Huge Regret Moving To Council House - WWYD?

[CouncilHouseRegret]

My teen and I recently moved from a private rented 3-bed that I'd been in for nearly twenty years into a 2-bed council house after being on the waiting list for over a decade. I liked my old house, the landlord was great, we had lovely neighbours, the rent was relatively cheap compared to market rates, and I loved the area.

A few months ago I was offered a council house and as I'd been on the waiting list for so long, I just took it without really thinking things through.

We've been here less than two months and I've spent several thousand on this house in terms of flooring, furniture, white goods and so on but I'm having major regrets to the point my stomach has a constant sick feeling, so I'm struggling to eat and consequently losing weight. I actually hate it and wake up every morning feeling so unhappy. The house is small and needs loads of work, there's literally nothing to do in this area, hardly any shops, I'm further from friends and family, and although the area is ok, I don't feel as safe as I did before. In my last area everyone and everything was in walking distance and I felt safe. I'm a single parent of a teen who's going to uni in a few weeks, and I feel like once they're gone I'll be stuck here on my own hating it. If I could go back in time, I'd have just stayed where I was.

I know council has a low rent and the security of a lifetime tenancy, but I'm seriously questionining whether I can stay here. In fact I'm already thinking about how I can leave and have been looking into mutual exchanges but I can't do one until I've been here a year and don't know if I can cope here that long.

I know my previous landlord hasn't let out my old house yet and I'm considering contacting them to see if I can move back, but I suspect they'd increase the rent which may make it unaffordable.

In my position WWYD?

Was going to say the same as @LumpyandBumps.

As you child is over 18 you would likely only be offered a one bed in the future. You have a secure lifetime tenancy and your child will always have a room to come back to.

Stay there for now.

Your dd is a teen but she’s an adult.

Eventually she’ll move out.

With a 2 bed council house you’ll have so many options as there will be so many people wanting g a 2 bed house who are in 1 beds.

Plus the wait time would likely be another ten years.

If you no longer need a council home, then move out? Your child is no longer that 6yr old she was when you first went on the list.

It's nothing to do with 'envy', it's the fact the OP currently has a secure, affordable tenancy for life. If she gives that up, it will be gone for good.

You would be mad to go back to private rented, all my friends who do this have been moving around every few years always just as they get settled as their rent increases or landlord sell. You
were very Lucky with your previous house /landlord and from reading on here also many end up in damp/ tatty houses with no security. I know the new landlord rules are going to change this a bit but that means even less property available. All the rental properties near me landlord have sold recently too. Like the others say keep it a year or so see how you feel then swap. Who wants to be moving around in their sixties with high rent costs and no security.

OP I really feel for you, when we moved from our place of five years I felt awful, had huge regret, felt on the brink of tears for weeks, felt homesick and compared everything to my old life. That’s was five years ago now I love this home now and if I had a choice I wouldn’t go back.

I found reclaiming an element of control really helped me, it could be a small thing like buying a new houseplant or painting a room a colour i liked. Buy a map and figure out the local area and what’s on offer, there’s always more in a community if you catch behind the surface. Be gentle on yourself and give it time

No she won't, she can reapply. Living sonewhere you don't want to just for so called security isn't necessarily the right choice for her If the area and the house aren't great.

My friend lived in her home for 20 years. She has got older, the neighbourhood deteriorated, upstairs neighbours are noisy and rude. After 4 years she was suddenly offered the bungalow which she had wanted so much. She had to accept and move within a fortnight. She was in a quandary but decided to accept. It was in a nice area, closer to family and her children decorated it in a week. She moved in but we could tell she wasn't overjoyed..she missed her old home, the noise, the shop the bus stop! Eight months later she's finally getting there. It takes time for some people others not so long.

Reapply and wait another ten years? Are you high?

I wouldn’t give it up. The landlord may decide to sell up then you’ll be stuck plus they’ve probably increased the rent by now.

Put yourself back on the housing register for a move, even if you have to wait years again. Keep pushing the mutual exchange route. Try to think of the positives like much lower rent, complete security, your son might even be able to become a joint tenant eventually if he moves back in after uni. That would be huge security for him.
Try to join groups in the area, get to know your neighbours, do your house up. After a year or so you’ll feel more settled hopefully.

No she doesn't !

OP, lots of people feel the way you do when moving from somewhere they feel happy and stable , it happened to me .
I moved from my very happy home because we had a 3rd child and had no room, we moved to a lovely house in a nice area ,everything was better but i missed my old home and it took me a good 18 months before i settled.
15 years later i'm happy and settled but still look back on my old house with fondness.
Give it some time and you may feel the same.

But what if your ex landlord decided to sell once you had moved back in?

What would you do then?

Also I am surprised that you were offered a property as in many areas they will only give properties to people who are homeless.

10 years is a long time to be unhappy. Waiting lists for 1 bed retirement homes aren't as long as for family properties on the whole.

Thank you for all of the replies. I've read through them all and the comments from those of you who've previously felt similar and came out of the other side further down the line are especially reassuring to hear. It's good to see I'm not alone in finding a home move so overwhelming. I'm genuinely not ungrateful and I know that I'm extremely lucky to have this home, I've just been finding the whole situation so very stressful, especially as I'm neurodivergent and find big changes challenging to cope with.

I also discussed the situation with my colleagues in the office today and they sided with many of the comments here saying to make the house my own, get to know the new area and I'll probably feel better in time. On the way home from work I found a local shop and bought myself something lovely for dinner, so that's a positive start.

I'm glad I posted about this as it's given me the perspective I needed, especially the comments about paying expensive private rent in old age. I'm a couple of decades off retirement but it's a good point that I hadn't considered.

All in all many good points were made that helped to clear my head. I'm staying.🙂