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I’m talking to my own partner on a dating app.

367 replies

Ahitsteatime · 16/04/2026 22:03

Currently 20 weeks pregnant, partner had taken it badly. Stropping around, not sure he wanted the baby then he did, making mistakes at work saying he was depressed. This is our first and was an accident. After weeks of him being up or down, I checked his phone. Mainly because I was worried he had been searching suicide methods or something. But no, I found a dating app.

He didn’t really have many chats about three and they were flirty and sort of sexual. I felt more annoyed than upset. I stupidly then decided to make an account, I don’t know why. I guess I wanted to see it for myself and control the narrative.

Used random photos off Reddit and he matched with me and I’ve been messaging him across the room. He’s told a ton of lies, single obviously, lives alone, new job, used older pictures😂. Such a piece of shit. It’s very interesting how he’s suddenly taking his phone in the shower

its been a week and now he’s away for work in a hotel. I’m at home, and messaging him. He’s not replied to my WhatsApp but has replied to “Graces” several times. Saying she’s gorgeous, asking if she models. Yuck

i need to end it when he gets home and have told my mum and im making plans but I kinda love he’s making an absolute tit of himself. Part of me wants to arrange a meet up and then turn up myself but he’s volatile. Thinking I could get my mum and dad sat in the pub when he goes to meet “Grace”. He’d be horrified and panicky then. Fucking twat.

OP posts:
Gizzywizzywoo · 17/04/2026 23:15

Ahitsteatime · 16/04/2026 22:23

I go through waves of like fuck you and smugly knowing it’s me and this hot young woman doesn’t actually fancy him, then have moments where I feel our daughter move and just feel so sad, mainly for her that her dad is a piece of shit. Will claim maintenance though and it’s my house not his so pros and cons

You know what you need to do, that baby girl deserves better
YOU deserve better
You should be happily in the bubble of pregnancy excitement , enjoying this time as a couple before welcoming your little bundle of joy but instead hes off chatting to other women and ignoring his own pregnant woman.
He is disgusting and you are better off without him

ForeverTheOptomist · 17/04/2026 23:26

wheresthespuds · 16/04/2026 22:33

I do remember that thread!

sorry OP. Be as dignified and as classy as you can. Head held high. Don’t go for the dramatic showdown, ultimately you will just be giving him material to work with, as PP said.

however, getting your parents to meet him with his stuff bagged up sounds perfect to me…

… Or better still HIS parents, with his crap 😂

ukgone2pot · 17/04/2026 23:39

You're going to be a mother..focus on that. Its far more important than playing games.

Interested in this thread?

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Comebypig · 18/04/2026 00:01

I wouldn’t claim CMS, I’d omit him from the birth certificate and do it completely alone.

NormasArse · 18/04/2026 00:27

Whettlettuce · 17/04/2026 05:56

It's your house so get his stuff out before he gets back. Change locks if needed . Send him all screenshots and tell him its been you the whole time and have nothing more to with him .

I actually wouldn’t let on, if he’s known to be volatile.

mathanxiety · 18/04/2026 02:54

Pessismistic · 16/04/2026 22:58

Op I would keep the conversation going but when he gets back have his stuff packed up just say I know you don’t want to be here so please go and leave your keys then change the locks if he tries to convince you otherwise just say no I’m sure I can do better than you. I wouldn’t even tell him about grace yet let him think he’s on to something with her then just after you have processed everything just delete your app never tell him ever he doesn’t deserve it. He’s not giving one fuck about you so mirror his behaviour. Do not let him lie to your face again you and baby deserve better he’s sounds like he’s going to be shit dad tbh he can’t cope now no chance when a screaming baby comes along it’s over. Sorry this has happened to you. He’s a cunt.

I agree with all of this.

I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest the 'Grace' conversation is a really good way for the OP to establish very necessary emotional distance from this man. She's not weakly giving him headspace. She's letting him show her exactly who he is, ripping off the plaster, and staring the truth in the face. If she ever feels any regrets about ending the relationship, she can look over these conversations and bolster her determination.

It's a good thing she owns her own house. I'd have her mum and dad there when he returns to find his stuff all packed and ready for removal.

I doubt he ever really wanted the baby - talk of trying 'next year' was all hot air to maintain a roof over his head and a warm bed to sleep in. Then the OP got pregnant and called his bluff. @Ahitsteatime do not put this man's name on the birth cert, and hire a doula to accompany you in childbirth.

MerryUmberHedgehog · 18/04/2026 06:28

Just end it and be the mature one. Tempting to continue but remember you are pregnant and you should be focussing on you and your baby. Also youre going to have to have some kind of relationship with him when your baby is born until he/she is 18. Your child is the innocent one here.

