Early forties, just passed test but struggling to drive on my own

[CP26]

I recently passed my driving test after putting off learning for decades due to fear. Once I had my daughter I realised I really needed to drive and so struggled through lessons in an automatic. It didn’t come naturally but eventually I booked a test and passed.

But now that I have passed I’m awful. The main issue is I am now driving my husband’s car which is an SUV and feels much bigger than the driving instructors car. We live in London, and during my lessons we mainly drove out where the test centre is and the roads are much wider. Now I am driving this huge car in much narrower London streets with parked cars on either side and pedestrians and cyclists everywhere. I struggle with spatial awareness and constantly feel like I’m going to hit the cars on either side. I’m also going slowly as I am so scared to hit something and also need time to process everything going on around me.

I’ve only been out a few times but everytime feels harder than the last. Has anyone else had issues like this? What did you do? I’m considering getting some lessons in my own car if that’s an option but maybe it’s just something I need to practice more. I don’t want to have come this far to give up.

I think it must be really hard being in London. I was the same and stayed later at work to go home when there was less traffic. It improved as I got more experience.

The Institute of Advanced Motorists do driving skills courses that might be what you want. The Driving Skills Refresher is the one I did. You do it in your own car with one of their instructors and can tell them what you want to focus on. One of the things they suggest it for is getting used to a new vehicle.

Most driving instructors will do lessons for someone who has passed a test but needs to improve on whatever aspect.
I have been driving all my life and wouldn't fancy driving an SUV in London.
Can you get a smaller car for running around?

Well done passing ! I am learning at the moment and my test is soon, I am learning in a manual though. I am practicing in DH’s car which is much more powerful, a larger car than my instructor has. It is really a big shift, and I am doing lots of short drives on quiet roads. It gave me quite a fright when I first tried driving it as it was so different.
I live rurally and so there are many things that I won’t cover in my test. If I pass I am going to have extra lessons afterwards.
I agree with pp, carry on learning by having some sessions in your car with your instructor, don’t lose heart. Do short drives every day, and have some extra training. It does take time to get used to a different vehicle.
I drove DH’s car for an hour yesterday, and although it wasn’t very challenging in terms of road eg no roundabouts, it had some things I hadn’t done before in this car. A very steep series of hairpin bends, a lot of narrow winding lanes, some fiddly turns. It all helps ! You just need more time, you will get used to it.

I passed my test at 36 and went from a small Fiat yo a Subaru so I know how you feel.

Once you have passed that's when you really learn to drive- no one tells you this!

Have a couple of lessons with your instructor - concentrate on parking and how big the car is. Has it got cameras? The good thing about London is that everyone is going slowly.

Go out every day even if it's just round the block. It will get easier in time but you have to work at it.

Congratulations 🎉

perhaps ask your husband if they don't mind trading in the SUV for something smaller if you don't need the space. I've driven for 20 years but I wouldn't fancy driving in London either.

I also passed In my early 40s due to been to scared before. My husband drives a suv and I hated it. To big, always felt tight on narrowing roads and oh my is was horrible to park. I went out and got myself a lovely little clio and iv been fine since. I would never drive to London though I’m not confident enough.

Exactly same thing happened to a friend of ours, only difference is she was in her 50's. And you you know what fixed it completely? An inflatable clown. She realised it was the part of being alone that made driving so difficult, especially as she always had someone in car previously.
She blew up the clown and put it in the rear seat, whenever she had any self doubt she would simply look at the clown in her rear view mirror and her confidence was immediately restored