DS won't wear any other clothes.

[Bibbitea]

He is 15, not interested in fashion at all.

Undergoing an autistim assessment currently and is struggling at school (just for context)

He has a few pals in school and has gone round regularly over the holidays.

He has a wardrobe full of clothes but mostly joggers as last year he was in a phase of just wearing generic jogging bottoms. The type you just get in primark for £7 and white tshirts. He had a growth spurt so grew out of the stuff he had before that, so replaced with the joggers he requested.

He had a single pair of cargo pants and a generic no label hoodie.

He has worn these every single day of the holidays when he has left the house. I keep asking him if he wants to get new clothes and he keeps saying no.

Yesterday we ended up at a shopping centre and his sister was buying sone bits from hollister.

Hes recently got into some grungy bands and wears a band beanie he bought.

I tried showing him some baggy skater pants but he didn't want to try any on. Ditto for the tahirts etc.

He said he liked 'that hoodie' and pointed to a plain hoodie that was EXACTLY the same as the one hes worn non stop for months 😒🤣 He admitted he was winding me up.

I would like to get him some new bits because I just think his friend and friends family must think he only had one set of clothes in the whole world?!

Should I just buy some stuff and just leave it in his room and see if he puts it on?

I would like him to have a choice though but he just has no interest.

He asked for new trainers but wanted the same ones the had had last time (which are the 3rd pair in a row that have been the same)

My AuDHD teen is the same and has been since they were 2! Very particular about material and textures. There’s no point buying clothes he’s not going to wear. Just buy what he has in bigger sizes and get a few so you can have some in the wash.

my daughter is autistic and has a lot of feelings about clothes. We have had one pair of trainers for years now - buy the same one size up each time. Or two pairs the same when needed. She has multiples of leggings (they changed the fabric slightly last year which made her pause a bit) and multiple similar hoodies several sizes too big.

If your concern is about the size that’s fair - look on vinted for the next size up or buy loads of similar online to see what feels right. Then buy 4 more. No one besides you will care - half the teens around me appear to live in black tracksuits anyway.

Lots and lots and lots of people wear basically the same clothes day in day out.

president Obama was famous for it.
https://www.fastcompany.com/3026265/always-wear-the-same-suit-obamas-presidential-productivity-secrets

men in particular will often do this - but many women also do variation on black trousers and colourful top as a work “uniform”.

if he’s got clean clothes he is happy to wear it’s really not necessary to try to turn him into a fashionista

My dd was like this at 15, at 17 she is a bit better but her style is very niche, the stuff she likes is not really suitable for everyday wear so she is mostly in her leggings and plain top. I have bought her lots of 'normal' fashionable branded clothes in the last few years that she said she would wear but never did. Hold off I say.

As a parent of Autistic teens and adults, I suggest you learn about Autism.

Its not that big a deal, let him wear what he wants. As long as hes clean and comfortable, who care what others think.

As long as he is clean and decently covered I would be pleased he isn’t a fashion victim wasting money on expensive brands social media etc has told him he needs.

That said, personally I would talk to him about the ethics of Primark but that depends on your own views of course.

Wearing a limited style and colour palette is actually quite freeing. No debate about what goes with what. No wondering if such and such will fit in another brand.

He does need a small selection of formal clothes though for when the occasion demands more than joggers and a top.

Perhaps work on that?

My 16 yo DS is like this and doesn’t have autism. He likes wearing black and refuses to wear any other colour, he likes band T-shirts and hoodies so will pretty much just wear these with loose fitting black joggers (owns a few pairs but they look the same so…) and black nike trainers. Can’t get him to venture outside of this.

Looking at the teenage boys walking about they all seem to wear the same sort of stuff. And everything seems to be black!

This is rubbish. As a ND person he will have a lower zone of tolerance than a NT person. Using up all of his tolerance on things he isn’t bothered about eg clothing will mean he will have less tolerance for things which he wants to do.

Buy him multiples of the same.

My autistic partners is still the same now. For work, three identical suits, 5 identical shirts three identical pairs of shoes. Outside work 501s and Primark white t shirts same pants and socks 5 x same trainers. So what, let him

I so relate to 'lots of feelings about clothes'!

I'm autistic and when something wears out, I want to replace it with exactly the same thing. I know I like it, I'm used to it, and I'd keep wearing it forever it it wasn't full of holes.

My 15-year-old is very similar. I just let him keep wearing the same thing. He likes going to charity shops and buying things, and some of them go into the (very small) rotation and some of them don't.

Having clothes which feel wrong or uncomfortable is a huge drain, but it can be hard to know what will be right. If you find something that doesn't bother you, it gives you more capacity for dealing with other things.

I also think that believing teenagers are the best judge of their own comfort is really important. It helps them to trust themselves and advocate for themselves

Have you considered it may be a sensory issue?! My young adult daughters are very similar. I, myself, have sensory issues and hate how some clothing feels but I make myself wear them to fit in. I’m very proud my daughters are confident enough to wear what makes them comfortable. ( they have multiples of the same sort of clothing and are always clean and tidy)

I've never been diagnosed with anything but my journey with my daughter has made me really look at myself too! I have multiples of most things - and 5 pairs of the same trainers in different colours. And a whole lot of feelings about fabrics. When you're an adult, you just do what works for you but there's a whole stage of being a child where someone else makes those decisions - I'm trying to give her that option now. In all the struggles to get her to brush her teeth, and talk to teachers, and stop panicking about being late all the time I really don't think spending time arguing about fabrics is a good use of either of our time or energy so it's 5 pairs of H&M black leggings at a time and that's the end of that.

She does get stuff at charity shops sometimes to try out as she vastly prefers pre-washed, slightly worn things. Has a handful of interesting tops and lots of jewellery to go with the rotation of black leggings and the same exact trainers. Looking at the teenage girls around us I think I dodged a bullet in some ways!

Leave him to it. My autistic son loves a certain fuffy pair of pyjamas. Choose your battles with an autistic child.

I really don't see why different personal preferences should be a battle. Loads of men just don't care about clothes or fashion in the slightest.

How would you like it if he tried to shame you for caring so much about what you wear and being 'silly' and 'fashion-obsessed', when 'it's just clothes'?