'My ADHD brain'

[ForDucksSake]

I feel like I am hearing/reading this constantly now. It feels like the new anxiety. Why are people seemingly self-diagnosing themselves with ADHD now?

I work with children with autism and ADHD, so I know a fair bit about this disorder. It can be really difficult to manage for some people and it pisses me off that people I have known for years have suddenly decided that they have it because they did a fucking online quiz. It minimises the issues that some people who have ADHD really have.

A friend, who I have known for years announced last week that her 'ADHD brain' is the reason she forgets her purse every time we meet for lunch. When asked about this sudden diagnosis, she said that she had done a quiz and 'it all makes sense now'. I keep this online too, is it just me noticing this?

'When asked about this sudden diagnosis, she said that she had done a quiz and 'it all makes sense now'

Splendid. I wonder what strategies she is going to start testing to make sure that she DOESN'T leave her purse at home all the time from now on. Cheeky mare 🙄

YABU

I think it’s great more people are aware of ADHD but without a diagnosis I would roll my eyes at this friend.

I mean yes it's highly overused now, but i also think there's space to recognise that diagnosis and understanding has come a long way in recent years so it's very likely that there are many, particularly women, who do struggle and a diagnosis was missed previously. So the upsurge to me makes a lot of sense in that respect.

So do I. What I don't like is people self diagnosing and announcing that they have a condition that they know very little about. It makes a mockery of people who do actually have it. It's a much more complicated disorder than being a bit scatty and certainly cannot be diagnosed using 6 online questions.

It's no different from people who kept going on about their "OCD" just because they liked things neat and tidy, it will pass. You have problems with your friend, address them.

My therapist suggested neurodivergence to me this year after I started experiencing intense anxiety and panic. He took me through screening and referrals and yes it did contextualise a lot of my struggles and how I got to where I am now.

As a millenial woman with (gasp) anxiety and (boak) ADHD, I've become so aware of the stigma and attitudes like this and it genuinely stops people seeking diagnosis and support, especially at work.

Have you noticed either 1) how impossible it is to get a diagnosis on the NHS or 2) how expensive it is to get a private diagnosis?

I know this because I've just paid for DC to be privately assessed (99% dual ADHD profile) and prescribed medication which has made a 100% difference. Which just confirms what we already knew. Because both DC's father & I have ADHD (undiagnosed).

The logic is that it didn't come from nowhere. And no, I'm not paying 2.5K for my diagnosis because I've learned ways to deal with it. But it still doesn't mean I do not have it. And insisting that those without a diagnosis don't have ADHD ignores the difficulty of getting help.

My partner has a personality disorder and says that online fora who had once been useful are likewise being swarmed by people who have no idea about the conditions or even a diagnosis. It seems that people latch onto anything for attention.

I have ADHD and ASD.
I have a highly demanding career... its tough. Very tough, but probably more so when I'm not a work- work is structured.
Forgetting your purse doesn't mean you have ADHD.
If that's all it was I'd be well happy.
Its fucking crippling and affects every aspect of your life and relationships. How my husband hasn't left me is a miracle.
I'm glad there's more awareness but fuck this self diagnosis bollocks... it really diminishes what people actually go through

Its easy to be referred on the NHS... look into Right to Choose.

We are currently 18 months into the waiting list for DC. AND our GP doesn't accept shared care for RTC.

It riles me when people say they have it after 1 quiz online and then think it's something funny and quirky to have because they are a bit forgetful.

When you live with someone who has it (DH & 19yr DS have it. DH diagnosed when he was 29 and DS diagnosed when he was 10) it is absolutely not funny and quirky. It is exhausting, difficult and debilitating.

Well the purse isn’t the only reason it makes sense to her- it’s probably a trail of actions, thoughts, events and occurrences that led her to this and she found relief in something giving her a reason.

If you work with people who have diagnoses surely you must realise there’s gradients? And people who will never get diagnosed but are struggling to make sense of life?

Then your GP is on shaky ground... RtC is an NHS-procured service, not a random private provider.

Ps people say something or make a comment in real life or online- it’s a snippet, a sound bite, doesn’t mean they’re not actually struggling.

They may well be “struggling”. Life is hard and we all struggle. That is not ADHD tho.

Let’s say that all runners in a race struggle, with breathlessness, aches, moments of doubt etc. The runners with one leg are going to “struggle” in a completely different way. That’s ADHD. And if you’ve never had to run in a race designed for bipeds while only having one leg yourself, you simply have no idea what it’s like.

She may well be.
But it might not be ADHD.
Actually seeking assessment rather than pronouncing a diagnosis would be helpful to her, and to everyone else who actually has a diagnosis that they coping with.

I have had lifelong anxiety because of being neglected and abused as a child, and I have had people (including counsellors!) telling me how over diagnosed it is and how I’m probably just “pathologising normal emotions” etc.
I was under a psychiatrist for eighteen years including as an in patient! I think they would know better than people who think just because they hear about something a lot, it only exists when they say it does. You cannot know (especially if you have zero qualifications or actual knowledge) who does and doesn’t have these things or how common it really is.

I was diagnosed as an adult because of typical female presentation having been missed when I was a kid. Before the current trend emerged.

I find it debilitating but only those closest to me actually know that I have it. I spend much of my life desperately pretending that I don't!

So I agree that the flippant comments from people who have done a short online quiz are unwelcome. ADHD is not just being a bit disorganised, and people making comments like this trivialise the experience of people who actually struggle with the condition on a day to day basis.

Attitudes like what? Like not wanting people who have never even mentioned them potentially having ADHD, never mind actually seek help or advice on it, self diagnose from the internet? How does this actually help? It merely makes a mockery of it.

Right to choose isn’t an option for everyone unfortunately.

I was diagnosed a few months ago and I have struggled my entire life, I also have autism diagnosed. It really winds me up when people say this and they’re not diagnosed and absolutely not neurodivergent.

This is my point exactly. Talking about her 'ADHD brain' with a tinkly laugh and 'what am I like?' attitude is what pisses me off. Next week it'll be something else.

I am clearly not explaining myself well, as some posters are thinking I am stigmatising and I very much am not. I think it so important that people with ADHD (or anything else for that matter) get help and support as needed. That's not going to happen when people are self diagnosing from an internet quiz, because then people stop taking it seriously.

Exactly this!

My son was diagnosed by a psychiatrist when he was 15 on the NHS after struggling for years. He also has hyper mobility and had issues with urinary continence which it turns out is common with ADHD. He’s not ashamed of his diagnosis but he NEVER tells anyone or uses it as an excuse. Nobody at work knows.