Would Duke of Edinburgh help my 18-year-old build confidence and friendships?

[MagentaRaindrops]

DD18 has struggled quite a bit over the years with her education and friendship groups. Sadly, she really hasn't done very well with her GCSEs and her re-sits at college have been far from idea either and she is now starting a functional skills course for her Maths and English.

She recently completed a 2 year college course and has done really well getting her certificates ( she is very practical rather than academic) but sadly she just can't find a job in her chosen industry. She has been working a seasonal holiday job over the last 5 months and has made a lovely friend there but the season is soon to come to an end and therefore the work. She has applied for endless jobs in all kinds of industries but our area is highly populated and finding work is a nightmare.

Poor dd is low and disheartened atm and her confidence has plummeted too. Her school friends have all turned their backs on each other and gone their separate ways (not a bad thing as it was quite a toxic group). DD has a lovely bf and this girl from her current work but feels quite lonely and lost, she has always struggled maintaining friendships and I often wonder if she may be ND, I have adhd and her brother has asd, she and I are very alike and she does seem to display some adhd traits. She is actually the life and soul once she gets used to people but can struggle pushing herself to meet new people and exploring new things. She did try some voluntary work and enjoyed it but they were all older people and she longs to make more friends her own age.

I hate seeing her down on herself and her abilities, she is a beautiful and friendly young woman, very artistic and creative and I see a potential in her that she just can't yet envisage. I would love for her to meet new people from all walks of life and open up her life.

I was just looking at an advert for the DofE and wondered if this may help her gain more confidence in herself and her abilities, help her meet new and interesting people and gain extra skills for her life ahead. I will be honest I know little about this programme and none of my friend's dc have done this either.

So my question (sorry for the long ramblings - adhd and all that!) - has anyone or their dc completed this and what did it do for their lives?

Mine did it at school so it was a very different set up.

who would be running it?
some of it is really good, she should be supported to find voluntary work which she has to college over a few months. There’s also an overnight camping trip, so you walk to the site with all your stuff, pitch your tent, pack up the next day then walk back.
it would mean she’s camping with strangers if it’s not run by her college etc.

It is a great scheme, if it’s run well. Mine didn’t get that much from it as they’d already done scouts and volunteering for that.

Most do it at school - I’m not sure if you can miss out the stages but my DD did Bronze at 16. To be honest she hated it. The residential trips were awful due to the meanness of her fellow participants. You can do it at 18 direct entry. But not sure how valuable employers find it - do it purely for personal enrichment. It is very time consuming.

OP you have posted about this many times before.

D of E is not a substitute for exam passes. She would be better getting a volunteer position in a charity shop.

Eem, no I haven't. I have only come across a FB ad for DofE today which got my thinking and I am certainly not expecting it to replace her exams, she's at college for that. As you will see if you've bothered to read my op fully you will see I am asking this to see if it could boost dad's confidence and help her make new friends.

I've not posted anything about DD before.

D of E is a good 5 to 10 minute chatting point at an interview... But it doesn't open the door to get that interview in the first place, grades do.

In terms of friendships, it's like everything else, school, work, clubs, church congregations... You will like some people and dislike others with the majority meh... It might get 1 or 2 friends, but I don't think it's the answer you are looking for. Sounds like she needs some purpose, dare I say getting away from home???

Her world is v small by the sounds of it and yes, everyone else moves on quickly at 18.... Sorry, not everyone, but most...

Ah, that's a bit disappointing, I was hoping it may be something she could do at 18 as it says from 16-24 on the website but if most are 16 and still at school she may feel a bit out of it.

It might not open doors as such on CVs but it could give her confidence, something to focus on, interaction with other people and then things to talk about in interviews when giving examples of challenges, transferable skills etc.

I know you can miss stages out but then need to extend the time doing voluntary work etc

How about some voluntary work instead, is there anything she’s interested in?

The younger age group will be doing Bronze. You can jump straight into Silver but will take more time

Part of DofE involves voluntary work, other elements are physical, skills and expedition

key at this point (especially if you suspect adhd) is for her to be doing something, little and often, to keep up the momentum.

i didn't do Dofe as had lots of other stuff going on and it would have been too much, but I'm not sure how she would meet people - the expedition is maybe the only thing that you would do with other DoE participants, everything else would be where and how you choose to practice the skill + do the service? which she could do anyway. so I'm noy saying don't do it but I'm not sure if it is the slam dunk youre looking for.

What is her preferred industry? Is she signing on? is she doing any volunteering already?

DS did bronze in year 9 at age 14 then the silver in year 10 at age 15 so your DD might be older than others doing it.

Scouting (and I assume Guiding) are always looking for new volunteers (many young people do this as part of their DofE)