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Original poster

I’m talking to my own partner on a dating app.

374 replies

Ahitsteatime · 16/04/2026 22:03

Currently 20 weeks pregnant, partner had taken it badly. Stropping around, not sure he wanted the baby then he did, making mistakes at work saying he was depressed. This is our first and was an accident. After weeks of him being up or down, I checked his phone. Mainly because I was worried he had been searching suicide methods or something. But no, I found a dating app.

He didn’t really have many chats about three and they were flirty and sort of sexual. I felt more annoyed than upset. I stupidly then decided to make an account, I don’t know why. I guess I wanted to see it for myself and control the narrative.

Used random photos off Reddit and he matched with me and I’ve been messaging him across the room. He’s told a ton of lies, single obviously, lives alone, new job, used older pictures😂. Such a piece of shit. It’s very interesting how he’s suddenly taking his phone in the shower

its been a week and now he’s away for work in a hotel. I’m at home, and messaging him. He’s not replied to my WhatsApp but has replied to “Graces” several times. Saying she’s gorgeous, asking if she models. Yuck

i need to end it when he gets home and have told my mum and im making plans but I kinda love he’s making an absolute tit of himself. Part of me wants to arrange a meet up and then turn up myself but he’s volatile. Thinking I could get my mum and dad sat in the pub when he goes to meet “Grace”. He’d be horrified and panicky then. Fucking twat.

OP posts:
IceStationZebra · 17/04/2026 19:00

WilfredsPies · 16/04/2026 22:48

If he’s volatile, upset because he doesn’t want to be a dad and probably feeling angry and humiliated because he’s realised he’s been tricked, there is no Grace and he’s now single and homeless, I think confronting him would be a very dangerous thing for the OP to do.

Now is the perfect time to get his stuff out, and change the locks, while he’s not about to kick a hole in the wall, smash anything or take anything that isn’t his.

Show quote history

This. It’s not going to end well and it definitely needs to end.

Bikergran · 17/04/2026 19:01

Change all locks before he gets back and have people in the house with you.

Forthwith81 · 17/04/2026 19:19

I have a feeling the OP won’t return to this thread. . .

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2nd trimester General pregnancy General relationships Relationship problems
DramaAndBullshit · 17/04/2026 19:31

Ahitsteatime · 17/04/2026 11:54

Hello all, thanks for the lovely comments and support. My mum is coming today to help bag his stuff up and will be here when I call to end the relationship. I’ve been running on adrenaline I think, fueled by a sort of chase feeling but at the bottom of it it’s just sadness and mostly disappointment if anything. I’ve also got a massive ick with him now.

I won’t be revealing I’m Grace but will be telling him he just doesn’t do it for her physically (as her) before blocking and will say someone else saw him on there and send me the screenshots of his profile (which I have). He’s crafty, sneaky and at a vulnerable time when I needed him, he does this. Bastard. He even chose this app called Breeze, as he knows I have friends who are dating and use the more common ones such as tinder and he’d be seen. He planned this and I can’t trust him ever again.

Ultimately this is probably the best option. I am so angry for you that he’s done this, but I guess at least now you know. I had a similar situation, but our baby was 8 weeks old when I found messages, it takes a particular type of vermin to do this to you at this incredibly vulnerable time. I’m glad your mum is stepping in to help you purge him from your house, and I hope you are able to get yourself settled in time to focus on your baby arriving.

MaggiesShadow · 17/04/2026 19:32

PLEASE arrange for him to meet Grace then have her message him saying that she came, she saw, and she ran because he's tiny and unattractive.

Joking aside though, I'm sorry he's so shit OP but better to know now. Bin him off and enjoy your life without the constant heartache he would inevitably cause.

Muffinmam · 17/04/2026 19:39

Make plans to meet. Have him go to great effort and expense for the first date. Then 45 minutes into the time the date was meant to start you need to text him that you saw him sitting waiting for you and he looks nothing like his photos.

You need to crush him.

Then…. Do it again.

xmaswiththeinlaws · 17/04/2026 19:58

I think part of me would want to ask him if he likes Pina Colada before ghosting him and changing the locks.

Whitebonny12 · 17/04/2026 19:58

Anguskinty · 17/04/2026 18:23

OP owns the house

Show quote history

Change the locks then and disappear for a couple of weeks.

tommyhoundmum · 17/04/2026 20:03

Please remember he is your baby's father and may want to know him in later years.

Iamnotalemming · 17/04/2026 20:29

Well done OP, you are doing great.
Don't forget to change the locks and think about a ring doorbell as well. It's amazing how much better ppl behave when they're on camera.
When get to the other side of this immediate horror show, think about organising something nice for yourself. Spa weekend with your Mum? Good luck Flowers

chaosmaker · 17/04/2026 20:41

Mellowbear · 17/04/2026 18:54

I've seen this exact post multiple times in tiktok!!! It's a boring trend.

I don't get why anyone wants to use that app. Melts brains...

Sweetandnice · 17/04/2026 20:53

Please update what happened when he got home

Contrarymary30 · 17/04/2026 21:01

Ahitsteatime · 16/04/2026 22:12

You’re right I probably shouldn’t. It started with wanting proof, to have messages as knew as soon as he would be confronted he’d delete everything but now it’s got a bit mad. I just hated not knowing what he was saying about us or our life or not saying even.

