Overwhelmed by household chores! Ideas please!

[CambridgeCats]

Mum to young school-aged DC. Work for myself from home. DH works long hours and next to useless on cooking and cleaning (I know, that’s another thread).

For now, I would appreciate understanding how others do it (if their husbands also contribute little or if they’re single). For example, should I have specific tasks each day plus stuff I do everyday? Specific rooms or cleaning tidying tasks?

I seem to have got into a rut where I’m always catching up and the house is never tidy. As soon as I manage to tidy one area, another area is untidy. Laundry is always on a backlog.

Whats the system in your home for laundry? Do you have separate baskets for each person, or each room, and do you have set days for specific things eg underwear, towels, bed linen, or do you just chuck a load in whenever. And when do you put it all away?

this all sounds like basic stuff but I’ve let it get on top of me and need a reset. (Even if I was not living with DH I still feel I’d have this issue albeit with slightly less laundry!) talk to me like I’m an alien just landed here. How do I organise cleaning and tidying for a family home?

If the kids are aged over 10 their own laundry basket and taught how to do it. Otherwise everything goes on together whenever you have time. Separating laundry is hangover from old washing machines, cookies that ran and ineffective
powder.

First of all, remember that this is an ongoing thing, tidying one room, then another is untidy, it's just always going to be the case. Dont try for perfect.

Make it a team job. By which I mean your DH lives there too. Maybe he's not a cook, but he can vacuum, sort the bins, put a wash on, change the bed. Get him to do the vacuuming whilst you cook dinner. Do "whatever" while you do "other thing". If he thinks you'll do it all, he'll probably let you.

Things that work for me:
Declutterring
Lower expectations
Higher tolerance of mess
Making lists and working out my priorities
Set days for certain tasks
Getting the DH and dc to pull their weight (even my 6yo will strip his bedding and put it beside the washing machine on Fridays before he can have any screen time).

For example, I’ve prioritised taking the time to help DCs with homework and sitting down together for a family meal above the actual quality and standard of the food we eat. If occasionally serving baked beans and fish fingers instead of scratch-cooked non UPF food means that we can spend time together, then so be it. It also means that DH can help with getting meals ready, as even he can heat up baked beans and put fish fingers in the oven (although admittedly he often gets the quantity completely wrong!).

The organised mum method may help you get squared up again, and onto more of a cleaning routine.
Personally to keep the house in any sort of order, the washing machine goes at least once a day, dishwasher goes on at least once a day, wipe down the kitchen after every meal, hoover downstairs, upstairs stays slightly less gross 😂 and I have to be quite rigid about folding washing once it’s out of the dryer otherwise it’ll just sit in the basket, all crumpled, and what a waste of time that is! I also make sure to clean or tidy at least one thing in every room I go in throughout the day, which helps, but I do have to be quite strict about it.

Thank you, that’s helpful

2 primary aged kids (9 and 6) and 2 adults here -
Laundry - a pop up basket in each of the kids bedrooms and one in our ensuite.
A load is put on every morning around 6am by me, DH WFH so he swaps it into the drier around lunchtime. One of us takes out and folds after work and the kids will take their piles upstairs, put them on their beds and then gets put away during bedtime routine.

Beds all stripped as you get out of them on a Sunday morning, washed as and when there's room in the machine. (often some on a Sunday and the rest Monday night)
All towels are white and just go in with the whites load which is usually the kids school polos every Saturday morning.

Loads are basically darks, mids, whites, bedding. Don't separate out underwear.

Dishwasher goes on at bedtime and emptied on a morning while breakfast sorts.
Downstairs is vacuumed every day, upstairs once a week.

