Tips for teaching teen to drive?

[Elephantsarenottheonlyfruit]

My DS has been having professional driving lessons and has reached the stage he is almost ready for test. I’d like to take him out to get some practice. Does anyone having tips on teaching teens to drive, test tips (it’s a long time since I sat mine and the things they test have changed now - like following sat nav!?!) or any pointers on insurance? We have bought a group 1 run around for him. Collecting it tomorrow!

I took mine out first, car parks and then just easy routes at quiet times. The hard stuff he does first with an instructor & then we practice. I put the passenger seat back as far as it goes and try to breathe through his rasher decisions, then talk calmly after, but sometimes I do squeal. It’s very stressful but i feel proud and happy to be able to support him: we can’t afford entirely paid lessons. My parents didn’t support me in this way.

Instructors can take them on motorways now. But otherwise, I agree.

I agree with all those saying 'Don't do it'. It's a recipe for disaster. You will fall out and they will argue with you about anything you say, claiming that their instructor has told them something different.

DS only had instructor lessons because it was a ridiculous price to add him to our insurance - I'm talking roughly £5,000 extra - because we had a large car and I wasn't prepared to fork out that amount to let him drive my vehicle.

He passed fine and then bought himself a small cheap car that he could afford to insure once he was working.

Find the person who is most calm and least argumentative with the child. I did the driving practice with my step son because neither parent would have been relaxed and neither would he. After a tense first session where he politely asked me to stop clenching and gripping the door handle we relaxed into it and I was impressed by how grown up he was when doing something he really loved and wanted to excel at. The lessons improved his driving and it was a special time for us doing an important thing together.

@Hatty65 you can get pay as you go insurance these days, so no need to pay a fortune to add them, they just buy insurance for the hour or two they need.

I took my DD out initially, so she could start and stop, get into 2nd gear etc. Then she had lessons, but practiced as much as possible. I think once they are fairly competent, try to keep your mouth shut and try not to jump or grab the door handle too much 🙈 Easier said than done sometimes. If you can’t stay calm don’t do it, but I think they do need the practice.

"I took both mine out for many many hours each. I didn't try to teach them anything though, just let them practise what they had learnt in lessons." Same approach here and then after a while showed some useful local routes like big Sainsburys. It went well alongside private lessons.

It shouldn't cost stupid money to insure your teen on your car. I think it cost me about £250.
My teens instructor actually got me to go out with them after he'd had two months of 2hr lesson so I could see he was a sensible driver with good car control.
I used to take him to a empty business park on Sunday afternoons and we'd do loops around it. Once he got used to my car we went to a quiet residential area so he could practice lots of junctions and reversing in dead ends. Next stage was the empty ring road at 7:30 on Saturday mornings. I kept it simple.

I have two DC and very different experiences. Really it’s down to personality.

First one - once the instructor said my DC was ready to practice, I was the passenger whilst they drove around. I didn’t give any advice or instruction just asked that they narrated what they were doing. That way I didn’t have to worry if they had seen the cyclist or whatever, because they were telling me. I took a travel mug of tea so they knew I was drinking something hot that couldn’t be spilt!

My other DC ignored everything I said and I have told them no more driving practice with me! Our relationship is more important than whether they can drive.

DH taught me to drive, for various reasons and its honestly the closest we've ever come to divorce. It is very stressful for both when its a family member. If you are wanting to give advice, make sure you (both) watch the various driving instructors on youtube, to get up to date info and tips re what to do and what to look for.
Go out with a plan that you're both aware of, is he just driving around and you're getting involved if something is dangerous? Or are you wanting to get more involved etc, like make sure both of you are on the same page, makes it a lot easier.

You can use insurance like veygo etc, to basically do pay as you go blocks.

Actual learner insurance costs nothing like that. When they pass their test fair enough but learner insurance is much cheaper.

My mother took me out for practice.
Mother was by far the better driver of the two.
Mum would tell me something before it happened but
Dad would expect me to know things then berate me for not knowing.

There’s loads of instructors on tiktok who give surprisingly good advice and they film scenarios too. Get him to watch that along side driving as much as he can with you

I took my first DC out for practise at the weekends and alongside the private lesson in the week. It worked well. Now I'm taking DC2 out. We do 2-3 hours at the weekend and a 2 hr private lesson during the week. No fights, no squabbles, just repetition of skills learnt in the lesson.

DS failed his test first time round due to a silly mistake, so for two weeks before his second test I took him out to work on the mistake he'd made (not checking his speed). He was a competent driver, declared fit to take his test by his instructor. He just needed to get road time. Patience and calm is all that is needed and some little pointers, checking they have seen things for example. If they are ready to take their test, they should pretty much know what they are doing.
He passed on his second attempt and the same week went straight out on his own. At least, having been out with him, I know he is a good driver and observant.

My top tip is to have something you can grip! A cuddly toy is ideal. Like a stress reliever because it is scary but they will massively benefit from the practice.

Nothing wrong with taking them out for extra practice but don’t try to teach or criticise unless they are actually causing a hazard as they do things a certain way to pass the test and it certainly isn’t the way I’d necessarily do them . Just sit and let them get on with it .

Thank fuck I never had this problem. DS wanted manual license I only have an automatic one and though his father did offer the fact that he is blind kind of put a stop to that 😁 I am 100% sure that DS and I may have killed one another if I tried to teach him to drive

I had bruises under my legs as I sat on my hands and pinched hard - when I really wanted to cling on to the door.
i think you have to be very honest about your personality, that of your young adult dc, and your own anxiety levels.
my dc is quite snappy and doesn’t like to be told things. I feel a bit anxious when not in control of a situation. I did take her out several times and it did help, but I didn’t enjoy it.
dc2 is less motivated to learn and is having a break from it plus she’ll be living in central London so no point unless she is really keen. Her temperament and relationship with me would make it easier than it was with dc1 but ngl I feel relieved!

Learners tend to benefit from private practice- in addition to their lessons with an instructor. If it's done the right way.
Both of my dc's instructors actually advised them to get out on the roads to practice between their lessons .
I was nervous of the responsibility, so we went at quiet times( 8am on a Sunday morning etc) to start with. We never argued and both dc would pester me to take them out driving. So I clearly didn't do or say anything to knock their confidence. .
I think you have to have the right temperament though.

This is the way to do it. Don't any actual teaching, unless there is a serious issue - that is what you are paying the instructor for! But practice is different. It is nerve wracking but if you hold your nerve then it can be a great benefit.

We started practising in mine when DD's instructor said she was ready to do that.

I didn't teach. Not at all. I was just there to facilitate practice. We did the routes she's most likely to drive round our way and some stuff further afield - she had learner insurance on my car. All I ever told her was to do things the way her instructor taught her. I was acting satnav and that was all.

She passed first time. She has the car tonight, I'm happy to do that because she is quite simply a good, solid driver.

Thanks everyone. Good tips especially about observing a lesson and having something to grip! Also appreciate the info on the pay as you insurance. Thank you!

We sat in with ours after they had a number of lessons with their instructor just so they could practice.
We learnt so long ago that we didn’t tell them what to do as all different now and we have bad habits, only thing I said was to keep left a bit more when we were on a road with no line markings.
Honestly most of the time I was terrified although apparently I didn’t show it. I wouldn’t want to do it again although both have been driving for 10 and 8 years now and am happy to be given a lift now!
Good Luck.

Same. They both took 3 goes to pass, after masses of lessons, but by the time they passed I did think they were sufficiently competent - they’d had so much practice.