Show quote history

I think it's a stroke of genius ! Wish I'd done it when my XHwas cheating .

Blueskies77 · 17/04/2026 21:36

Thinking with regards to claiming maintenance I wonder if you have to put him on the birth certificate for that? I’m not sure how it works, but if you put him down as the dad on the birth certificate he will have parental rights and could make things difficult for you. Have a look into it.

sittingonabeach · 17/04/2026 21:42

@Blueskies77 you don’t have to put them on birth certificate to claim CMS, but he could request DNA test and could apply to be put on birth certificate

KayMarie121 · 17/04/2026 21:50

I’d wait while he got home and say “oh yeah Grace called on the phone- something about work- no worries she’ll catch you later etc” and watch him squirm.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/04/2026 21:52

Hi op
please NEVER tell him you are Grace. Ever.
you need to think of your baby’s future and there is a chance you’ll end up in family court, if you do he will use this to make you seem like a hysterical unfit mother and try to argue your baby should live with him and his new ‘pick me’ girfriend. This is a real risk and serious.
when you tell friends and family why you’ve split up you say you found cheating dating apps but don’t tell anyone you catfished unless you trust them with your baby’s life.
i wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of telling him how hurt you are etc, just make a plan to leave safely and tell him you think the spark has gone and (if safe to do so) you’re not that attracted any more . That will kill his ego and confidence with all his dating app nonsense.
then move somewhere where you’re happy to get settled with baby before baby is born as he can make moving cities etc hard for you after baby is here.

give baby your surname and consider giving him dads surname as a middle name so that he won’t get his name barrelled onto yours.

Gonk123 · 17/04/2026 21:58

How awful…well done for being so strong dealing with this

hypnovic · 17/04/2026 22:20

Arrange a date. Dont turn up. Text and say sorry i saw you and left you look much older and have clearly put some weight on since those pics. Then dont reply to him again. While he is busy being stood up, you leave with everything you own and no explanation.

TheCobbleCreekMonster · 17/04/2026 22:34

AcquadiP · 17/04/2026 16:24

Love this! I wouldn't disclose that you and Grace are the same person. I'd just let Grace lead him on and arrange to meet him at a hotel. On the day he's due to go to the hotel, you dump him, he no doubt will go to the hotel to find Grace isn't there and not only that, she's blocked him with no explanation. That'll fry his brain!

Do this but message him as Grace and say you saw him from your car enter the building and he's not all that in the flesh and you are no longer interested.

That will fry his brain.

TheCobbleCreekMonster · 17/04/2026 22:35

Just realised that @hypnovic said the same thing. Fry him OP.

wizzywig · 17/04/2026 22:36

Eclipser · 16/04/2026 22:13

Anyone else remember this thread??
the penguin has landed

Oh no there's so many deleted posts i can't figure out what happened

BeRarePlumCrab · 17/04/2026 22:37

Personally, id have his things packed but not let on its you hes talking to. End the relationship with him and see how he handles your gracie persona then. Id seriously let him get attached before she leaves. Id never tell him. Sometimes just knowing is better. What a laugh! But dont take my petty advice.

Here comes the truthful part.... Doing that means you are not letting him go and moving on. You will still be attached to him and emotionally that could destroy you, especially with pregnancy hormones coursing through your body.

Just bow out gracefully. No arguments, no winning, just gone from his life. That will sting him more than you think later.

Purplerain1985 · 17/04/2026 22:46

Ahitsteatime · 16/04/2026 22:03

Currently 20 weeks pregnant, partner had taken it badly. Stropping around, not sure he wanted the baby then he did, making mistakes at work saying he was depressed. This is our first and was an accident. After weeks of him being up or down, I checked his phone. Mainly because I was worried he had been searching suicide methods or something. But no, I found a dating app.

He didn’t really have many chats about three and they were flirty and sort of sexual. I felt more annoyed than upset. I stupidly then decided to make an account, I don’t know why. I guess I wanted to see it for myself and control the narrative.

Used random photos off Reddit and he matched with me and I’ve been messaging him across the room. He’s told a ton of lies, single obviously, lives alone, new job, used older pictures😂. Such a piece of shit. It’s very interesting how he’s suddenly taking his phone in the shower

its been a week and now he’s away for work in a hotel. I’m at home, and messaging him. He’s not replied to my WhatsApp but has replied to “Graces” several times. Saying she’s gorgeous, asking if she models. Yuck

i need to end it when he gets home and have told my mum and im making plans but I kinda love he’s making an absolute tit of himself. Part of me wants to arrange a meet up and then turn up myself but he’s volatile. Thinking I could get my mum and dad sat in the pub when he goes to meet “Grace”. He’d be horrified and panicky then. Fucking twat.

Firstly op I’m sorry you’re pregnant and going through this as well,what a low life! Big hugs 🤗 My petty self would carry it on,arrange a public meet up,with back up for yourself.It would give me so much satisfaction personally.Good luck with everything and bin the scum bag off even though I know it will be extremely difficult

Nogimachi · 17/04/2026 23:12

I’m so sorry OP. However you want him on your side so he pays you some financial support for the baby and helps you out during the tough times/ babysits occasionally so you get a night off and ca go out with friends. Don’t play games and do stupid stuff that will get in the way of him potentially making your life easier in future.
All the best and don’t have accidents in future…