Was I wrong to mention a colleague's visible period stain?

[StephE]

Last week, I noticed that my colleague had a blood stain on her backside. It was very obvious that her period had either started unexpectedly or she had leaked through protection. This was not what I would categorise as a small stain. As soon as I realised that she was unaware and was going to keep walking around like that, I simply told her that she has a stain. I did not even utter the words blood or period. Ever since, she has been trying to avoid me as much as she can, and I can tell she's upset that I said it in front of our other colleagues. Because we're nurses, I really did not think it was a big deal. We all have an understanding of the human body and its functions. She is considerably younger so that may be it. I have considered apologising but do not want to make the work atmosphere more tense. Was I wrong to say anything?

A minefield? There are just two choices, tell someone privately or embarrass her in front of several other people. There are no hidden 'mines'.

I’d have taken her aside and pointed it out. That’s helpful. Doing it in front of others looks like you might have been out to embarrass her rather than help (it doesn’t seem to have been your intention though).

But the ‘several other people’ will, assuming not visually impaired, also have seen the period stain. It’s not something you have to be up close or looking carefully to see like a bogie or spinach in your teeth.

As I’ve said I wouldn’t want a private chat - I find the embarrassment around periods embarrassing. Just say it out loud, no need for the pussyfooting.

What other people msy or may not have seen is completely irrelevant - it's the woman in question and her feelings, privacy and dignity who should be centred. If she then wants to make a joke about it to the wider group then that's her choice alone.

I'm a nurse too, so I totally get the nom fussedness of it all. In my office we would have openly mentioned it and wouldn't have thought twice about it. Maybe because she was young she was more embarrassed about it. I think you did the right thing, why do we try to hide things like this ? Particularly in a healthcare environment. It'll be forgotten about soon don't worry.

We hide it because we centre the feelings of others, of course. As a nurse you should know this.

I've told women before that there is a stain but discreetly because although we are all women etc and its a normal part of life, drawing attention to a stain or leak can be embarassing for lots of women. Some women are twisted and point things out in front of other people for kicks too so maybe she thinks you did it out of nastiness. Apologise discreetly and say you hope you didn't make her feel awkward but you felt she should know.