DD 11 said she wanted me to get a boyfriend so she had a dad

[Cantbelieveshesaidthat123]

Ive been single for around 9 years, fled DV when my children were 8 months old and 2.6 years old. It's just us, we dont see much of family as there isn't much of a family. So its just always been us 3

Last night DD was asking if she would ever have a dad ( shes 11 but autistic)

I was honest and said no. Explained that I didnt feel comfortable bringing a man into their lives and that if I ever was to get a partner, it would be when they were grown up.

DD got upset and said that she'd of wanted a dad really, id said that even if I did get a boyfriend, he would never be her dad ( I know it sounds like i was being blunt but you have to be straight to the point with DD )

I just feel sad for them both. I know they both wished they had a dad.

Ive stayed single all these years because I could never trust myself to meet someone decent, id not want to risk my DD or my DD getting hurt.

Im just really sad for them today. My biggest regret has been having children with the wrong man.

I just feel really sad for them both today. I know I made the right decision staying single and I know ive kept them safe all these years, im just sad that their sad about it. My DD has frequently said over the years he wished he had a dad. It's heartbreaking

Don’t be tempted Op
single is best with kids these ages

FFS, she says 9 years in her first sentence!!

Sorry, quoted wrong post - that was to the first reply.

Immediately edited
calm down

Which has weirdly disappeared!

Are you at least getting CMS from the vile ex?

She changed it…

OP your daughter doesn’t understand adult reality but you have done the right thing for your children, hopefully they’ll appreciate it when they’re older

It's just the typical kind of things that kids say. I would have loved to have had a sister but didn't. I do have female cousins that I close to, though.

You have made the right decision and ultimately, they will grow up to know it.

In the meantime, hopefully there are good men around them (teachers, leaders, coaches etc.) who can be good male role models.

I bet it was at bedtime. My kids always made comments like this just as I was saying good night, as they had the intention of me delaying turning the light out!

Please don’t use this comment as a reason to sign up to Bumble @Cantbelieveshesaidthat123 !!

She absolutely won’t be the only child in her class not to have a father in her life and many of her friends will have divorced parents and they see their father irregularly.

Did you have your father in your life as a positive influence @Cantbelieveshesaidthat123 ?