How do you get it all done?

[Crackersknackered]

I’ve got two DC (4&8) and work part-time, DH works away 40%. When he’s here he’s brilliant but much of the time I’m on my own. I’m just drowning! By the time I’ve got the washing and ironing done, I’ve not even put it away before it’s time for the next load. Plus juggling DC activities, appointments, etc. People talk about babies being difficult but I feel this is a totally different order of magnitude! We don’t have money for a cleaner or other help, and no local family who can help with DC. Am I doing something wrong or is this just how it goes for most people?

It's just how it is I'm afraid. I notice you iron. I've got no time for ironing so I'd get that off the list immediately 😂x

My set up is similar; I treat laundry as a daily job like washing up so I’m always relatively on top of it. I only iron school shirts though. I also have a very organised house and I tidy up at the end of each day and kids are in charge of their rooms which has variable effectiveness.
My home isn’t pristine and it only takes someone being ill or a weekend away to throw it off but keeping on top of it daily seems to work the best for me.

My sister has three (8, 11, 13) and works PT, mostly from home. Her hubby is also away a lot as the MD of a big food company. She's run off her feet.

It's part of the reason I don't have any and don't plan to (only 31yo atm).

You lost me at "ironing".
I only iron for weddings or job interviews.

Well stop ironing, first of all!!! I don’t know any working mums who iron anything unless it’s as a one off for a job interview or a very important work meeting. I certainly don’t.

My guess is that you are trying to do too much unnecessary stuff in the house and keep it the way you would have done pre kids. That’s just not possible, or if it is it comes at the cost of spending time with the kids or having time for yourself to exercise, see friends, relax, etc. Eg it doesn’t matter if the clean laundry stays in the basket and you just fish the stuff out when you need it. Don’t worry about putting the kids toys away every night. I do life admin on my phone while waiting by the pool during my DC’s swimming lessons, or on the train while commuting to work. I try to cook double of most meals so have left overs to heat up a few nights a week. All grocery shopping is done online with a standing weekly order that I just tweak each week, plus maybe a smaller mid week top up if we are running low on things.

But yes, it is hard. Since my DC was born, I basically aimed for 7 out of 10 on kids, marriage, work and house - which was a tough shift mentally having always been someone who was a super organised high achiever. Now my DC are older (late primary / early high school) and are able to do heaps more for themselves, I’d say I’m back up to 8 out of 10. But the housework must always be the lowest priority on the list - if there is an important work project, if the kids are ill, etc, the housework is the one to skimp on or ignore for a while.

You manage to get the washing AND ironing done, you are winning!

Yep, you lost me at ironing. I hang any tops/jumpers that can’t be tumbled as soon as they come out the wash. Everything else either gets tumbled and then hung up/folded whilst still warm from the dryer. I have a clothes steamer than I’ll use if absolutely necessary (probs once a year).

I’m way past those years but I had them,

I worked FT and had 2 children, DH worked away for about 3 to 4 months of the year the decade they were small, he missed DS first birthday.

I didn’t buy much, far less clutter, made the children help from year dot, never ironed a thing, we all had a bath or shower before bed so those sheets were on way longer than MN standard, zero pets, shopping delivered, saying No to any kind of outing or visit I didn’t want, always doing one thing before work, lots of one pot meals all and chucked in so they don’t need watching by slow cooker or tray bake stuff, spot cleaned a lot of school uniforms. When they were older I got a cleaner and that was great.