Is this normal ?

[AlertBlueDreamer]

Hi all
thank you for taking the time to read

I’m a 44 year old single mum , one lovely girl aged 16 just finishing up school and such a treasure

I have raised her alone with my wonderful Mum and sister helping me where possible

life has been very very hard financially as it is for a single parent nowadays , I’ve always worked and due to our location and school time restrictions could not work past school finish time so income hasn’t allowed me to have very much disposable income at all

I’ve worked really hard to secure a lovely home , decorate and upgrade it myself and have a secure and wonderful landlord with really good rent price monthly

always prioritised the right things, fridge full of food etc and car insurance paid etc to enable to get to work and such

this past month I have found a job of fantastic wages and obviously done my budget and living expenses correctly

for the first time in over ten years I’m going to have disposable income that can be split into savings, Xmas and birthdays , holiday savings , and it is secure reliable employment the kind I have been desperately trying to find and make work for years I have sat and job searched , applied. Attended interview after interview , job searched some more , day and night on any break times and as soon as I can sit down on an evening . Finally it’s paid off when I had almost accepted this was going to be my operating mode for life .

This may seem really silly to some but I keep having anxiety attacks and the usual intrusive worry thoughts about the end of the month budget and forward planning budget anxiety and other things that swamp the mind of a single parent . Then I remind myself I don’t need to have these thoughts anymore and it’s almost like my brain can’t cope with zero need to worry anymore it feels so very strange and like that’s another persona situation and not mine

I know I don’t need to have these thoughts anymore , I’m not going to have those worries from the end of this month , I don’t know why this happens . Will it stop ? Am I just so used to being in survival and money strain mode that my brain doesn’t know what to do without those intrusive thoughts and worries needing to be there anymore

it’s a very difficult for me to grasp I don’t have to worry all the time anymore and that life will be easier now and that I can actually enjoy life and be able to say yes to things I previously couldn’t

is it just anxiety and my brain readjusting or is there something wrong with me ?

sorry if it sounds ridiculous I’d just love to hear from anyone who’s experienced similar

thank you

Just a change of circumstances which will lead to life being less stressful so once it’s all settled, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Probably nerves in case something goes wrong. Good luck!

yes that’s normal op.

adjustment to good things takes time just as adjustment to bad things does .

just thank your brain for trying to keep you safe with the thoughts but tell it you don’t need those thoughts at the moment and move on.

well done op on working so hard- it’s annoying when anxiety gets in the way of hard won peace and you have to work to enjoy it

We had a really tough time bringing up our children and what we remember most was when our old car went wrong and we had to leave it on the pavement and wait a month until we could afford to repair it. Both DH and I still get a sick feeling when we hear a noise in our car, even though we can now afford the repairs. You will gradually relax and learn to enjoy your new found financial situation. Well done for getting this far.

Thank you so much everyone

I don’t know life without survival mode really and feeling mentally exhausted with everything on my shoulders

i think it’s just going to take me some time to heal from the boat load of somehow having to make things work and make ends meet every week and not needing to think on the same wavelength or ways anymore

my body and brain are not used to having nothing to worry about and not used to the feeling that I can afford things without juggling something else now etc

I think it will take me a bit of time that’s all to get used to that . when you have had to be in survival and fight or flight mode all the time your body just needs to let go of that doesn’t it

Ive been crying a lot because I never thought I’d be able to have that feeling in life
I know I can always even further provide for my daughter now and she can just enjoy life even more and have wonderful experiences with her and able to afford future driving lessons and all those things I was so so petrified about affording

thankyou so much ladies for reassuring me it’s not weird to feel like this

xx

It's a totally different thing, but I left a job I hated four months ago, I was there ten years. It took me 2-3 months before I could relax, ie not wake up early worrying about work even though I didn't need to go in sny more. Also, I used to dread the thought of going in on my days off, and I still found myself having those feelings even though I'd left. I still think about how it made ne feel, but it has nowhere near the impact it had.

Congratulations on your new job
Hopefully once you've started it, you'll find yourself being able to relax more and enjoy life.