Family of 4.
I put a wash on at 6am then hung up or on in the dryer before the school run. Another wash goes on if needed.
bathroom cleaned 3 times a week before I get in the shower (not floor).
2nd wash in dryer when I walk in from school run.
work 9-1 mostly at home
while I make a cup of tea I empty the dishwasher and fold laundry.
eat lunch and back to work.
5pm pick kids up.
make dinner and do lunch boxes (husband clears up and wipes surfaces) while I do homework with the kids
kids Clubs/gym
home around 7.30-8 all have showers/baths.
put washing away.
i tidy daily
washing basket is on the landing and has 3 compartments
beds get stripped Saturday and Sunday
floors get vacuumed as and when needed and mopped on a Saturday as we head out to football.
bathrooms get deep cleaned on Sunday mornings.
dusting is a bit hit and miss (probably every two weeks when I remember to water the plants)
kids tidy their own rooms and put washing in the baskets.

Put on the podcast ‘Clean with me’. Select what room you are doing - she will talk you through it. She has such a soothing voice - I feel calm and relaxed tidying. I now put it on every time I find laundry!!!!

I’m a single mum and have been since my DC were primary school age. I put a load of washing on when the single basket we have is full, clean the house right through once a fortnight and do interim hoovering, wiping down if sides, etc when needed, and we all put everything where it lives once it is finished with. I’m not going to win any cleanliness awards but it’s enough and have never felt it wasn’t good enough. It did get easier when I got rid of my ex though, men that don’t pull their weight are just extra work.

Both working full time with 2 kids. Husband does all cooking, puts his washing away, vaccuums every day. I do everything else. I do a wash at the end of every day to prevent it building up. Usually dry washing left a day or two in a basket then put away. General tidy up everyday with a good clean on a weekend to reset for the coming week.

Both working full time with 2 kids. Husband does all cooking, puts his washing away, vaccuums every day. I do everything else. I do a wash at the end of every day to prevent it building up. Usually dry washing left a day or two in a basket then put away. General tidy up everyday with a good clean on a weekend to reset for the coming week.

My DH does 50% of the cooking, he does the dishwasher and makes sure the kitchen is clean before bed. He does the ironing, mowing the lawn etc, bins and strips/ remakes the bed. I do home shop, hoovering, washing, toilets/ bathroom, dusting, mopping etc. Kids do certain jobs too.

I would get your kids to start doing some jobs (if old enough) and I would be making my DH do 50% end of - targeting the stuff he can do eg bins, mopping, picking up kids toys, bleaching toilets. I am sorry but he needs to do his fair share!!

3 DC in 3.5 years
I did a load of laundry over night everyday, timed to finish first thing..hang up straight away on getting up, with demuidifier on. Dry by evening, put away during bathtime. One laundry basket on landing, DC trained to put clothes straight in it, no collecting from rooms.
Never split colours/ underwear/ cloth nappies, except for work shirts, which went in on their own, or with some bedding once a week. Did one bed a week, so yes that meant 4 weeks per bed. Which was fine in my eyes. Towels once a fortnight on rotation.
Don't iron anything, DH ironed his shirts. Nothing else was ironed.
Dishwasher on over night. Emptied at breakfast. All dirty pots then straight in all day.
Wipe down kitchen after food prep.
Did a bit of cleaning at weekends.
Meal plan and on line shop once a week..
Still do most of this now it is just DH and I, but don't need to wash and dishwash every day!!!

My system for laundry is to have no laundry basket (just one small bag for white school shirts, which are our only white clothes).
All other clothes get put straight in the washing machine when someone takes them off (unless they are going to be reworn). Washing machine gets turned on when it's at least half full. When the machine ends everyone puts away their dry clothes from the clothes horse and we put the wet clothes on the clothes horse instead to dry.
White school shirts get washed Friday after school.

Hi OP - we have separate baskets - children share. Their washing gets done in two loads over the weekend. Husband does his own. I do a load of mine when needed. Towels once a week and bedding I rotate so once every two weeks. Things that help:
Tumble bedding and towels, get a dehumidifier to speed up drying of clothes. Wearing clothes more than once and I’ve started wearing T-shirts under work jumpers so that the bulky items don’t need to be washed every time. I find washing everyone’s clothes separate is easier so when you come to put away it’s not in a big mess of everyone’s things. This works for us. If I ever put in a load of everyone’s together I have a meltdown at the putting away stage! Good luck OP xx

Both working full time, two kids.