Chickadee001 · 18/04/2026 06:36

I think you need to leave and even though it's scary with a baby on the way I'm sure both your families wil step up when they hear what a twit he's being!

berightorbehappy · 18/04/2026 08:28

He is a total piece of shit but he is your child’s dad so let’s hope he makes a better go of that than a partner ! Nothing to be gained by planning a revenge scenario . Just screenshot the messages and say someone sent them to you and kick him out . You honestly don’t have energy to waste now .. save it for you and your baby . Good luck.

WorkerBee83 · 18/04/2026 11:56

So sorry that you are going through this. You are strong and you will have a happy life without him xx

Rachelshair · 18/04/2026 12:10

Not the point of the thread, sorry, but you said you got pregnant while using the coil, is that possible? I thought it was foolproof? You've got me worried now!
As for the partner, keep your split as simple and calm as possible and concentrate on yourself

LilWoosmum82 · 18/04/2026 12:15

Rachelshair · 18/04/2026 12:10

Not the point of the thread, sorry, but you said you got pregnant while using the coil, is that possible? I thought it was foolproof? You've got me worried now!
As for the partner, keep your split as simple and calm as possible and concentrate on yourself

Yes it is possible, contraception is never 100% foolproof

Jillybloop393 · 18/04/2026 12:35

Besidemyselfwithworry · 16/04/2026 22:21

No I’d milk this for a bit longer….. until you can safety arrange a meet up and be there with a load of mates and his stuff in bin bags! Serve him right!

This! What fun you're having with this utter jerk of a man. Make sure you have as many friends and family at the meeting place as you can, and see him cringe.
Love what you're doing, but sorry you're going through stress - but you'll be well rid of him!

EvieBB · 18/04/2026 12:38

Dontknowwhattobelieve2 · 16/04/2026 22:25

Please arrange to meet him as grace, then once he’s there send him a message saying “sorry, I saw you in person and changed my mind”

This!!

begonefoulclutter · 18/04/2026 16:08

Newyearawaits · 17/04/2026 17:20

I think poster was referring to the fact that the baby has separated parents before being born.
Let's not pretend that this is the best start. Children are in a better position with 2 committed parents.

You need to be telling that to the OP's cheating shit of a boyfriend then.

Cdu · 18/04/2026 16:14

Besidemyselfwithworry · 16/04/2026 22:21

No I’d milk this for a bit longer….. until you can safety arrange a meet up and be there with a load of mates and his stuff in bin bags! Serve him right!

Safety in numbers. Bring your mates and family. I wouldn't laugh or show him up for the tube that he actually is. I would however have every single item of his packaged up from your home, clothes books music bits and bobs. Have them in his bags or plastic bags and just play it by ear when arrives. Do it with grace, do it with style and simply say that you hope he finds what it is he's looking for but that grace will be blocking him going forward.

Louisetopaz21 · 18/04/2026 16:21

I was suspected a friendship of an ex a few years ago. I looked on their messages and found dick picks sent when I had started to see him. The woman had a boyfriend. I asked her to give him a call and as they were chatting I forwarded the dick pics to her again from his ipad and could head them stop talking and start whispering to plan excuses 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I walked in the room and shouted some nice photos for your boyfriend

Cdu · 18/04/2026 17:44

Ahitsteatime · 16/04/2026 22:39

12 years 😞 was going to start trying for a baby possibly next year but then I fell pregnant on the coil and I wanted to keep the baby, he didn’t but then he did and he had been fine until last few weeks. Been together since we were eighteen.

Wasting your time stringing you along during the timeframe where babies are a very reasonable expectation in a relationship

TessSaysYes · 18/04/2026 18:05

Yes and film it for TicTok 🤣
Open a channel on insta about him.

ForeverTheOptomist · 18/04/2026 18:49

NormasArse · 18/04/2026 00:27

I actually wouldn’t let on, if he’s known to be volatile.

That would seriously mess with his head. Don't know if that's good or bad ...

Hmm1234 · 18/04/2026 19:08

I wouldn’t even be having his baby. A lifetime of hell is waiting for you. Will you even be able to look at him without disgust trying to Co parent?!

Hmm1234 · 18/04/2026 19:08

I wouldn’t even be having his baby. A lifetime of hell is waiting for you. Will you even be able to look at him without disgust trying to Co parent?!

Wildefish · 18/04/2026 20:06

begonefoulclutter · 18/04/2026 16:08

You need to be telling that to the OP's cheating shit of a boyfriend then.

I agree with you. What are people on. Why would a child be better off with a dad like that🤷‍♀️

sittingonabeach · 18/04/2026 20:54

@Wildefish child has a right to know their dad, cheating shit or not.

D0RA · 18/04/2026 22:11

Comebypig · 18/04/2026 00:01

I wouldn’t claim CMS, I’d omit him from the birth certificate and do it completely alone.

you CANT put him on the BC unless he is with you when you register. Unless you are married and have the marriage certificate with you.

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