Working patterns after maternity leave

[InSearchOfSleep]

I am just about to return to work from maternity leave. I have a 3 year old and 1 year old. I need to confirm my working hours/pattern as soon as possible and really cannot work out which option is best:

• Option 1: return 3 days, husband does 4 days. Nursery 2 long days (8-5).
• Option 2: return 4 days, husband 4 days, nursery 3 long days (8-5).
• Option 3: return 3.5 days, husband 4 days, nursery 3 shorter days (8-3.30ish).

I feel so conflicted as I want to spend as much time with my children as possible but find their current ages incredibly exhausting and most days seem to be spent either breaking up fights, battling meltdowns or stopping my youngest climbing the walls (literally).

I am worried that 2 days of seriously intense childcare plus a very full on 3 day job might be too much. Option 3 would give me a lot more breathing space but I really don’t want to regret my decision to put them in nursery for another day.

Financially there isn’t much in it which makes it much harder to decide.

Please help! Any suggestions or things that worked well for you would be so helpful to hear right now.

I do three days and although I love being at work for the peace I don’t think I would be able to manage my household well doing more (although I don’t have a partner)! Another downside to doing nursery more days is they are often grumpy on collection as they are tired. And they are well behaved all day and then they have a tantrum when they get home! But it sounds as though you are more keen on the 3.5, that sounds like a reasonable balance.

Double check that nursery will take DC for just 2 days. Mine wouldn't.

I would return 3.5 but keep DC in nursery for three full days. It means you are not rushing round for an early pickup, you have an afternoon for selfcare appointments or doing house chores.
It also means when the older one starts school you can be there for pickup and some one-on-one time before you collect the youngest one.

What do you mean ‘husband 4 days’ in all the options?

3.5 days with 3 full days in nursery you can always collect on the early side.

I would take the longer days at nursery. Don’t do a 3:30pm pick up. Afternoons can be long! Wait till they are school age and you have to run home from work and fill that time every afternoon when they’re tired and overwhelmed.

It sounds like your husband will be doing 1 day of childcare and then you are doing the others. If you can, I’d gladly built in extra nursery time so you can get things done around the house. If the cost is roughly the same. They are with your husband 1 day, you work 3 days and they are in nursery 3 days (1 of those being your day off), they still get the majority of their week (4 full days home with a parent). That’s great.

I think talking to your employer about what they would approve is the best starting point - no point deciding to return 3 days per week then your employer rejects it.

But other than that I wouldn’t worry too much about the long days. What childcare did/do you use for the 3 year old?

Thanks all! Some useful suggestions 😊