Do you think discussing money is rude?

[PotteringAboutIn]

A certain friend asks alot of questions regarding money
Such as how are you finding it financially supporting your children through uni

How much was your extension

Personally I think it's a it rude as I wouldn't ask that

I think asking people things like how much their extension was or how they're finding funding children through university, how much their new kitchen cost etc is really rude. Same as asking how much they earn or how much they have in savings, just really rude and crass.

I echo the feelings of a partner where I used to work saying that talking about the nitty gritty of money is just so vulgar.

Happy to talk about interest rates, where to invest, general stuff, but on an individual basis, no, don't ask.

Depends - if its "I love your new windows,, Id really like similar! Where is it from? Are you happy with it? Would you mind giving me a rough figure for a middle sized one?"... I can see its not rude, but I couldnt ask.

As often happens first post nails it.
Mutual discussion is fine, can even be a good thing (salary transparency can be particularly beneficial in relation to women being paid less than male counterparts for example) but asking intrusive questions is rude.

I don’t mind sharing my financial situation at all. To be honest, I think we’re making this a bit more mysterious than it needs to be.
The more secretive we are about costs, the more questions people are going to ask. Just tell them straight an extension like this usually costs between X and Y.

By who?

For me, it’s monumentally dull, rather than ‘rude’.

Personally no, I don’t find it rude at all.

However, I know most people disagree with me
do I don’t mention it unless asked.

Rude is asking how much someone earns or how much they have in savings. Your 2 examples are not rude, unless it comes from a place of straight up nosiness.

I remember when my (autistic, possibly relevant) child would blurt everybody's business including her own, when nobody had asked. I taught her that talking about how much money you had was rude. She was just starting to understand money.
Months later I was having a chat with an adult friend and we were discussing money (can't remember what, might have been entrance fees to an attraction).
My daughter said "were you being rude with x" and I didn't know what she meant - you told me it was rude to talk about money! It was quite hard to explain what constitutes rude, also that the sort of rude involved in talking about money in a different kind of rude to insulting someone!
I think I'm going with if it is idle curiosity you could be being rude, if you have a genuine reason you are probably OK with people you have a trusting relationship with.

Tricky. I have friendship groups where other people have a lot, lot more money than me. Sometimes I do ask how much something cost because I genuinely don’t know. And when people are rolling their eyes and saying how expensive XYZ is without mentioning numbers, I sometimes ask just to know what ‘expensive’ is to them.

i suppose it’s one reason why friends tend to have similar incomes - these conversations are easier when everyone kind of knows the numbers without having to spell them out.

This wouldn’t bother me at all, I’ve never really got the sensitivity round money at this level. It’s not like she asked to see your bank statement,

Talking about mortgage and interest rates, the economy, the price of eggs that sort of stuff is fine. Asking personal financial information is just not on at all. I had a friend I met through voluntary work, we did a lot of research together and grant applications. She lived very close to me and we started to socialise, Our husbands met and we all met up for dinner a couple of times.

She became very nosey about finances, I found it intrusive. It came to a head when I retired early at 54. It is young to retire and she just wanted to know how much money I had. It culminated when a very large house came up for sale near us. It is gorgeous, She said, you could afford that. I just said I wouldn't need a house that big, she pressed further it was wanting to know if I could buy it so was a way of working out how well off I was. I distanced myself from her as I found it all very grating, she was similar to me, poor background done good.

It depends on the circumstances. A friend asked us how much - roughly - we paid for our loft conversion as they were wondering if their plans are worth the extra money compared to the smaller set up we have. That's a normal question between friends.

They didn't ask how we financed it neither did we asked them.

I know from general conversations who is able to fund their children's university instead of having the students take out loans. We talk about how much a weekly budget apprx is and moan about the costs of student halls.

I don't ask how one family is financing their fairly luxury holidays. I asked for recommendation which travel agency they used for our own trip though.

We had a proper conversation with my in-laws about their finances as they wanted us to be aware that they have funds for retirement and any care they may require.

DH and I share our money have joint discussions about our investments with our advisor. Anything else I would not entertain.

Pretty much this.

I can remember when it certainly wasn’t ‘done’ to ask a new neighbour how much they paid for their house - well before anything like Nethouseprices.

I was so startled when a new neighbour once asked me how much we’d paid for ours - it was SO not done! - I told him. This was in the late 80s though. Prices had shot up during the year after we bought ours, so he’d paid rather more for a smaller house - I don’t think he’s ever quite forgiven us!

Nowadays of course dh will be the first to have a good old nose on Nethouseprices to see what any neighbour’s house actually sold for.

When we lived in Cyprus (a long time ago) people who’d only just met you thought nothing of asking how much you earned, how much you paid for this or that. I never did get used to it.