Wedding dilema, who should pay?

[Sorrynotsorry22]

DD 26 is getting wed this month in a registery office. She and fiance have a child 2yo and lives nearly 400miles away.
She said it was a small event, not wanting to spend too much.
She is planning it very casually imo. Told me to announce to the rest of the family , even though there is a guest limit.
Me and her father are separated- not yet divorced- for most of her life. She has invited him out of obligation. A few of us are travelling and staying at a nearby hotel.
Who should offer to pay for the meal after the registry office after the event and her outfit? ? Them? Me? Her dad?
We are far from a traditional family, I don't want to come over controlling and ruin her wedding but she is our only daughter.

They do.

Id give them a donation to use as they wish, ask if they need any help with anything and if not leave them to it.

How much do you think the meal is likely to cost ?

Ideally you could give her a cash gift and say she can use it on the meal or however she prefers. I am sure she wouldn’t see a financial contribution as controlling.

has she said she's paying for the meal or is she asking for everyone to pay for their own?

if you can afford and want to put something towards the wedding, talk to her and offer what you're happy to offer. you get no say on what her dad or his parents give and no one should feel obliged to pay for it except them.

Give her an amount of cash you can comfortably & happily offer. Tell them they can spend it in anything - make it clear they can put toward the meal, or the ceremony or whatever they like.

If they are not paying for the meal and expecting others to pay, that is something they should have advised people of before they turn up. I wouldn’t expect any money from someone I was inviting out of obligation only. If you want to pay for some of it, offer that to them.