What are the best things you've done just for yourself?

[MadMAGA]

Mine would be:

• Doing an OU degree. It took 6 years but it was really interesting and the feeling of accomplishment at the end was worth the slog.
• Going on Mounjaro. I'm 30kg down and feel great.

Both cost a bomb and needed long-ish term commitment that took money/time that wasn't centred on the DC, but I'd say they were worth it for the improvement they made to my life.

Those are wonderful things. I wish I had something like that to feel good about. The only things I can think of are taking a couple of trips to see friends from the distant past, and my houseplant and doorstep plant family (lots of time and quite a bit of money).

I think a long term project (like yours) to improve my mind and body would be wonderful.

Found some small things that caused me anxiety and just stopped doing them/started doing them more

like for instance, if I didn’t want to do something I’d feel bad letting people down and would lie that I have plans or whatnot
but it would actually stress me out that maybe they’d know I was lying, what happens if they saw me or blah blah blah
so anyway I just vowed to stop telling white lies
turns out it was bloody easy and loads of my unnecessary stress just like, went away

so things like that

I started to say no to my family. Admittedly, they did not like it very much at first (I was raised to be a people pleaser).

I moved far away from where I grew up. The non-stop privacy and independence is LIBERATING!

I am starting to do more things that are outside of my comfort zone, to try to make me feel a bit braver about trying new things.

I'm hoping that permanent hair straightening will be added to the list in a few months!

Solo travel
Losing over 5 stone with diet and exercise
OU degree

I regularly go on cheap weekends abroad by myself and enjoy a few days looking round or reading a book in the sun pleasing myself!

I have gone on the wegovy tablets. 10lb down and feel lighter and slimmer already. Being overweight is such hard work and my confidence has sky rocketed.

plunged spare cash into a SIPP, I hope to live a fantastic retirement (don’t get me wrong, I won’t be loaded but I hope not to be so poor as a single female that I have to stay home and not afford the heating!)

One of the VPs at work likes to tell us this saying:

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.

Go for it!

@dontcookwontcook a few years ago I got myself into a bad habit of saying yes to overlapping, incompatible plans and then having to get myself out of them. Now I just politely say no and you're right, the lack of stress is wonderful.

Staying p/t, time is very underrated.

Got my bike fixed up 😊

Stopped ruminating over things I did and didn't do in the past. It's amazing how much time and mental energy that takes up, It took a while for the ol' Danvers brain to deal with it, though. I've adopted the mantra of 'you did what you did (or didn't do) with the knowledge you had at the time and you're a different person now.'

Tummy tuck. Finished paying it off a year or so ago.

Solo travel.

DP has a massively full-on & time consuming hobby which occupies a huge amount of his free time. That’s not a criticism ; I knew this thing was his passion, that the preparation was demanding & that he competed at a high level when we got together. But it means I have a lot of free weekends & weeks of annual leave while he is away.

So a decade or more ago I said ‘sod it’ & went to Barcelona for a long weekend on my own. Game changer. I absolutely loved every minute of it & I have been on counteless solo trips across Europe & North America since.

Breast reduction
Invisalign
Botox

Mounjaro
Solo Travel
Saying no

Emigrated my myself as a single thirtysomething woman to my dream city without knowing a single person here.

Still can’t quite believe I did it.

My mother did that in her fifties - emigrated to the other side of the world, a dream she'd had for all her life. Granted she had family there, but still a massive upheaval.

Well bloody done! ❤️

Completed an OU degree, currently doing a masters. Took singing and piano lessons. All in my 30s.

I’m 25kg down on Mounjaro- game changer!

I have trichotillomania and no eyebrows at all. Getting them microbladed was one of the best things I've ever done.

Mournjaro - also 30kg down and transformed my health and confidence
Matching the energy I get from people - I no longer chase people/scrabble for approval/try to fix ‘wrongs’ I’m being punished for (especially when I don’t know what they are!) The mental peace is phenomenal. As part of this I also refuse to second guess/read between the lines/respond to hints - I hear the words people say and take them at face value. So mentally freeing!
Learning to tow a caravan at the grand old age of 40, it felt so good to prove that the old dog can learn new tricks and be pretty good at reversing.

Did a post grad masters level qualification at a Russell group uni. Cost was covered by my employer but I felt guilty about taking the time away from family (dh and dc) while I was on each deadline. Dh was amazing and enabled it because he’s so supportive. That said, getting a distinction, while working in a toxic environment where I questioned my own ability and intellect, was the boost I needed to believe in myself. Also gave proof to the toxic individuals that they were so very wrong about me.

I’m desperate to know the city! Any hints?

Getting divorced, taking up strength training and adopting a cat.

Another degree here at the local University. It was amazing not to be " Xs Mum" or defined by my career. I loved meeting other mature students and have interesting conversations that were a world away from the roles I had been pigeon holed into.

I felt alive for the first time in years!

So much so I started a part time Masters last week! I'll be 55 by time I finish and qualified for a whole new direction.

Well done!! I'm always advocating for people to be more straightforward in things like this. The bonus is, the more people do it, the more others feel able to do it.