How do schools tackle bullying successfully?

[ToadRage]

I wasn't sure where to put this so it's in chat. After reading a thread about bullying and almost everyone saying 'let the school handle it'. I got to wondering how do schools handle it?

My brother was severely bullied in primary school and despite my Mum talking to the school a number of times, nothing was done and he ended up having to change schools.

I was briefly the victim of abusive text messages, i reported it to the head of year and while i do not know what if anything was done, the person in question never contacted me again.

So I am curious, for people who have experienced or whose children have experienced bullying, what did the school do and did it work? My husband is of the mind that a school can do little and the bullying will only continue outside school and the only way to stop it is to stand up to them/retaliate.

I can’t speak from a huge amount of experience, but my Y3 DD was briefly bullied because of her medical condition. When I told her teacher, she took it incredibly seriously and spoke to the boy’s parents. I’m actually friends with his parents, and they were very apologetic and mortified, so he was dealt with quickly.

Then my daughter asked her teacher if she could tell the class about her condition, because she didn’t want it to be a secret anymore and wanted them to understand. Her teacher actually cried because she was so proud of her. She immediately helped her tell the class about her condition and not a single child has said anything to her about it ever since. The school talk about disabilities and differences all the time in a very positive way, which I think helps.

So my one experience of this I was very impressed at how seriously the school took it and how swiftly it was dealt with.

I honestly think so much depends on the teacher and the parents of the bullies. Unfortunately, some parents of children who bully can behave even worse than the children themselves, which makes things much harder.

They don't. DS needed to hit his bully one day and good pasting. School were sympathetic but had "no tolerance for violence", so DS was suspended for a day. School did give other detentions though. DS has no regrets about what happened even though they all made peace after.

Mostly ignore it or blame the bullied kid IME.

However before the head was forced out at secondary DD1 did have text falling out with some primary shcool mates still in her class - involving nasty texts and phone bullying.

School called everyone involved into a one to one meeting with head of year and it stopped it dead - partly as they didn't belive me when I said I would report it to school when I became aware and becuase the school did take it serioulsy let them know they knew and if it continued they'd have consquences.

Then that head left and school didn't care at all - including assults right in from of staff - though by then some had been hurt intervening and lacked SLT back up.

Otherwise it's often splitting them up -- only possible in primary with more than one entry - and even there they can be difficult - or avoiding force teaming DN had because it made diffocult child easier for staff at DN expense.

My kid was attacked unprovoked in the lunch hour outside school . The school tried to say as it was off the premises it was nothing to do with them so I contacted the school community copper at the local station . I rang the station and asked him / her to contact me . He spoke to the child concerned who was well known to him . I also informed the school what I had done and they were not amused . Tough . I also told some gossipy mum’s and it went round like greased lightning. My kid was never bothered again .

That’s all violent bullies understand unfortunately. Your DS gave him a dose of his medicine. I always told my kids if someone hits you more than once then you hit them right back . As you said your son was never bothered again . It also sends out a message to others . If your son hadn’t hit back it would have been open season as other kids would have seen him as a weak target.

Others piled on due to this main bully. This bully got the others to join in on the mocking and deriding. He used to say he could beat DS up easily. DS showed him a thing or two and beat the crap out of him. DS felt amazing seeing him crumple to the floor

I should say come year 11 all those silly arguments had gone and everyone got along.

Despite their policies, posters, etc., most schools/teachers seem to ignore it.

I was bullied mercilessly at school, not just name calling, but physical assault, theft/damage to my property, etc., and the teachers didn't give a toss and did the usual "victim blaming" because the perpetrators were part of the "popular" crowd, i.e. those in the school sports teams, or leading parts in school plays etc.

It was worse because two of the worst bullies were literally either side of my name in the alphabet so lots of lazy teachers set classroom seating plans, teams, groups, etc according to surname, so I found myself constantly sitting next to them or supposed to be doing group work with them. Despite those same teachers knowing full well that I'd reported those pupils for my bullying - they didn't give a toss and were too lazy to plan the seating/groups in a different way.

Brilliant . The bully underestimated your son . I bet your son has had no problems with bullying since .