Horribly worried and I need a hand hold (TW suicide)

[Allelbowsandtoes]

Hope its okay to post here. Im feeling so worried. My elderly dad has been in a very bad place mentally for the past 18 months, at times suicidal. 2 hours ago he sent a message which was quite obviously a goodbye to our family WhatsApp group. He was home alone at the time. His wife rushed back home but hes left the house. People out looking for him now.

I'm a plane journey away so all I can do is sit and wait for news

Oh goodness how scary for you OP. I hope he's found quickly and safely x

Thankyou, I hope so too. Im hoping its a cry for help but hes really not a cry for help sort of man. He's generally very stoic and has been masking how much hes suffering.

How hard for you to sit and wait OP. If you can, put your phone on loud and get on with something to keep your mind from racing. Just a “busy” task. Hopefully you will hear some good news and he is found safe.

Have you got someone with you just now? Is there anyone you can ask to be there?

I really hope the next short while brings you some good news, and some much needed help for your dad.

Oh gosh OP, thinking of you.

Oh gosh, how scary.
Hand hold from me x

This has made me shudder OP. Im holding your hand very tightly, albeit virtually.

Thankyou, my DP has come home from work to be with me. Its so weird just waiting. Just cuddling the dog at the mo and talking to DP and on the phone to my brother who is away at the moment

Oh OP. I’m holding hope that he’s found well and then has access to the help he needs.

I know nothing we can say can change how you’re feeling right now so try and do something that’s distracting for you to help pass time and hopefully knowing people are rooting for you and your dad and are here (Albeit virtually) for you. Sending lots of love and strength

Really hope you get some good news. You must feel so far away and helpless. Hugs.

Handhold. This is so worrying for you. I hope he is found safe and well.

I’m so sorry, OP, it’s very hard to be away from home with something like this going on. Have the police been called?

I can't for a moment imagine what you are going through. Holding your hand x

How worrying and difficult being so far away.

Have the police been informed?

It would also be worth putting his description and photo on local social media sites like Facebook. Let people in his area know he's missing and vulnerable so you have as many people as possible looking out for him.

I hope he's found safe soon.

Also sending a handhold so sorry you are going through this, hoping he is located soon and gets the help he needs. I'm so glad your partners with you and brothers on the phone.

Sending thoughts and prayers. I hope your Dad comes home x are the police looking for him?

Hope your Dad is found safe and sound x

I'm glad that you have your dp with you.

Is there anything practical you can do? Places you can message with his photo? How would you feel about sharing this on social media in his local area? Contact any old friends maybe? You may just want to sit and wait for news, which is also absolutely valid too.

You must feel in limbo right now, and helpless by being so far away 💐

Thankyou so much everyone ♥️ he's been found safe (if not well) and seeing the mental health team now. I appreciate all the lovely messages ❤️

That's amazing news, what a relief for you.

I know it's been scary, but this is hopefully the thing that spurs him on to get the help he needs.

Take some time for yourself tonight, you've had a big shock and it might take a day or two to get your head around now you know he's safe.

Thankyou! Going to have a bath and an early night ❤️

Hoping this is a cry for help as he has publicly made it clear he's thinking about it. Please let us know how it goes, so harrowing. Xxx

Sorry, have just seen update, phew! My gut instinct was a cry for help, wishing you luck he gets it. Xxx

Hi Op, I was glad to find out he has been found and I do hope he gets the help he needs. I send you and your family Best wishes.

So glad he’s been found OP.
It may be that I should have posted this separately but I hope you don’t mind me hijacking yours and drawing attention to a website that recently came to my notice via someone I follow on instagram.
It’s called Reasons to Stay and was established by Ian West the older brother of a teenager who took his own life in 2018, and who is now a mental health campaigner.
In essence Reason to Stay is a suicide prevention project aimed at reaching people (not just young men) at difficult moments through anonymous letters written by volunteers which reminds those who are struggling that they are not alone even if it feels that way. It also provides links to other resources that might be helpful
Each letter on the site was written by a real person and is delivered at random when the page is visited. The letters are all checked over by a team of volunteer moderators who are all clinically trained professionals with experience of supporting people in distress, to ensure that all letters published are safe to be read by those who may be feeling suicidal.
There is also the facility for anyone who would like to, to write their own letter to a stranger giving warmth, hope and connection to someone who needs it most and there may be posters on here who feel that they would like to do this.