How do you switch off from work

[Blushingm]

I’m really struggling - I ruminate constantly. I can’t remember the last time I slept past 3am. I wake up with my heart racing thinking about work. I’m exhausted. I can’t get back to sleep

I listen to a boring podcast, I like Boring History for Sleep.

Me too. I feel anxious and don't enjoy work at all, but can't afford to retrain. It's like I am doing overtime with the amount of time I spend thinking about work. I wish I could quit!

Not just me then?

I can’t afford to do anything else as I do t think it would pay as well

Honestly I felt like this and went to the gp. Now have a low level medication for anxiety and I consciously log off and switch off from work. I find a walk helps. I delete social media during the week to stop doom scrolling and have been devouring cosy crime fiction.

How old are you? I’ve noticed that certain times of the month my anxiety is much more difficult to manage. I’m 43 so I’m wondering whether menopause is starting to impact me given my anxiety seems to be cyclical.

But you have my sympathies - I can’t remember the last time I had an unbroken nights sleep and I wake up in a similar state to you with my heart racing and my brain hunting for whatever the trigger was, and of course it inevitably finds something.

I use the Calm app to get me back to sleep in the night - Eric Lopez is a favourite - but if I’m wide awake I’ll get up and have a cup of tea. That seems to reset me out of that awful middle of the night rumination.

I’m 48. I’ve always been a bit like this

I was promoted in work in March and have no full time deputy and for the last 2 months this has just got worse

I have a commute and on the way home I put on an audio book to help me tune out. Once home I spend about an hour decompressing. I refuse to answer texts/read emails etc on my days off. I used to struggle with sleep and still occasionally do so I put on a podcast or take melatonin, just something to help focus my brain on. I used to be terrible at switching off but since I’ve been more self disciplined about where work ends in my mind it’s become easier.

Audiobooks, music in my ear holes, celebrity traitors…obviously. Slow horses.. obviously… gogglebox… obviously.. re watch GOT and killing Eve, just dead dead good telly.

Insta scroll, and absolutely do not open my laptop after 5pm or at weekends.

But! I’ve changed jabs from 100 mph horrifically horrendous highly stressful & distressing job to a nice calm sweet job in recent years.
Night & day. I’m very lucky I know.

I agree with an audiobook on my commute home - it gives me something else to focus on.

I am very strict with myself about not looking at my emails when I'm not at work. I'm not being paid for evenings and weekends so I'm not spending my free time working.

When I come home I immediately have a shower and get into comfy clothes. That seems to help mark a differentiation between work time and home time.

If I find myself thinking about work I usually treat it like an intrusive thought, shout intrusive thought to myself in my head and force my mind elsewhere. After doing that repeatedly it has become easier.

If I can't sleep at night I listen to the Sleepy History podcast. It usually does send me back to sleep but even if it doesn't I'm at least listening to something calm and educational rather than ruminating.

At the end of the day worrying about work wasn't making my actual work any better. It didn't get me a pay rise, or a promotion.....it just affected my home life.

Cooking dinner when I come home. It actually relaxes me.

Reading instead of TV if I don't spend time with DH and definitely for nearly an hour in bed before light out

How to you consciously log off - I keep trying but the churning stomach won’t go away

I have a young child who takes up all my attention and I need to shh him to slwep
in the dark for ages I’ve forgotten about work by the time he’s asleep usually!

Have you tried breathing exercises when you wake in the night? I find those quite helpful and focusing on relaxing each muscle/body part.
More importantly in the day you need to make sure you have someone to talk to about work stuff - colleague or supportive manager and something that helps with stress like exercise.
What job do you do?

Learn to meditate through guided meditation app
Stop overthinking everything - meditating will help with this.

Sadly at the moment I am relying on to many gin and tonics to switch my mind off. I also rarely sleep past 3am and my alarm is set for half 4. Very depressing. I also solve work problems in my sleep and if I'm not doing that, the kids in my school form part of my bad dreams. It's really not healthy.
I know exercise is a better alternative but I'm working intense 11 hour days 5 days a week and shattered.

Long term this is not the solution but maybe will work in the short-term. When I woke at 3am worrying about work I would make a fist with my right hand and mentally sent my worries and street to my hand and then unclutch my hand and release my worries away from me. I never opened my eyes. I then would pretend I was a character in a tv show and pretend I was taking part in a scene. I would doze off and eventually fall asleep.

Long-term, I changed jobs and industries. It felt beyond impossible at the time but it was the best thing I ever did

I really like that podcast and there’s so many of them that you can pick and choose to one that takes your fancy but is still a bit boring.

in our time on bbc sounds is the same as there’s so many episode.

Waldy & Bendy art podcast too. As I’m interested but it’s a bit dull too.

something rhymes with purple sends me off too

im a district nursing sister