Advice on supporting your partners mental health recovery.

[Alwaysstressed12]

I am looking for advice or personal experience on how to support a partner when they have experienced moderate burnout.

It early days and things seem to have settled down. I am still on edge at times as I am waiting for things to slip back to the old ways. I am keen to talk things through and get some answers about certain behaviours I was at the raw end of before things came to light. Assume it's too early.

From reading online, it's something that takes time and having a supportive partner helps. It seems there are no quick fixes.

I'm just keen to read of others experiences supporting a partner through this situation.

OP I have had episode of depression throughout my life and three years ago I had a complete physical and mental breakdown to the point of needing to be under the care of the mental health crisis team for several weeks.

However, I have never used my mental health as an excuse for being horrible to anyone or blaming them for my condition.

Just the opposite in fact, I was incredibly grateful for the support I got from healthcare professionals and friends.

My point is your partner's burnout is no excuse for him treating you poorly.

I would consider leaving this relationship if the behaviour were to continue.

Also, I always have been conscious that it is my responsibility to take steps to get better including taking medication, going on the waiting list for counselling and so on.

Your partner is signed off work which makes sense but he also need to look at a long term plan to improve his situation which likely should include anti-depressants and finding ways to help manage his stress/anxiety/moods.

I see your point.

He has taken responsibility for his behaviour, but has said at the time he just couldn't understand the situation. He is grateful for me standing by him.

Trust me, if things return to how they were and he refuses to take any accountability I'm gone. I'm kept all the things I had ready to go in case things don't improve. That's not to say I want that to happen. My wish is for us to overcome this and move forward.

I am sorry this is happening to you,

Went through something similar with my dh, the support from the counsellor was vital to understanding why the crisis occured, building resilience and ultimately managing his return to work.

We also engaged with the union, as we felt processes had not been supportive and there had been many discussions about workload prior to the breakdown.

Eventually he walked away from his job and he is currently weighing up his options but it ok a collective approach to be able to move forward.