If you are good at hosting barbecues, what’s your secret?

[MouldEight]

I like hosting for people and I’ve got a built in brick barbecue so feel I should use it. But I’m just not good at it. I struggle to get the timings right for the barbecue whilst trying to be a good host to everyone.

If you are one of these people who hosts barbecues looking lovely and put together whilst serving up lovely tasting food which is all timed right, what’s your secret? All advice appreciated.

Ah no, they’ve never complained, they’ve just said how much they’ve enjoyed the barbecues.

I suppose that’s the main thing so I should worry less about it all looking easy and stress free.

How big are the BBQs? I've hosted some for large groups (multiple families). I didn't really have to do that much. I provide drinks on a table for people to help themselves to. Every family brings a plate of food to share (sides or dessert). I provide the meat. Sides are put on a larger table. The menfolk cook the meat. That is put on the table with the sides and then everyone approaches it buffet style when it's time to eat.

As far as entertainment, people talk to each other, socialise, the kids play together. All I have to do is make sure there are things like balls available. We have a swimming pool and I just open that up, which the families love.

All this makes for an easy BBQ with little demands.

Just ask a couple of your friends to be in charge of the BBQ whist chatting. Generally a BBQ is a relaxed way of hosting ! A few burnt burgers and sausages are not going to be a big deal !

My secret- I have taught DH how to do bbq! I only do salads (in advance), table dressing and drinks.
OP, cooking thermometer is a must for beginners.

When my friend got married she had a BBQ at home. Salads and extras all prepared beforehand, and lots of BBQ food ready in fridge. She put a blackboard up with a chart with half hourly intervals and asked guests to sign up to be cook for half an hour. It worked brilliantly - people really enjoyed doing their bit, and the bride and groom were able to circulate and host.
Could work for you?

Not big. No children. Between 10 and 15 I would say.

It isn’t a couples barbecue, although there will be a couples there (but not my DP) so the men doing the cooking doesn’t work, but that sounds like a good set up.

I will have to trade DP in for someone who enjoys cooking, barbecues and socialising with my friends 😅.

I think you’re trying to cook too many different things. It’s going to be really stressful timing it all - drumsticks, chicken kebabs, sausages, burgers, halloumi, steak and baked potatoes all needing cooking?

Keep it way simpler with the stuff. And if your bbq would work for it, larger pieces of meat to cut up and share out?

We did this marinated butterflied lamb leg the other day and it was all in the prep. On the bbq it basically just sits there, gets ignored for a bit, turned over, ignored again, then time to eat. And it was amazing.
https://www.recipetineats.com/greek-butterflied-lamb-leg/

Or spatchcock chicken - there are usually ones for sale in supermarkets or it’s not hard to prep. Use a meat thermometer to check when it’s done. Probably best with bbq with a lid though.

If that doesn’t appeal, get loads of sausages but maybe just different types. Cook a big pile of them, everyone gets eating, then maybe one round of steaks later on. Set up the drinks bucket right next to the bbq so people naturally come over to where you are so you’re not flitting around. Max 2 types of meat and nothing inside being cooked in the oven.

I read an article many years ago that said have three things maximum but absolutely shitloads of your three things.

Halloumi is one, choose between chicken or kebab, choose between sausages or burgers. Don’t do steak - too much faffing because they all have to be cooked differently. Potatoes done one way, a coleslaw and a tomato based thing.

We are from Australia. In our friendship group what tends to happen is the host asks each couple ie (me invite & ask the lady to bring something eg salad, dessert). They always offer so it isnt a big deal. We buy the meat from our local butcher. On BBQ day all sides, pudding are sorted as I have asked everyone to bring one. I deal with drinks, DH & the other men cook the meat. A couple fancy themselves as steak experts so between the lot of them they manage to do a good job while us ladies sit back, drink & commentate. Our jobs are already done. Great fun, slightly biased as an Aussie, great food and you bond with people perhaps you didn't know so well when you are both on loading dishwasher duties. Use a good butcher all will be well. Do check noone has any food weirdness, noone in our circle do.

Oh my Lord I recently went to a lunch for a high end car company, the list of dietary's was insane and nonsensical eg Vegan, but drinks milk. I was trying to sneak a look at the events persons sheet on us.

Have a fantastic time

1. Big slab of meat, leg of lamb or a couple of spatchcock chickens. Then you don’t have to slave over the bbq.
2. par-cook in the oven before hand to take the stress out of timings and worrying if cooked
3. Get the drinks flowing so no one cares, big jugs of Pimm’s always a winner

1 word, 2 sillyaballs - flamecontrol

It’s just a small thing, but a bowl of soapy water, soap and a towel, for handwashing alongside the bbq is always a good idea.

Yes it’s physically not possible to cook and mingle simultaneously. You’ll need to prioritise and stop trying to do everything.

