Am I too strict? Please judge my parenting!

[Judgemyparenting]

I’m on a camping holiday, it’s a fairly posh sort of place for families who I’d say are probably middle class and left-leaning.

It’s our first night and our children (3 and 7) got to stay up late (8pm bedtime instead of 7) and we’re completely wild from the excitement and the travel. By 9 pm they were still rolling about giggling and joking with each other and DH and I raised our voices and told them to stop (after giving several smaller milder warnings earlier) and ended up pulling 7 yo to a different part of the tent.

I hear other parents up with their crying children until nearly 10pm, laughing and making jokes and I wonder if perhaps we are too strict. I do feel like I want and need to control my 7 yo, he is a lot of work lately and is a boundary seeker/pusher, but I don’t know how to approach that very well.

Too strict IMO. Kids absolutely thrive on routine at home and sleep is part of that but when the routine no longer exists I don't see the point in pursuing the sleep side of it. I'd let them stay up until they are too tired.. if they can't sleep in and are exhausted the next day they can nap. If they can't nap and are acting out and difficult from exhaustion then that can be dealt with as needed.

“Posh sort of place for families who I’d say are probably middle class and left leaning” …. and in your case a bit of a twit 🤣

Perhaps expecting a kid of 7 to go to bed at the same time as a 3 year-old is a bit much, especially on holiday.

Yeah you need to loosen up. It’s still daylight til 10pm, noise and other kids playing til that kind of time when camping. You’re just making things hard for yourself, and it going to be hard keeping them quiet when they wake up first thing too, or you’ll be rousing the whole site at 6.30am, which no one will thank you for.

My kids turned feral when ever we went camping.

I assume if she is left wing middle class she is a lower middle class like teacher/nurse rather than upper middle class like doctors, barristers, investment banker who would be right wing usually. I mean it goes without saying that if you actually use the word ‘posh’ then you aren’t! Also, people who are actually ‘posh’ as you. All it don’t camp! It’s more like 5* hollibobs.

but not entirely sure what that has got to do with camping, kids’ bedtimes and how strict the parenting is…

I don’t think you’re necessarily too strict, but maybe a bit misguided. They’re on the first day of their holiday so are going to be really excited. I think I’d have let them stay up pretty late tonight so they just dropped once they were put to bed. It’s still very light and warm at 8pm. That was never going to end well. We’re pretty strict, but are much more relaxed about things like bedtime and food on holiday.

OP, I think on campsites there is usually a time where everyone goes to bed and it falls silent. I think trying to get children to bed before this time is likely to be unsuccessful. If there are other children running around it will be very hard for your to feel anything other than that they are missing out on the fun because they probably are. Plus it's your holiday too and spending it telling children to be quiet isn't much fun.

I know when you have views about bedtime it can be really hard to relax these rules but give it a go. Get them in pyjamas with teeth cleaned for the time the campsite goes to bed and they will most probably fall asleep magically then. Also, there is nothing less relaxing for your neighbours whose kids are still racing around than listening to you issuing dire warnings about what will happen if the kids don't go to sleep. They will be tired at points and they might both catch a nap when you wouldn't expect it, but I think putting them to bed at 8 will be leaning on a rather closed door. It isn't as though they have school the next day, is it?

I don't think how people are politically impacts when they send their children to bed and how strict they are about it.
I think it really depends on the children. I have a friend whose children can't stay up much later than their normal bed time or they'll have no energy the next day. I also have a friend with a 4 year old who can stay up really late and be fine the next day.

Strict and judgemental.

you are fighting a losing battle to try and gets kids asleep when it is bright outside and their is noise from others. On camping holidays we all go to bed together later.

But I’m left leaning so you might disregard that advice

Well my mother smacked me with a plastic spatula camping. My db and I were joking around pretending we were cave men, picking up streak with our hands and tearing at it with our teeth while grunting and talking in growly voices "This good meat".
Whack!
Don't be my mother.

Oh in answer to your question, I used to say they could stay awake with flashlights if they were quiet. We were all generally tired after playing on beach and hiking.

I’m on a camping holiday, it’s a fairly posh sort of place for families who I’d say are probably middle class and left-leaning.

What the actual fuck are you talking about?

As to your question: yes, you are being far too strict and also absolutely miserable. Loosen up for god sake and let the kids be kids.

This whole situation would probably depend on how burnt out I feel after a day of travelling and setting up on a camp site. More energy= later bedtimes for all. I can only look after my kids well if I have energy to burn .

I would say though, a usual 7pm bedtime for a 7 yo seems very early to me. But again, we all have different routines.

I took my 7 year old camping a few weeks ago and she was happily playing with some other kids from another tent until 10:30pm. She was enjoying herself and it's a holiday so why not? I think you should loosen up a bit.

I loved Eweleze!! Such fond memories of our two there when they were young 🥰.

Let them stay up a bit later tonight, OP. Summer evenings on a campsite are wonderful times to play out!

I don't think it would have hurt them staying up a little later. It's all new and exciting! Have a great time.

I really don’t think bedtime is really an issue of how strict someone is. I think of strictness is about your behavioural boundaries, rules and how you deal with them being followed or not. Bedtime is about how tired your child and what they need to sleep well - it’s very individual.