Am I in the wrong for asking partner to make me a cup of tea ?

[luluxxx]

At the moment he has a job and I don’t.
It’s been a few months since my last job closed and I’m looking for something else.
We are no worse off financially and still go 50% on all house bills as I have savings.
I do all the housework now
I do all the cooking ,cleaning but as it’s now “my job” he does nothing.
He won’t make a cup of tea
He won’t feed the cats
He says “I have a job,you don’t”
He throws laundry on the floor

I made slow cooked chilli the other night and apparently according to him “that’s not making a meal,you have thrown stuff in a slow cooker”

Last night I had been out meeting a friend and my head was banging
I asked would he make a cup of tea for me,he said no.
I then snapped and said “you do nothing “
Now he replied “it’s your job “

I don’t have a job so I’m totally happy to do all housework as I’m home,he literally comes home to tea on the table.
I make weekend breakfasts /have the washing sorted .
Everything done.
I said that making your partner a cup of tea shouldn’t be decided because I don’t have a job.

He woke up this morning
Never spoke
Stupidly made a cup of tea for us both.
He said “I don’t want it as you throw it in my face,today our plans have changed I’m not taking you out for dinner “

So we aren’t going out now
I’m really upset actually
I only wanted a cup of tea

Anyway I poured it down the toilet

So was I wrong to ask for him to make me a cuppa because I don’t have a job ?
Also there was a few dishes in sink
While I was out I said could he wash them ..got back and he hadn’t done it.

No of course you aren’t in the wrong, he’s a gold star twatbadger.

You know the answer so why ask.

This isn't a nice relationship and I'm presuming you don't have kids but this is a taster of what things will be like if you do decide to have them. My DH has made me a cuppa every morning for the last 36 years!

Life is short, too short to put up with this nonsense. I'd bin him off, he sounds horrible.

Agree - do you really need to ask? Really?

Of course you aren’t.

What does this prince of men bring to your life

@SheilaFentiman is correct, he is a massive twatbadger. 😂

He doesn't love you. He actually seems to resent and despise you.

Explore your options for leaving this relationship OP.

He's being horrible. Do you want to stay with him?

I honestly don’t know if I am because I haven’t got a job ,he throws it in my face every day .

He doesn’t even like you.
Don’t waste your time with him.

Leave him, he sounds awful.

Your relationship is over, the sooner you leave the better.

Why do you ask? The answer is obvious.

Make it your (temporary) job to free yourself from his abusive twatbadgery.

If he lost his job, would you treat him like this? Leaving your clothes on the floor, telling him that slow cooker work isn’t cooking, not making him a brew, throwing it all in his face?

Nope. Because you aren’t a shitty git.

Why does he get to treat you like dirt when you are in a loving partnership?

These sorts of questions irrationally irritate me. You are being treated like a servant by your 'partner'. Whether you chose to accept this is up to you but you know how people are going to respond so what is the point in asking the question!

Why on earth are you with him?

There's the door, he knows the way out.

He is a horrible specimen isn’t he? Are you married? Do you rent? I would pack my stuff and leave, get a job and don’t look back.

Because it’s easy to get lost in the slow creep of emotional abuse. Trying to get a sense check from outside is often the first step.

This sounds like a difficult situation, and I can understand why it would feel upsetting. Household responsibilities can be shared in different ways, but small acts of kindness and consideration are important in a relationship regardless of who is currently employed. I hope the two of you are able to talk through it calmly.

Who on earth told him that should your partner lose their job you must become unpleasant to them?
He's showing you quite clearly what he's like, so how are you going to respond?

He doesn’t like you.
Imagine if you had a serious illness and could no longer work - what would he do then?

Life is too short for this type of life draining person.

Is he jealous because he’s in a job he hates?