Was I wrong to mention a colleague's visible period stain?

[StephE]

Last week, I noticed that my colleague had a blood stain on her backside. It was very obvious that her period had either started unexpectedly or she had leaked through protection. This was not what I would categorise as a small stain. As soon as I realised that she was unaware and was going to keep walking around like that, I simply told her that she has a stain. I did not even utter the words blood or period. Ever since, she has been trying to avoid me as much as she can, and I can tell she's upset that I said it in front of our other colleagues. Because we're nurses, I really did not think it was a big deal. We all have an understanding of the human body and its functions. She is considerably younger so that may be it. I have considered apologising but do not want to make the work atmosphere more tense. Was I wrong to say anything?

PP are responded to the fact that she said it in front of other colleagues, not the fact that she said it.

You should have told her discretely.

You were right to say something but wrong to embarrass her in front of others.

You should have told her discretely. The fact you’re all nurses is irrelevant, it was unkind to tell her in front of everyone.

Personally, I would think it is so blatantly obvious that someone would rather be taken aside to have a quiet word than have their period pointed out in front of other people that I could only assume you purposely wanted to cause embarrassment. That may not have been your intention but it's how it comes across.

There's just no need to have said it within earshot of others, everyone should be afforded some dignity so I'd avoid you too!

Regardless of how young she is, she’s still an adult. Grown adults are far too sensitive and easily embarrassed. It’s a period FFS. Are we in primary school still?

Good grief, I’ve met some insensitive nurses in my time; maybe you are one of them ?

Hey Steph, just so everyone knows, you’ve got a stain down your arse!

And she’d be right!

Oh god why say it in front of other people. Yes they probably all noticed too but it just makes it so much more humiliating to have an audience when you’re told. You were right to point it out, wrong not to do it privately

Crikey, how awful for saying it in front of others like you did.

You should have been discrete . It may not have been a period , she may have be/been pregnant.

Not enough context.

Did you pull her discreetly aside? Because I'm still grateful to the woman who did that for me years ago in a bus station.

Did you say it in front of colleagues? If so, are you regularly blunt and indescreet?

Disgusting of you! Don't try to kid us you were doing a kind thing, if you did you would have made sure she is the only one hearing it. What you did was to draw everyone's attention t it, very very mean and spiteful. How do you think this made her feel? How would you feel if someone did that to you? Nasty!

Pretty mean to say it in front of others, she’s been embarrassed, would have been embarrassing still for her but kind to have told her 1-2-1, doing it in front of a group isn’t nice

I'm assuming you missed the part where she said it in front of other colleagues...

You were absolutely right to tell her, you weren’t right to tell her in front of people. And I’m a nurse!!

You cannot be serious you said it in front of other colleagues rather just having quiet word. Are you mad? Nurse or not I cannot imagine anyone would do this by an accident.

she is avoiding you because she assumes you were trying to nasty. Which is what anyone else would think. Because that’s the only reason another woman do that so publicly.

even when I was a teen and it happened to a teacher I quietly told her to the side, because I have a brain and empathy larger than a peanut.

Apologies, I misread. You were being a nasty cow and I hope menopause is behind you because otherwise karma might bite you in the arse.

I wouldn’t be bothered if somebody pulled me to the side and told me. However, pointing it out in front of colleagues would really upset me.

Is this just yet another thinly veiled dig at the younger generation though? It seems to be the done thing at the moment. We can criticise the young folk for being pathetic, non-resilient, weak, selfish little “snowflakes”, but God forbid they point out that older women like to wear floral dresses…

First post nails it as usual.

I think the situation matters too, on a ward round in front of mixed ages and male and female staff is a lot worse than in front of one other female colleague in the staff room.

You probably made yourself look mean. I think you owe her an apology.

I work in a supermarket, and one day I was in the self service till area, I realised / noticed that a customer had had a leak.

I very discreetly spoke to her - having stood behind her to shield her from the other customers the best I could and said along the lines of ' I am sorry to say this but I think you may have had a little accident / are you on your period ?

Yes she was embarrassed but also thankful that I had come over to let her know.

Luckily she had a jumper over her shoulder and she was able to tie it around her waist instead.

All sorted - discreetly / privately.

Who would say that in front of other people, apart from a bully?

This just has to be a reverse

You beat me by a whisker.

I’m assuming other people saw and didn’t say anything, if the stain was largish it had been there at least a few minutes. Surely the OP did the right thing by saying something quickly. Trying to discreetly take someone to one side would have prolonged the situation.

Sounds like the OP was the only one who said anything, I can’t see why she is the bully when she did something while others just turned away.