Would you leave a 14 year old and 9 year old alone for an hour?

[RVectensian]

As per the title really, would you leave a 14 year old and 9 year old boy home alone together for an hour to collect another child? Both insist they just want to watch TV and play xBox.

14 year old has a phone.

Completely agree, I hope I’m doing a better job… though I look at my 15 year old and I wouldn’t think he’d do as well as I did in 3 years time if he left home as I did at 18. Mine have had to learn to look after themselves starting when I was working from home upstairs unable to be disturbed while they were 5&8 homeschooling themselves downstairs. And at 11 onwards staying home all day alone during school holidays while I work. I had thought this was the norm but perhaps not given some of these replies.

I wouldn't expect a 14 year old to babysit especially regularly as it's not their job, but if they're both asking to be left at home, surely this is their opportunity to show they can be trusted together. The 14 year old must've been left at home before so this is really about their dynamic

Yes I would not think anything of it if they are both well behaved.

14 year old has been left alone, yes, and both have been left with the 16 year old I am collecting for an hour while shopping or similar.

But not both without the older one, if that makes sense.

But I think I'm happy with it, just wanted to make sure I wasn't being negligent.

I started leaving my daughter when she was nine at home by herself when I was going to collect the other one from various after school activities.

I wouldn’t say you were negligent at all.

If it’s not today, then you could always just start popping out for short amount of times and build up to it.

I think it’s good for kids to have some independence and trust.

I do wonder how people's lives work sometimes.

We both work - hybrid so some days one of us WFH but some days we are both in the office so I have had at the back of my mind that once there are no childcare options for after school and holidays, my kids are going to need to be ok home alone.

Of course we will try and break it up a bit and it won't be 6 weeks home alone or anything but that's why I have started leaving them for a few mins at a time from aged 8.

I also frankly don't want one of these hapless teens/young adults that stay at home for decades while I run around after them!

Yes we used to leave our 14 yo DS with 9 yo DD. He was responsible and sensible and she was happy to follow his lead!
Obviously had rules about kitchen use etc and would leave snacks available if necessary.

I was babysitting at this age for a 8, 4, and 2 year old

I had a Saturday job at the age of 14 dealing with customers. It surprises me that some parents worry about leaving a 14 and 9 year old for one hour but are ok with their teens having access to the Internet and the content they are exposed to on there. Strange world we live in!

I’m shocked to read this but also feel it’s a sign of the times!

I cannot fathom why you’d even need to consider this?
My dd was babysitting for multiple children at that age (as were many others!)

Unless there’s a huge backstory and one or both dc have significant behavioural or sen needs, I’m confused!

Yes.

Absolutely!!
It explains why most 15-16 year olds that come to do work experience at my workplace seem to be ill equipped for the world!

Yes, of course. If a 14 year old can't be trusted to look after their 9yo sibling for an hour, something has gone horribly wrong.

Of course. I wouldn't think twice about it.

Depends on the kids. I know 12 year olds who are responsible enough to babysit for an hour but I also know 18 year olds who I wouldn’t let look after a pet rock 😂

i was frequently left alone at 12 years old in charge of a younger sister while my mother went out shopping for the afternoon. In those days parents were not so paranoid and kids grew up with a bit of backbone.

This time next year your eldest could be at Reading or Leeds festival ….

Of course. I regularly left my 9 year olds alone for an hour. At 14 I was left overnight a frw times and at 15 went on a ten day holiday with my other fifteen year old friends.

And there's of course they have significant SENs or you live in a war zone.

A 14 YO left alone with a 9 YO is hardly 'babysitting'. SENs aside, I'd question it if they couldn't be left alone or not be able to do things like leave the house and call 999 if there was a fire for example.

If they had phones or other entertainment, it would be quite possible they'd not even notice you'd gone out.

If trustworthy and 1 had a mobile they could ring me in an emergency.

I wouldn’t think twice about it.

Of course I would

I didn't describe it as babysitting, to be fair. He wasn't babysitting, they were just in the same house, and had something horrendous happened I'd have expected them to deal with it accordingly.

I wouldn't leave them home alone all day while at work, regardless. We have structured out lives such that that is not necessary.

Both teens are capable and mature, and travel independently for their chosen sport...neither of them are hapless or 'layabout'. But on this occasion, I wanted to check that my instinct that it was ok to leave a child that age (not 9 until October but close enough for this conversation I had thought) at home with an older child, given that DH was, and still is uncontactable due to being on the water.

I don't know anyone who worked at 14 to be fair, I had my first job in 6th form, as did any of my friends who worked. There aren't many jobs around for that age now, as my eldest child is discovering.

Ordinarily I would say yes, but not after the Aria Thorpe case.