Don't know if I am being unreasonable but not brave enough to post in AIBU.
My DH has 2 life limiting illnesses.
He has woken up today for about the 7th day in a row with a bad cough that is getting worse. Because of his health issues it's almost definitely connected to 1 of them and based on previous situations is serious. He is refusing to go to the GP. Again. He has form for this. On 2 separate occasions he has become ill for days, refused to seek help and ended up being blue lighted to hospital for stays of 7 plus days. Each time a consultant says to him that it would have been better if he had sought medical attention earlier. The first time it happened it resulted in permanent damage that could almost certainly have been avoided if he had received medical help earlier.
When this happened late last year I literally told him that he would end up in a and e at 3 am if he didn't seek medical input. He refused to listen and that is exactly what happened (apart from the fact it was 2 am!). I sound completely selfish I know but when he ends up in hospital it is horrible for both our (adult) son and I. We are worried and upset. We had a huge row about it at the time. I refused to apologise later - said everything I wanted you to avoid you didn't. Grow up and take responsibility. Our son also made it clear to him that when he is in hospital it is horrible for all of us.
And that brings us to today. He's clearly struggling. He won't see a GP. I have said very calmly that if he goes to A and E he will be on his own this time. I will not be supporting him by spending 12 plus hours with him and then visiting him every day, bringing him food, clean clothes etc. He can deal with the full consequences,
I get that he hates the way his health is and that him being in hospital is horrible for him. But if it were me I would do everything within my power to avoid hospital admission. He said that I am being cold and uncaring. I said that if he cared about how his medical emergencies made his loved ones feel he would do his utmost to avoid them where possible.
I genuinely am so over this shit - I think I have gone into survival mode, if he doesn't care enough ether about his health or himself or his child or I, then I am banging my head against a brick wall and I want to stop. He's currently in bed coughing away. This time it all feels different - almost as though I am done with it all and he can make his own stupid and selfish decisions free of me pleading with him to be sensible.
I am not sure why I am posting. I am certain that I come across as nasty. But I have really had enough.