I’m feeling sorry for myself, I don’t really know why I’m posting about it. I have been a good friend to a few different people over the years, I’ve more often been the one who listens to problems, who is flexible about plan changes, would get in touch when it’s been a while, that sort of thing. I had a baby last year and for one reason or another everyone has evaporated. I had quite bad PPA, relationship worries, ill parents, very bad sleep that went on and on. I could really have used even one friend. But my former closest friend has become very unavailable, I think because of her own fertility problems. Another formerly close friend has her own children and has always been a bit chaotic and slow at texts, but I tried to share one of the problems that has been making me feel very lonely and didn’t get a reply. A third friend who I have previously had heart to hearts with is very busy with work and her child. My two long running dispersed whatsapp groups of friends seem to have fizzled out after years, so even light chit chat with distant friends is hard come by. When other friends in those groups had babies and toddlers the chats were busy.
Everyone has good reasons to be unavailable, but I’ve made some big efforts at a cost to myself to be there for these same friends in the past, including taking time off work and putting myself in a situation that retriggered some old traumas for me to help the friend with fertility issues through a mental health crisis.
I don’t think anyone has done anything wrong but I feel very let down and disappointed and unimportant.