This is really petty, isn’t it? DS friend’s mum asking for favours

[IamNatashaSparaks]

DS friend’s mum is always messaging me asking for favours - lifts (she doesn’t drive), trips to the supermarket, having her DS round for dinner, feeding guinea pigs if they go away.

I’ve noticed that she often doesn’t say ‘please’ when asking. So now, even if it’s something that doesn’t put me out (for example, if I was going to the shop anyway) if she doesn’t say please then I’ll reply saying I can’t.

It feels super petty to do this, I’m actually a pretty nice person but good manners cost nothing!

No one can say please 100% of the time but it has to be high 90s surely. My kids might have had their moments but they had manners.

My mum does this - it’s always ‘I need you to do X for me’ or ‘Handbag can do that.’
Drives me mad and I’ve started correcting her every time. It’s annoying her as she thinks I’m being petty but I don’t care.

For an acquaintance I’d just do as you’re doing and say no.

If she is asking for favours this much, I’d be saying no to all of them regardless.

Of course you can say please 100% of the time

I hope you’re saying ‘No I can’t’ not ‘I’m sorry, I can’t’ 😂

I don’t always say sorry when I say no - because I’m not!

I do feel a bit mean, as she’s a single parent and I don’t think she has much of a support network. However, she’s not someone I’d choose to spend time with; she’s incredibly negative and judgemental and very self-centred - always talking about herself, never asking me about me.

Well just say no then. If she's incredibly impolite etc, what's stopping you?

Just say no if you don't want to help.

If she’s using you as her personal taxi then she needs to know you’re only available at your timings - she’s being a CF … you lose her but then if you do then it’s just because she’s using you!

@IamNatashaSparaks I actually enjoy helping out when I can but not to proven CF without manners. YANBU