I’m talking to my own partner on a dating app.

[Ahitsteatime]

Currently 20 weeks pregnant, partner had taken it badly. Stropping around, not sure he wanted the baby then he did, making mistakes at work saying he was depressed. This is our first and was an accident. After weeks of him being up or down, I checked his phone. Mainly because I was worried he had been searching suicide methods or something. But no, I found a dating app.

He didn’t really have many chats about three and they were flirty and sort of sexual. I felt more annoyed than upset. I stupidly then decided to make an account, I don’t know why. I guess I wanted to see it for myself and control the narrative.

Used random photos off Reddit and he matched with me and I’ve been messaging him across the room. He’s told a ton of lies, single obviously, lives alone, new job, used older pictures😂. Such a piece of shit. It’s very interesting how he’s suddenly taking his phone in the shower

its been a week and now he’s away for work in a hotel. I’m at home, and messaging him. He’s not replied to my WhatsApp but has replied to “Graces” several times. Saying she’s gorgeous, asking if she models. Yuck

i need to end it when he gets home and have told my mum and im making plans but I kinda love he’s making an absolute tit of himself. Part of me wants to arrange a meet up and then turn up myself but he’s volatile. Thinking I could get my mum and dad sat in the pub when he goes to meet “Grace”. He’d be horrified and panicky then. Fucking twat.

Id be so inclined to set him up with either your parents or a friend,.total dick move, even more so you are pregnant.

Why are you giving this man so much head space? Be gone when he gets back and never give him another thought.
I would stop wasting time on these games and move on, it already sounds like he thinks he is.

You’re right I probably shouldn’t. It started with wanting proof, to have messages as knew as soon as he would be confronted he’d delete everything but now it’s got a bit mad. I just hated not knowing what he was saying about us or our life or not saying even.

Bah. Let her have some fun with the scumbag before it ends.

Anyone else remember this thread??
the penguin has landed

amazing! Having a read 😂

’ Gracie’ needs to ghost him and you need to dump him.
As much as it would be satisfying for him to find out that you are the one on the app I just wouldn’t bother . I would just make plans to leave
So sorry that you are going through this particularly at this time

Omg this is brilliant but also, what a knob!! Imagine turning up as yourself. The result would be priceless.

No I’d milk this for a bit longer….. until you can safety arrange a meet up and be there with a load of mates and his stuff in bin bags! Serve him right!

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this.

I know how tempting it is to show him you’ve discovered how pathetic he is, but there is nothing in that scenario that is going to be positive for you. You say he’s volatile, which could end up being awful for you in all sorts of ways. Best case scenario is that he gets panicky and embarrassed, but he’s only ever going to start shouting the odds in a crowded pub that you’re crazy, that you tricked him by getting pregnant and a load of other pathetic lies and excuses. Why do you need to hear that? Or have anyone else hear it? You need calmness and peace, not arguments and aggression.

Seriously, the best thing you could do, depending on who owns or rents what, is either get his stuff out and left with his family and the locks changed before they’ve got a chance to tell him to get himself back home, or get your stuff and get out before he’s home, and block him on everything. You don’t need to end it in person. I’m sure he’ll work out that he’s single when he realises you don’t live together anymore and ‘Grace’ has vanished from the dating site. And doing it in person is only ever going to be his opportunity to rant at you. There is nothing you could do that will cause him more upset than simply refusing to see him or speak to him.

I go through waves of like fuck you and smugly knowing it’s me and this hot young woman doesn’t actually fancy him, then have moments where I feel our daughter move and just feel so sad, mainly for her that her dad is a piece of shit. Will claim maintenance though and it’s my house not his so pros and cons

Please arrange to meet him as grace, then once he’s there send him a message saying “sorry, I saw you in person and changed my mind”

Suggest Grace as a baby name and watch him squirm…

But seriously ducks in a row and LTB

Grace should keep stringing him along and then completely ghost him after his relationship has ended.

Grace should tell him she’s finding him pretty boring and he’s not good looking enough to compensate.

I do remember that thread!

sorry OP. Be as dignified and as classy as you can. Head held high. Don’t go for the dramatic showdown, ultimately you will just be giving him material to work with, as PP said.

however, getting your parents to meet him with his stuff bagged up sounds perfect to me…

Grace needs to ask him the size of his cock and see if he lies.
🤣

How long have you been together?

Fantastic, get his stuff out and get the locks changed before he gets back. I know it’s funny to think of scenarios where he turns up to see you and all his stuff in bin bags, and you have a moment and walk out with your head held high and your dignity intact, but it rarely, if ever, happens like that in reality. And the more you pretend to be Grace, the more of your emotions you’re investing in this worthless piece of shit. The more you’re seeing him pretend to be the man you thought he was.

To cause pain, real psychological discomfort, the only way is to cut him loose and ice him out. Billy Big Balls currently thinks he’s got it all. A pretty young dolly bird lapping up every word, while a woman who loves him and shares her home with him is there as his fallback plan, until he finds something he thinks is better. It will drive him mad knowing that you’ve realised he isn’t good enough for you, or for your child. You can still claim maintenance for him, inform him he has a child, but otherwise, he’s dead to you. You can’t see him, hear him or talk to him. Don’t tell him you were Grace. Just vanish from his life. Let him feel your absence.

Persuade him to book a hotel for him and Grace to have a dirty time this weekend.

At least he'll have somewhere to stay when he realises you've kicked him out.

12 years 😞 was going to start trying for a baby possibly next year but then I fell pregnant on the coil and I wanted to keep the baby, he didn’t but then he did and he had been fine until last few weeks. Been together since we were eighteen.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3129992-To-make-my-bf-wait-hours-for-his-blind-date I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I did something similar. However when the “high”’of deceiving him was over, I felt sad and upset.

I imagine you’re going to feel a million times worse than I was, what with living with him and pregnant with his baby.

Dont rush OP, get your ducks in a row and listen to the sensible advice from posters. Good luck.

Hopefully my link will make you smile a wee bit.

This OP - There is nothing you could do that will cause him more upset than simply refusing to see him or speak to him.

This thread has been done so many times OP and your real life upset, will become others entertainment.

My advice is to confront him when he returns and change the locks.

And ignore all the inevitable screams for updates, when you eventually leave the thread.