Quick handhold please…

[Blindinglybatshit]

Sorry - can I get a mid afternoon handhold?! Just feeling utterly desperate. Dh was made redundant a while ago and hasn’t found anything else. He turned a few things down because they were ‘beneath him’ which infuriates me. I was a sahm but am obv applying for everything I can (whether that’s a junior version of what I used to do or cleaning) but I don’t seem to fit anyone’s criteria. I have a really anxious personality and have been trying to control my rising panic (I don’t really mind losing the house but do seriously mind that a disabled relative who moved to be close to us wil be left high & dry) with deep breathing here & there…. To be fair I think I just do it naturally these days. DH has just properly yelled at me for being a loud breathing nut case (his words weren’t so polite). Thank God the kids & I are out at activities tonight, I’m not even allowed to breathe. FFS.

Unless everything else is VERY rosy indeed, I would be leaving this man, he is horrible to you and he is not working.

Good lord. Maybe he is stressed too?

Not saying its ok to yell but honestly that is not divorce worthy. Dh and I have just gone through a couple of stressful years but we knew that we have both had times we were more stressed than the other and gave each other a bit of latitude and been the strong one for a bit. OP hasn't said he's being abusive, just one yell for noisy breathing (haven't we all got irritated now and again during a stressful period?)

OP i would just set up as an independent cleaner, there is always people looking.

Have you looked at care or support work?

Everyone's stressed and yous are taking it out on those closest. It's a worrying time and I'm sure he's probably not telling you honestly how he feels and it has built up inside his head and he's snapped.

It's not ok to shout at you, I wouldn't be looking to divorce him as suggested but I'm not sure if it's a UK thing or a mn thing (not from UK) that you divorce your husband when things don't go your way, it seems really common when I read it on here.

Redundancy isn't great especially for the person trying to look for a new job, he's not wrong looking for something he would prefer but unfortunately he needs to realise that taking something/anything even short term is better than nothing.

When were exhausted, stressed, anxious we don't think clearly, what about sitting down together and having a chat about what each of you think and see if you both can come up with solutions.