain your body is under, but I would focus on getting professional support for your eating and mental health rather than focusing on the tests. The numbers will sort themselves out when you are on more of an even keel.

Thank you all, I will contact Beat