Page 10 | "Sorry I can't make it" why is that not enough for some people? or 'no'

PollyBell · 2026-02-11T03:38:40+00:00

If someone says this to me I accept it and move on, I would like for people to accept it in return but there are so many examples why people have to turn it into a thing why is it not enough Yes if I am sat waiting at restaurant at 12 and they text me at 11:50am it would be annoying but I presume they have their reasons but even for other reasons why is 'no' not enough for people

AfternoonTeaAddict · 14/02/2026 07:25

I know. It's weird. She has a very dramatic personality though. Histrionic. I find her quite overwhelming. To the person who asked why i suggested coffee- well it's because you can't just say NO to her. The best way to ward her off is to say 'I can't, but maybe next week we could catch up instead'. I then try and do something I can handle- coffee, out at a cafe, defined finishing time. After the whole sobbing and clutching at me when I had to go to the hospital I have been gently pulling away. DH says she has the hide of a rhinocerous and no boundaries and I should just tell her to fuck right off.

AfternoonTeaAddict · 14/02/2026 07:29

Anyway- she's was finally told we really preferred to see DS off on our own. No REALLY. Yes, we actually meant it.

Summerhut2025 · 14/02/2026 11:14

AfternoonTeaAddict · 13/02/2026 17:36

Ive just had a real life example. Ds1 (aged 16) is going on a half term school trip tomorrow.

'Friend' who is always a bit pushy texted earlier suggesting she and her DH and I am my DH get together for a Valentines brunch. I said no, we we are driving DS to the airport to meet his class and suggested she and I meet next week for coffee. Her response was that how about she and her DH drive us all to the airport (at 6 in the morning) and as we would not doubt be so upset they'd then take us to brunch on the way home at some whatever equivalent of Little Chef there is about nowadays. I texted back and said it was very kind, but at that time it was better if DH, DS2 and I just take DS1 and waved him off. We'd be back much later and suggested again that she and I meet next week. The friend has texted now (I have not answered) saying she could not POSSIBLY let us wave off DS1 on our own, she knew we'd be DISTRAUGHT and they'd take us and we would not have to worry about driving. Now, we are not worried about driving, and the last thing any of us need is to be picked up and transported by a third party who wails and waves at the airport. She's got form for this and I have had to be firm in the past, but it's fucking annoying and exhausting and I very often want to say to her 'I already said no. What do you not understand about that?'. A couple of years ago I had to travel to a private hospital to get results for a possible cancer diagnosis. I wanted to go on my own and eave DH to deal with the needs of the DCs. She was grabbing my hands and sobbing and saying she could never in good conscience leave me to face it alone. I'd not known her that long at that point and my internal response was 'Please just leave me alone, stop inserting yourself'. I promised her I really did want to just go and sort things myself and ended up promising to give her a blow by blow account as to whatever my diagnosis would be as she 'would not rest' until she knew.

Rant over.

I could not put up with that and would have to be dropping her as a friend pronto 😬

TheBestThingthatAlmostHappened · 14/02/2026 12:33

AfternoonTeaAddict · 13/02/2026 17:36

Ive just had a real life example. Ds1 (aged 16) is going on a half term school trip tomorrow.

'Friend' who is always a bit pushy texted earlier suggesting she and her DH and I am my DH get together for a Valentines brunch. I said no, we we are driving DS to the airport to meet his class and suggested she and I meet next week for coffee. Her response was that how about she and her DH drive us all to the airport (at 6 in the morning) and as we would not doubt be so upset they'd then take us to brunch on the way home at some whatever equivalent of Little Chef there is about nowadays. I texted back and said it was very kind, but at that time it was better if DH, DS2 and I just take DS1 and waved him off. We'd be back much later and suggested again that she and I meet next week. The friend has texted now (I have not answered) saying she could not POSSIBLY let us wave off DS1 on our own, she knew we'd be DISTRAUGHT and they'd take us and we would not have to worry about driving. Now, we are not worried about driving, and the last thing any of us need is to be picked up and transported by a third party who wails and waves at the airport. She's got form for this and I have had to be firm in the past, but it's fucking annoying and exhausting and I very often want to say to her 'I already said no. What do you not understand about that?'. A couple of years ago I had to travel to a private hospital to get results for a possible cancer diagnosis. I wanted to go on my own and eave DH to deal with the needs of the DCs. She was grabbing my hands and sobbing and saying she could never in good conscience leave me to face it alone. I'd not known her that long at that point and my internal response was 'Please just leave me alone, stop inserting yourself'. I promised her I really did want to just go and sort things myself and ended up promising to give her a blow by blow account as to whatever my diagnosis would be as she 'would not rest' until she knew.

Rant over.

Ah, yes, one of those. Let me guess, she calls herself an "empath", cries at other people's bad news and has an incredible talent for making any and every situation all about her.

FullOfLoveAndObsessiveCleaner · 14/02/2026 16:21

She sounds like Hyacinth Bucket 😂 very pushy and no boundaries