We do a chore each, each day.
In summary this means 15 mins a day each. Sometimes this means a bathroom, sheets, cleaning the hob, but they ate often done in work breaks or if we are at the office it's after kids are in bed.

Laundry is not considered a chore as it's just constant.

I dedicate a couple of evenings a week to chores which sounds grim when you've been non stop since 6am but it clears my head and makes the days more manageable.

I will add that we are in a position where we both work from home about half the time and I obviously have my partner so I am aware we are lucky in that sense of team work.

I do towels on one day, bedding on another, but do clothes washes daily as needed.
For cleaning I do the bathrooms one day, dust and hoover upstairs one day, dust and hoover downstairs another. The kitchen gets the sides wiped down multiple times a day, so the floor gets washed probably once every two weeks as I hate doing it.
For me, the most important thing is to keep the place tidy. Kids should be tidying their own stuff up, if they can’t keep it tidy it gets thrown away.

Laundry:
1 dirty basket for us
1 dirty basket for kids
1 basket for whites
A load goes on whenever baskets are getting full.

Things like towels, dishcloths, tea towels just get thrown down by the machine when they need a wash. Probably get away with 3 a week.
Hung up on heated airer.
Each person has a clean basket (square Curver) and laundry is folded straight from airer into baskets. They go up and each person puts their own away.

Two laundry baskets on the landing, one for white and black clothes and one for colours. Speeds up sorting.

Dh does set jobs rather than general cleaning as he’s rubbish at seeing it. So he hoovers once a week, changes beds fortnightly and empties bins. Plus he deals with garden/diy.
I put a wash on first thing and either put dryer on or hang it out after work (unless it’s going outside in which case I do it before work) I put away in evening (only mine /bedding /towels) everyone puts their own laundry away. laundry basket is seperated into towels/ colours and whites.
I empty dish washer in morning fill and put it on after tea.
I clean bathrooms once a week, dust/wipe down once a week but split over 2 days (upstairs and downstairs)
other jobs are done by either me or dh as needed (cleaning oven etc)
food shopped is delivery everyone adds to it.
older kids do their own laundry i do mine , dh and youngest. I don’t iron.
everyone tidies up after themselves, we don’t leave things downstairs, coats/shoes go in cupboard etc.

For tidying I recently saw a thing online that said don’t leave a room empty handed. So now rather than spending lots of time actively tidying, if I’m going to another room in the house I pick something up that I can put back on the way or in the room I’m going to. It keeps on top of the mess a little bit without feeling like a major shift!

IMO keeping on top of the laundry and dishes is the key. Wash on every day, with almost everything tumble dried. Separate out whites but everything else in together. Dishwasher on every evening and emptied at breakfast. General pick up happens before kids go to bed (everyone has to muck in). Cleaner once a fortnight to do the floors and bathrooms. That pretty much just leaves you with keeping on top of clutter which can happen at the weekends.

I have baskets for sorting the laundry into whites, lights, darks and towels/sheets. When a basket has enough for a load I put it on. If I'm wfh (a couple of days a week) I usually put a load on in the morning and another at lunch time.

Kids any age can help. I just chuck a load on as I get a full basket. Hang it up. It's kids job to make piles for each person or room when dry.
Get kids to pick up every night, in whichever room you need them. Even though it needs doing more often I hoover, dust, polish and mop once a week only.
I stick with the little and often method mostly. But kitchen gets most cleaning. Has to be done every day in there.

Agree kids can help! At any age. We are training them for life, including to be good future partners. Mine have always helped tidy, set and clear tables, make beds, sort washing, put shopping away, clean their bedrooms etc. it all adds up. Admittedly I do a fair amount of shouting up the stairs "reminding" them 😉 but I point blank refuse to spend my time when I'm not working servicing everyone else in the household. And yes, it's not always to my standard, but meh...