Considering a third child at 37 with a larger age gap

[Polly5678]

Opinions please! I can’t get seem
to get rid of my broodiness for for 3rd child. We currently have a 9 & 5 year old, I’m 37 and DH 41. Would it be a huge mistake to start over again? I’d love to hear from those who have a similar gap or those who had a 3rd ‘later in life’ with a bigger gap. Financially we are ok with a 4 bed house but no family help.

We did this - I was your age, Dh was 43, and there's 8 and 10 years between our third and the other 2. DC3 was a surprise though, but a really happy one - although we didn't have family to help I loved every minute of it, I was more relaxed and knew what I was doing, really enjoyed spending time with a little person again, and he was/is adored by his older siblings. Go for it! ☺️

Personally I think if I haven’t had a 3rd by the time DS is 3 (he’s just turned 1) then I’ll be done. I just can’t imagine being so far out of sterilising/nappies/3 hour wake ups for milk (if you’re lucky) and starting all over again but if you’re financially fine and broody, you’ll regret not doing it I think! DS has been a shock to the system after a very chilled, slept through from 7 weeks and happy DD though so maybe that’s why I feel like I do 😂

Only 2 children here, but our ages/age gap would be very similar! I had my second at 38 with a 6 year age gap.

No issues at all, they get on really well and the gap means there isn't such a clash in terms of life stage/needs.

We don't have family help either but it hasn't felt any more difficult in my late thirties than it did in my early thirties.

Lots of people do that tbh

I wouldn't though, being 35 with a 7yo

13 years til uni, hopefully!

Why are you hesitating, you aren’t that old and the gaps aren’t huge, in fact they are very likely to love the new baby that they aren’t in competition with.

fwiw I have an 11 year gap between my daughters, they are not close but that’s ok.

my mum had six, with a 19 year difference first to last .. last three were within 3 years, anything can work, or not work, it’s down to personalities not timing.

I had my second at 39, 6 year age gap with his big sister. They have a lovely relationship (lots of squabbling of course but lots of fun too) and it completed our family. As long as DH is on board, I say have at it!

I had my 3rd @ 37 with the oldest two being 7 & 9, tbh it’s been great no rivalry between the youngest and the other (unlike the other two), it was a more tiring pregnancy but I was 10years older! I would definitely do it again in the same position.

I'm in a similar position and would do it in a heartbeat but DH is dead against.

My eldest is 17, my youngest 10, middle one 15. I had my youngest at 42 so older than you, maybe that's a factor. The youngest is now more like an only child as the older ones are busy with their own lives. And we are just planning uni for the eldest but i have the whole of secondary still to go with the youngest before he starts on "life". I'll be honest, I'm tired of parenting. I love them all and number 3 was a joy as i was more relaxed. But when they are older (and I am older!) it is a bit of a slog as there's still a long way to go until retirement is possible!

Not at your age but with the age gap and honestly I found it very tough. The eldest started secondary as I had the baby and the youngest primary. I felt torn in three directions and never really felt I had the time or energy for anything. Driving the eldest to clubs etc and trying to entertain the middle one but also being knackered from and having to plan life around baby feeds and naps.

love my youngest. Would t change him but god it was hard.

I was expecting a bigger age gap. I had my dd when I was 22 and my Ds when I was 34 - so a larger age gap and no issues whatsoever. I actually think in some ways it’s easier as the older one amuses themselves more so you have more time with the baby and there’s not the same jealousy issues as having younger ones together. Both are teens / adults now and have a great relationship.