Heartbroken

[Sam19831]

Husband suffering from depression, agrees he's suffering and happy to get help. But says he can't explain why, how or what happened but he has lost a bit of love for me. Been together 15 years and have kids. I've been so supportive and he says I've done nothing wrong and he hates himself for it.
Honestly I'm heartbroken I don't have any family and his have been so supportive of me and my husband but how do I process he doesn't love me the same how do I stop crying and wait for him to get better. Will he love me the same again

Hello
Sending you strength and hugs. I am sure he loves you just the same but the depression is distorting things at the moment. I suffer from depression and I know that when it's bad I tend to shut off emotionally and am incapable of feeling the way I do normally. When he gets help I promise it will get easier. I know it's scary to take that first step but he will feel better in time! You sound lovely and so supportive

It might just be the depression and a feeling of flatness. Just evaluate again once he seems better. I'm assuming he's been to his GP and is taking anti depressants? It's difficult being with someone whilst they are depressed. Look after yourself and try not to think about what he's saying presently. You can't know whether its the depression talking and not his usual self as his illness may be why he's said it.

Thank you it's so hard I've never experienced this before and I don't know how to help him and I know it sounds selfish but I keep lingering on that little bit of I don't love you the same. But like you say maybe it is distorted at the moment. I just hope he actually goes and gets the help he says he will. His parents have been great and encouraging him to go.
I can't imagine what he feels especially when he says he has no joy in life. It's so sad I want him to have a brilliant life and it is breaking me he feels he isn't having that.

I'm thankful for your message

No he's not been to a gp and won't take anti depressants. Which I support if that's what he wants he has said he will go talk to someone so I'm hoping he will.
It's a lot to take in and support when I feel like my world just collapsed

If he is happy to get help why won't he go to the GP? Going to the GP doesn't necessarily mean having to take anti depressants.

I don't mean to be sceptical but saying he doesn't love you in the same way whilst claiming to be depressed but not actually seeking medical help sounds possibly as though he is checking out of your marriage and using his mental health as an excuse.
Sorry OP.

I would think it's to do w this depression rather than him losing his love for you. See what he's like when he comes out of it.

He won't go as he's been before a long time ago and had anti depressents a long time ago he didn't like how it all made him feel.
Him checking out is my biggest fear

Hmmmm op - I think me and a lot of other readers may be having our spidey senses alerted by your post.

falling out of love with your partner and telling them is not a symptom of depression. Feeling flat and detached from everything ,feeling no love for everything is - but this is actually different from what you are describing.

maybe im wrong but my divorce journey started with a depressed husband.

you love and care for him but keep your precious energy and the kids first.

if he wants to fix this he would go to a GP and will still care about you as a human being.

watch his behaviour carefully to make sure he isn’t checking out of the marriage/having an affair but too cowardly to say so and generating a story to deflect responsibility. He may not even be conscious that he’s doing it .

keep you and the kids first.