Any other middle aged women lacking the career motivation they once had?

[Verbena91]

I spent the first decade of my career carrying out my passionate vocation helping people and working long hours, was then an entrepreneur, set up my own business and a charity, raised hundreds of thousands for a good cause, mentored younger people and got a phd alongside this work. Not saying this to stealth boast or anything, but to demonstrate the drive and energy I had! At 40 I had my first DC.

I know things change and I’m not expecting my late 40’s self to remain the same as I was. I know all life is full of phases which I witness with my own DC, and I am practising self-acceptance - or attempting to- accepting where I am and being ok with this new phase / stage of like as I know everything is in stages.

BUT… I see colleagues (similar age also mums) achieving continued professional success, accreditations etc. I know mums at the school who are working in City jobs etc. All my age.

At the moment I feel passionate about my causes still, but in an average day my motivation has dissipated by about 2pm. I’m not talking about physical energy (I’m on HRT), but the sort of psychological motivation I used to have.

Again very much not wanting to criticise myself for this, but just noticing so many other women seemingly still firing on all cylinders.

Is anyone else in their 40’s or beyond similar to me in this respect? Does it stay like this or do you get a second wind in your 50’s / once kids are older?

I'm mid to late 50s and I can't exactly pinpoint when all motivation for work disappeared completely but I have the sum total of ZERO now. I still do a really good job because my pride prevents me from doing anything less (and I have decades of experience), but I couldn't give a flying fig about any of it.

I did think that once the DC buggered off to uni I might feel more work orientated again, but that didn't happen and they are both working themselves now, so that moment is definitely long gone. I work because I have to because I haven't yet built up a big enough pension pot. All I want to do is get through each working day with as little aggro and as efficiently as possible. And without wanting to murder exasperating co-workers, suppliers or clients!

Most of my female friends who are still working feel similarly. It is on the frequently discussed list, along with elderly and declining parents!!

That said, I met someone recently on holiday who said they loved their job. They were in their late 60s and still working and it blew me away. It was really lovely and refreshing to hear.

Not sure any of that is remotely helpful @Verbena91 .

I'll be 60 next year and often reading the 'when should I retire?' threads. I am firing on about 3 cylinders at this stage - I was actually thinking of booking some kind of cognitive decline test on my way home from work yesterday as I am so completely unable to remember new people. Then I forgot about it.

Office politics. Zero interest.
Unreasonable clients. Bore off.
Volunteer for extra tasks. (unpaid and unrewarded but make the manager look good). nope.

My colleagues are 10-15 years younger than me and have reams of energy by comparison - 3 of them had dinner in the slow cooker by the time they left for work yesterday morning. I had taken ready made dinners from the freezer and was quite impressed with myself (that I had remembered). I am marching to the beat of a much slower drum.
And I did the extra training, the extra shifts for money, was self employed for decades.

There are a few decades in your life when you have family and work commitments and minimal time for yourself. Now I work part time, do my hobbies, I'm still driving teens and helping with homework. I'm back doing my hobbies and work gets a much smaller % of my energy

Me. I'm only 45 and I've lost any interest in my sense of self or sense of achievement being linked to my career. I had a successful career and took a sideways move to reduce to 3 days per week, initially to study. Now that's done, I haven't increased my hours and don't intend to. I spend my time trying to keep on top of the house, lots of sport and fitness, long weekends away with my DH, and being around for my much older DCs.

I absolutely respect and admire anyone who is ambitious and career-driven; it's just not where I find any sense of satisfaction. In fact sometimes I feel a bit embarrassed by my lack of drive/success. We're not wealthy but we are financially secure and this will improve with each passing year, so I'm very fortunate that money isn't a driving factor and I recognise not everyone has that freedom.

Interesting range of experiences. I wish I could say I’ve swapped my career / work motivation for fitness or sport but I haven’t. I keep active but have not managed to embark on new improved fitness routine which I know I need to at my age. It’s like it’s all so much mental effort !

I think it’s great to get to the point where you realise work isn’t everything. Health, relationships and hobbies.

I’m 43 and have no motivation to progress my career. I worked hard through my 20’s and early 30’s achieving undergrad, masters and doctorate from world class unis. I have a job I love that pays well, is flexible and extremely enjoyable. I get asked if I want to become a director and the answer is NO! I value my work life balance and my mental heath. I don’t need more money.

Oh gosh, I don't think you need to replace work with anything for your choice or feelings to be valid, and I hope my post didn't sound that way! It just happens to be what I did, for a variety of personal reasons, but frankly I'm also happy sitting with a coffee and a book when I'm on my days off, and that feels just as valid.

I’m 43 and am feeling this now. I have young kids and want a better work life balance. My career is taking everything I have.

I stopped giving a shit about work when I got put on a PIP and sacked. I now wonder why I ever cared about other people's companies

I'm mid-thirties and feel like this - it's going to be a long old time until retirement!

It might be the job/company (too many issues to go into) but actually this demotivation and even apathy seems to be very much a thing in my friendship groups at the moment, most of whom are fairly high achieving professionals (architects, civil servants etc). I think it's probably a number of things:

• Cost of living means we all work just as much (or more) with less to show for it
• Increasing levels of busywork and AI nonsense being pushed in the workplace, against a backdrop of a world and climate in crisis - just makes it all seem very pointless
• Realisation that what we were 'supposed' to do with our lives (uni, careers, buying the 'best' house we could) hasn't really fulfilled us, and now being stuck working to service the lifestyle we're not sure we really want

All sounds a bit bleak when I put it like that! In a few years I'd like to try and buy a little cottage somewhere remote without a mortgage and work outside in some guise - fantasy keeps me going during pointless meetings!

I'm 58. I have no desire for career progression up the management ladder, but I have expertise in a particular area and do consultancy work. I love the opportunities that gives me, and am still completely driven by the problem solving aspects of my work.

Did you do a vocational, emotionally intensive role? Compassion fatigue and burnout can hit hard in those sectors. Disillusionment can settle into the bones and what is seen can’t be unseen. That’s my experience anyway and I’m only 38. My three are teenagers now and I did my degree alongside raising them (not a PhD but was hard enough with the kids). I just don’t care very much anymore and I have a long way to go.