I get the slow cooker out on an extension cable on a table next to the BBQ and put it on a low setting. Then I can transfer meat there when it is ready (I use a meat thermometer to be on safe side) to rest and stay warm and guests just help themselves from it. That means you never need to worry about food being overcooked / going cold/ ready before people want it, and it doesn't dry out like it might in the oven. People come to me to chat, around the BBQ is normally the hub for chatting.

I do all bbq in my house, my DH can’t cook and if he did it it would be burgers that are black outside and frozen in the middle.

i keep it simple. I make a home made coleslaw, and either a pasta/pot salad or fresh mixed leaf salad with toms and cuc. I don’t dress it, I put the dressing in a bottle and it all stays in the fridge until ready to serve. I pre cook my meat from defrosted the day before on a low heat so it’s got very little colour. Fridge it. Then I finish it on the charcoal bbq so it’s fully heated through and got decent char lines. I keep a spray bottle of apple juice next to the grill to spray the food and help retain moisture. Also adds lovely caramelisation. Don’t go TOO MUCH for food, especially meat. I do a mix of decent but plain burgers and flavoured sausages so people can choose. Chicken thighs I tend to favour honey and mustard. I’ll often do mango and coconut prawn skewers. Occasionally a whole shoulder of lamb but that’s much more effort. But I also do veg. Pepper/tom/onion skewers, raw cauliflower sliced like steak and brushed in olive oil and rubbed with curry powder is always popular once people have tried it. It’s an unexpected hit and regular visitors actually request it. But ultimately it’s about staggering the serving and not providing a giant mound of food all at once.

Yuk at pre-cooking meat

Also, why do women always let men barbecue. I barbecue all year round- my top tip is just put the meat on shut the lid and go away for a little bit. When you can smell it, it's ready

I wouldn’t over formalise it, as the point of a barbecue is relaxed outdoor dining. I would think plenty of shade for people’s comfort matters at the moment. The worst barbecue I went to was one in Islington where lots of caviar was served on tiny crackers.The funniest was one where the host DH accidentally set fire to the fence-although luckily it wasn’t this hot, weather wise.

Don't do sausages and burgers if you can help it. They are notoriously difficult and burn easily especially on charcoal BBQs.
Think about precooking if you are doing lots of food and then finishing off on the BBQ. (Making sure you are conscious of food safety when doing this).
Use lots of tin foil to avoid burning everything to a char.
It's all about the extras that go with the BBQ not the BBQ itself.
It's 90% prep and 10% BBQ
The extras mean everyone can gradually graze whilst waiting for the main event so timings aren't relevant.

It shouldn't be a lot of effort. Buy stuff to cook on BBQ and drinks. Make salads. Put out serving things and salads, DH cooks food, I drink wine and talk to friends.

Because he wants to and I hate it? Oh yes, please, please let me take over another task from DH because I have so little to do in life, and would so love to cook instead of chatting with my friends and drinking wine.

This.

But with additional advice on the basis you are on your own. And based on growing up in a big BBQ culture (non UK) that BBQ pretty constantly during the summer. Once you get your head around the fact it is just a meal outdoors, it is a game changer and much easier than putting pressure on yourself to do "something different".

First don't over complicate it. Cook a few things very well. We rarely do sausages and a burgers on the grill. We tend to do big joints, steaks, fish and kebabs (not all at once) and keep it to no more than two different meats/fish plus a veggie option at any one time. Anything you can marinate in advance and nothing that takes prep once the guests have arrived so all you have to do is cook it. Also don't feel bad about mixing up precooked/oven baked food with BBQ food. A good BBQ cook book is a god send for beginners.

Vegetarian BBQ - Haloumi is your friend here. But hassleback it and marinade it. Otherwise it falls to pieces on the BBQ. Corn on the cob is also easy. Jacket potatoes, started in the oven, in foil, finished off on the BBQ.

Second. Focus on sides. Most UK based BBQs tend to have the sides as an add on and they end up a bit limp and underwhelming. 2 to 3 really cracking sides, plus fresh bread elevate a BBQ beyond normal. Find a few really effective tried and tested salads, don't be afraid to mix a match curry, rice, carribean, Mediterranean dishes. Also don't feel bad about serving something like chilli alongside main BBQ meats.

Third, Keep desserts simple or get your guests to bring them.

Fourth, consider decent disposable/environmentally friendly tableware. Or make sure your guests help tidy up.

Finally, Have a couple of camping tables you can put up to help with managing worktop space around the BBQ. And grill pans can help manage things like fish and kebabs on the BBQ too.

And if you hate BBQ ing, just do a lovely outside meal/buffet. People just love eating outside with friends. The food - as long as it is good and plentfiul - really doesn't matter.

From oven to barbecue.

Salads and sides set up on the dining table.

We only ever cook right through on the barbecue if it's just family.