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If you became a single parent when your children were little, how did you manage their hobbies?

11 replies

headingtorain · 13/09/2026 10:01

I’m feeling like I’m dragging one child along with me to another child’s hobby all the time! Maybe the answer is just to do less but then I feel bad for stopping them doing something they love at a time when everything’s changing anyway. I’m hoping to maybe ask other mums to help but it’s a BIG ask and worried about being seen as entitled.

OP posts:
Ooohaaahjustalittlebit · 13/09/2026 10:03

We'd spend the time together doing something, so it became special time with the child sat waiting. And things like swimming I made sure the lessons coordinated so they were either the same time or one after the other

BigWig78 · 13/09/2026 10:05

Yeah if you can overlap that’s good. Like beavers and cubs can take boys and girls or sports classes that they can both go to. Or back to back classes. Also help from grannies etc. once they are settled in a class it would be okay to offer to share lifts with another parent as kid as you did your share too then the sibling would only be hanging around half the time. But it’s tough.

Telecone · 13/09/2026 10:06

Swimming and beavers / cubs were the same time and in the town centre so I could have a wander or do errands with the other child.
They did music at school.
For a while (8/9/10yrs old) they did table tennis and kids yoga at weekends but ONLY because I had a car and they started 30 mins apart so I could just drive between them dropping off and picking up. They would watch me do parkrun then they'd do their stuff for an hour or so.

I would not do football or anything that involved me standing around in the cold with other child. I worked part time. Nothing late either as it would mess up the other ones bedtime.

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headingtorain · 13/09/2026 10:08

Thanks. I’ve got both doing swimming and one ballet and one doing rugby and football but think he’ll have to drop one. But he’s upset about it. Arghh.

OP posts:
risingup · 13/09/2026 10:11

Another one here who tried to co-ordinate things so that the second child wasn't just hanging about waiting for too long.

Another thing I did was put some of the responsibility back on the child who wanted to do the activity. When my 8 year decided she wanted to go to the swimming/lifesaving club once a week and it wasn't a convenient time for me to go I said to her "ok you can go to the club. Be dressed with your swimbag ready and ready to get in the car at 5.45 and I'll take you". She never did that and never mentioned it again. 😀I guess she only really wanted to do it if I made it happen. She wasn't bothered about making it happen herself, which was fine by me.

WhatNextImScared · 13/09/2026 10:14

Can you do something nice or useful with the other one at the same time? I’m not a solo parent but my DH works shifts and isn’t around that much during club hours. So if one is at something I will take the other to a cafe and do homework, chat or read together etc

headingtorain · 13/09/2026 10:15

It depends @WhatNextImScared , I can do that with my older one a bit but the little one is only three. She’s really good about it but I just feel bad when she’s sitting watching her brother play rugby or in a pool. And vice versa of course!

OP posts:
SoManyTshirts · 13/09/2026 10:41

Solo parent - either we all went (to watch DS play football, mostly) or nobody went. If one was invited to a party or play date, I’d amuse the other one to the best of my ability. Not much time for independent activities for any of us, given FT work and necessary childcare, food shopping etc.

In balance, they tried every activity available during school holidays and had music lessons (paid) at school. We did lots of trips to places of interest, beach, walks together at the weekend.

Brightbluesomething · 13/09/2026 12:03

As a single parent with no family nearby I had to take them both. She was a toddler at her big brothers rugby matches and very popular with other parents and siblings. When we went to her swimming lessons he had some of his friends there too as their younger siblings swam.
They don’t have to be doing something exciting 24/7. Socialise with the other parents/kids there, take a book or activity and plenty of snacks.
You don’t have much choice so there’s little point in feeling guilty.

mondaytosunday · 13/09/2026 12:23

Yes a bit of that. My DD had to come twice weekly to rugby practice and ended up serving the teas and coffees to parents on match days. The tricky bit was her netball and my son’s matches were often on the same day (Saturday), so a couple times I had to race from one to the other. My son was better at not minding if I had to shoot off, but my (younger) DD wanted me there. Her netball practise in the winter was at her school even though it wasn’t run by the school which was convenient as they let them stay in the library until practise time. Brownies was at her school too. But yes I’m afraid my oldest seemed to win out if I had to choose, but then he was much keener on sport. I arranged her piano on a non conflicting day.

Mandarinaduck · 13/09/2026 12:25

I'm in a big city so probably easier here but could you get a babysitter to take one of the children to their activity.

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