Question About Laughing vs Smiling?

[Ursula14]

I don’t know if this an Autistic trait or not, and I’m asking in general so this isn’t about mental health, but, something I’ve long wondered is how you’re supposed to behave in social situations when it comes to smiling/laughing.

By this I mean, if someone says something genuinely funny, I will laugh and that will lead to me visibly looking like I’m laughing and make laughter sounds.

However, when it comes to generic conversations and small talk when something that someone says isn’t inherently funny that it would make you laugh out loud, but you feel like you have to indicate you found what they said amusing to prevent awkwardness, what do you do?

For instance, I saw a recent podcast where towards the end to make the ending more light-hearted, the interviewer said to the interviewee, “thank you for being a rare guest who came on set early!”

Now, that isn’t something that would make me laugh out loud because it isn’t particularly funny it’s more like a light-hearted comment, however, it has the implication that the interviewer wants you to react in a way that makes you understand they were trying to joke. But the interviewee in this podcast was laughing out loud at that and audibly making a sound. I would probably just smile and nod.

This is because I find the forced laughter part so fake and awkward.

But, I wonder: is smiling and not laughing loudly in such scenarios viewed by people as weird?

And, is this related to autism?

Good question. I rarely laugh out loud unless something is really funny. I tend smile in a moderately amused way but have often wondered why I don’t really have a proper laugh. Always a bit jealous of people who can laugh out loud a lot.

I have no diagnosis but have ND traits and there are a lot of autistic people (diagnosed) in my family.

I think I’m like you, in that it takes alot to make me laugh out loud. Sometimes I see stand-up comedy on tv, and there’s shots of the audience cracking up with laughter, and I may raise a slight smile at most. I get that not all comedy is my type of comedy, but it happens more often than not. I just don’t seem to react the same.

I'm Autistic OP. I got a late life unofficial diagnosis.
I can laugh spontaneously. I actually laugh quite a lot. But smiling is a minefield for me. Despite trying to teach myself things like smiling when greeting someone, or the responsive smile when someone smiles at me, I really feel I don't smile appropriately. And generally I am extremely self conscious about smiling and feel I smile at people when I shouldn't and don't smile when I should.
So I'm afraid I don't think. I can answer your question.

Interesting question. I think there is a genuine belly laugh (when something is hilarious) and a social laugh when you are joking along in a conversational way like the podcast you mention. It's not fake, but it's definitely different to finding things funny.

I think your interpretation of appropriate behaviour is probably correct but sometimes people laugh for other reasons. Sometimes from awkwardness or from relief. Or alcohol. And sometimes laughter can become contagious (such as at a comedy club). If it sounds like a joke but it’s not funny, a small smile is fine to avoid alienating the person who’s trying to be funny.

A smile or nod can be a perfectly natural response to light-hearted comments; not everyone expresses amusement through audible laughter. Autism may influence how social cues are interpreted or expressed, but this varies greatly from person to person.