Memory recall of nearly being abducted

[Terrifyingmystery]

I’ve had trouble sleeping in the night so my mind has been wandering and replaying events that have happened and I recalled this one experience that left me shaking and remains a mystery years later. I wonder if anyone can shed any light on what they think might have been going on.

I was around 16-17 years old but looked much younger, at a guess probably looked about 14. It was around 1999 or 2000 but I would say 2000 seems likely. I lived in a somewhat middle class town in west London (I’m being vague on purpose) and had travelled to a bus stop to catch a bus to college. It was between 8.30 and 10.30am. The day was clear and bright with a slight chill - probably spring time. I remember exactly what I was wearing - I had on wide leg trousers as the fashion at the time and a jacket. I was completely covered up. This is an important detail I feel I need to share.

I was at the bus stop just past some roundabouts waiting for the bus that wasn’t particularly regular. That morning was busy with cars on the road but hardly anyone walking which was very normal for that area in those days. Anyway I was at the bus stop for probably around 5 mins. A car pulls up at this bus stop. It’s a narrow road so the car stopping prevents other drivers from behind them overtaking. The older man with glasses rolls his window down and asks me where a named church is. He had a map open on his lap (obviously no gps at the time) and I said it’s just at the end of the road. He said can you show me. I said it’s straight at the end of the road. At this point he got really angry and said get in the car. I went silent and didn’t know what to do. I could see he was debating whether to get out the car or not. Then he screamed at me get in the f’ing car now. I just froze and backed away. I didn’t leave, I was trying to process this and then in frustration he banged his hands on the wheel and drove off. I’m not kidding about the next part, I really wish I was. I was now stood much further away from the road so in a pavement and more visible. That stop didn’t have a bus shelter so I was a bit further back from the stand. Anyway a minute later another car pulls up, same place with a different man/ different car rolls his window down asking me where that same church was. This time I didn’t respond and ignored him. He too waited to decide what to do. After about another minute with cars beeping him/ overtaking he drove off. At that point I went into panic mode trying to process this when a third car (!!!) pulls up and before the guy even opened his mouth a load of expletives left mine as I shouted at this man as loudly as I could so anyone could hear. He drove off pretty quick. Soon after my bus finally turned up and I was shaking. Absolutely terrified and shaking. I still think now, I’m older with kids and I think whether I would have been abducted that day in broad bloody daylight too!

Yes probably - I haven’t ruled it out but I’ve all questioned that they were all men by themselves and all of them stopped to me to ask. The church was at the end of the road had they gone further. I don’t know if I can defend myself without sounding crazy or like I made it up. It shook me to the core at the time.

Happened to me too. A guy followed me slowly for about a mile shouting at me to get in his car. I tried three houses nearby but nobody was home. By some sheer miracle my friend eventually drove past and stopped when she saw me.

I don’t think you made it up! And anyone would be shaken by a man shouting at them to get into his car!

I’m just saying that there’s no evidence two of the three had any predatory intent, only that they wanted directions to the same church, and we don’t even know that for sure about the third guy. If you were waiting at a bus stop in the vicinity you were presumably local and an obvious person to ask directions from.

That makes sense. Thank you for sharing an alternative explanation.

Wow, I hope all the posters who are making up crap excuses for these vile predatory men don’t have children.

Do they belong to the ‘be kind, be a mug’ brigade too? 🤔

You were going to college, so a weekday I guess.

Like you I think this was predatory. It’s a real pity you didn’t date your notes as you could have checked for events at the church that day.

I wonder if the first two had a bet they could pick up a girl using this ruse. The third might have been a coincidence.

But you said the church was at the end of the road, did he not want to know right or left side?

I had similar once, I was isolated walking into town on a lonely road but walking on the verge. Man stopped and told me in a very shocked admonitory way that I was about to cause an accident. (walking on the verge! Hardly) He insisted I got in for a lift, got angry when I refused and told him he was the one likely to cause an accident, he tried v hard to get me in his van getting animated and sweaty then drove off in fury. They are out there.

Levi bellfield was stalking about that time but he would have been quite young then if I recall correctly. There were also south asian grooming games. Q quick AI search didn’t show any other gangs of men doing such things back then so may have been a one off or out of the area … you did the right thing though. It may be sensible to seek counselling if it’s creeping into your mind and bothering you, just to talk it through

Happened to me in 1960 Manchester .
Two Asian men stopped and tried to pull my friend and I into a car. , we ran screaming and the drove off . I was 9 . We never told our parents because we thought we would get into trouble !

I still remember it vividly but know it was such a lucky escape .

Oh, don’t be silly. One man tried to get her into his car. No one is excusing that. One man asked her directions to the same church, and moved off because of traffic building up behind him. One man didn’t even get to the point of speaking because the OP shouted at him.

There’s possibly one ‘vile, predatory man’ in this scenario! And two who literally did nothing untoward.

I think you are right. They would have been working together. Trust your instincts over that.

As it has all come to the fore, deal with it by congratulating yourself on dealing with it in the way you did and having the intuition you did. Do this several times and the feeling will hopefully fade.

I got in a van with a man when I was ten. He told me he had some baby rabbits and drove me to his home. He did have baby rabbits and he lived with his Mum who told him off for 'bringing another one home'. She gave me lemonade, I saw the rabbits and he drove me home. Later, I looked back at that and contacted the local police. They had had no reports about this man even though I was almost able to give them his address. I was lucky.

So there’s three possible explanations-
1, they were a group trying to abduct a girl. So when 1 failed the next came along. This seems unlikely as they didn’t have phones so couldn’t communicate with each other. And if you didn’t do it the first time it’s highly unlikely you would the second or third time. It also would potentially draw a lot of unnecessary attention to them.
2, three men attending a event at a church. Did you notice what they were wearing? The first was an arsehole who assumed women/ girls should do as they are told. The other two unfortunately followed him.
3, the first guy was a predator trying to get you in his car, the second guy was coincidentally going to the church and the third guy was stopping for unknown reasons but may have been also asking for directions
Either way it was a awful frightening experience

@Terrifyingmystery I come from a town round about west London too - and had a similar incident.

I was walking home from school, a man stopped his car and asked directions to eg Oak Road. I stepped forward to direct him and he leaned across and swung the car door open. Luckily a car passed and I ran across the road.

I never told my parents. You just didn’t in those days :(

Shocked at the number of people framing this as an innocent incident.

Thank you to everyone for your advice on what could have happened. Thank you also to all you brave ladies sharing your similar stories ❤️ the world is a frightening place and intuition is the only thing that is reliable.

I also think that if this were to happen today, kids would hopefully be more savvy to use phones or shout for help. Things we just couldn’t do before phones and media calling this behaviour out.

There were also non-South Asian grooming gangs. I don't like whataboutery when it's stopping a conversation about an issue with "other men do it too" but there absolutely were white men and other races preying on girls and grooming vulnerable children into sexual exploitation at the time. I don't know about the search but most reports and inquiries have found that Asian men were overrepresented compared to their prevalence in the general population but none found it was only Asian gangs. This is very relevant when talking about whether the men involved in this were dodgy.

FWIW I think the first man definitely had predatory intentions. I don't know whether the other cars were connected or just an unfortunate coincidence. But - I can remember a decade or so after your experience "Pick up Artist training" became a thing so you would have the experience of being stopped in the street with a simple question that segued into a pick up line and then a reluctance to take no for an answer. Only for another guy to stop you with the same lines a bit further up the street, and another guy after that etc. The guy wanting you to get in his car sounds way more sinister than an insistant wannabe PUA in the street. But it's why I can also believe the 3 cars might not have been a coincidence. It could have been some very creepy challenge or something. If I had told someone I had had the same pickup line five times in one hour I would have sounded like I was making it up but I wasn't.

if you wrote this in your diary you know the date. If it was me and I was in the same locale I'd go to that church and tell them I know its a strange request and they may not be able to help me but can you tell me if there was an event held that date between 830 and noon? They may have records, maybe not but it's worth asking.

And as someone else noted, their clothing could be a clue too. If all were wearing suits and the church says we held a funeral/course/mens's discussion group (anything really that a man would plausibly attend on a weekday morning) then POSSIBLY you misunderstood.

But I'm a gut check girl and if you felt terrified imo that blood running cold feeling exists for a reason. Considering possibly there was an event at that church and the final 2 men weren't up to anything, that first man shouting to get in his car?? Nope, that's very dangerous and I can't think of any man I know who would do that no matter how lost or upset he was. Yell at a teenage girl who he doesn't know to get in his car? Nope, there's no plausible reason for that except bad intent.

One strange detail is them doing this as cars honked at them, if he/they were planning to grab you it would be dumb to do in front of other motorists. Even had you willingly gotten in a car, if you were reported missing soon after its likely someone would come out and say I think I saw that girl get in a blue xxx car w/a man driving at this intersection and time. So that implies he/they were stupid wanna-be criminals or that first man was just an angry entitled man who expected you to happily guide him to the church so he didn't miss Important Event.

Very strange!

That is absalutely horrendous, thank god you got the hell away from those predators.

They are as creepy as hell and extremly dangerous.

Awful OP. I hate it when men stop to ask me anything or speak to me unsolicited and struggle to understand why do this to a lone female - especially a very young one( like you were). It is also being caught off guard and and the feeling of vulnerability. So being asked for time and so on is a classic distraction technique. In an area where theirs is limited foot traffic it is distressing.

I think some men do it just because they want to speak to a woman. A couple of weeks ago I was at a popular shop loading my shopping as a guy drives past and starts a conversation from his car with me about what the shops was like and what did it sell and then proceeded to drive out the car park ahead of me and then turned around ahead of me. Nice car smartly dress but such an odd thing to do. Caught me off guard and made me feel vulnerable

Men do go to funerals. By themselves @Terrifyingmystery

If not…. They were a very stupid gang of potential kidnappers if their plan just involved each pulling over and asking you the exact same question.

I was nearly abducted as a child and it’s such a horrific thing that comes back to you in waves. Generally a church is pretty easy to spot without needing to stop to ask a teenage girl, men stopping to ask directions is unusual anyway, and three in a row is very remarkable even if completely innocent and I’m surprised how many pps have waved it away. I’d focus on the positive that your instincts kept you safe.

Well done for evading them back then OP. You did the right thing and you can teach l your DC/others to do the same. I don’t know why you’re being doubted by some posters. Sorry this happened to you.