Things you 'should' feel guilty for but don't

[TinaTwinkleToes]

I don't like my mother but she helps with childcare

I'm travelling in China and every single transaction or interaction is such a massive fucking rigmarole that today I can't be bothered with it. The food here is amazing, but I've just had a giant McDonald's because they have order screens. I don't feel guilty at all. I feel great. And full.

I only discovered these existed a couple of years ago and now I’m a convert!
I live alone and these actually make me cook from scratch more often as the labour of all the peeling and chopping is removed - amazing

Far too much hard work lol

There are family members I don’t like, never mind love. That “I don’t like them but I still love them” has long since fallen away.

The feeling is completely mutual and the realisation that they didn’t have the capacity for anything most people would describe as love likely contributed to me not loving them any longer. I will never be involved in their care as they age.

I had a noisy neighbour who made my life really difficult for years. I'd complained many times and it just got worse. I didn't want to spend time in my apartment because of it.

I bought a giant pair of trainers in a charity shop and put them outside my door. Never heard a peep out of the fucker again. I concluded that when he thought he was just dealing with a silly woman, he didn't care. However, he did care about potentially dealing with the man who might fit into those trainers.

He's moved now, thank fuck.

Going nc with my whole family

Im the eldest,only girl and have 3 brothers (last two are twins)

My mother is a narcissist,my father enables her,im the scapegoat, bro1 is the invisible child,bro 2 is the golden child and bro 3 is the golden child when bro 2 isnt around

The rest of the family are there as flying monkeys/are around to worship and adore my mother

Everything that went wrong in life,was my fault I was there to take the blame,have the piss raken out of me,to pay debts others had ran up,ro take their lies about me,to be looked down on,physically attacked if the mood took them and I was never supported-i was told many times 'just work it out for yourself'

She gave up supporting me financially from aged 11/12 (I had to buy everything I needed,food,school uniform,shampoo,underwear,sanpro etc)

One day it all came to a head over a phone bill (it was never about a phone bill-it was the last cut in a death of a thousand cuts) and something snapped and I went nc

She laughed when she found out I didnt want to know anymore and said 'she'll need me long before I need her'

It's been 17 years since I last spoke to her and I've never needed her since-why would I?

My time and money is mine to spend and I dont have to deal with being punched or having my brothers openly hating me

The while family leapt to her defence making me out to be the problem as she is the 'perfect mother' so it must be me having a tantrum

They've been slagging me off and lying about me since

I refuse to feel guilty over not having a relationship with my family-if I hear 'but shes your mum!' one more time,that person is getting it in the jugular

Like fuck you should feel bad. She was 13 and threatening to cut your teddy's head off? Is she normal?

I take a lot of foreign holidays and fly domestically, I don't care about my carbon footprint.
I have a cleaner (although I don't understand why anyone would feel guilt about that anyway)
I have no intention of helping my parents in their old age. We don't have a bad relationship, but they are not my responsibility and elder care isn't my idea of a good time.
I don't have children for the same reason, I don't like small needy being unless they are feline.

Also now I just make noises when people moan about their self made issues. No practical help as I've done all that and when their problems are resolved they disappear.

My parents died 6 years ago and whilst I miss my dad every day, I rarely think about my mum have have not shed a tear over losing her.

Looking back we had to share a room at the worst possible time. She had started puberty and I was in a phase where I was obsessed with my big brothers and thought they were cool so I used to terrorise her to gain their approval. I think she kind of just snapped. MugMug was an innocent victim of the circumstances. She also found him creepy because he’s a clown.

Now she’s an adult we get on well and she hasn’t decapitated anyone.

Yeah I think I'll be the same

I agree. Breastfeeding took the work out of feeding my baby. Couldn't have been arsed with all the bottle stuff.

Also if you are out and about - instant supply and no worries about not having enough or being able to warm it up.
Not to mention the cost! People seem to have a lot of faff with finding the right style of bottles and the right formula.

Why buy a dog and bark yourself, as they say.

Spending way too much time on MN!

I don't feel guilty about anything - is that bad 😂

I feel guilty for lying to my DH that I lost loads of weight by cutting down, upping my steps and drinking more water - when actually it was Mounjaro.

Actually, should i feel guilty or dumbfounded that he actually believed it, when the wait literally fell off after years of trying

The best one is a soffrito (?) mix chopped frozen onion, carrot and celery (all bitches to chop) - brilliant base for any bolognaise, curry, soup - whatever - I just chuck bags of it in anything to up the plant points. If you also sling in a tin of chickpeas or lentils to any dish you are effectively a super-human.

My dad died 18 months ago. He married my stepmother when I was an adult and I have never liked her. Now he's gone, I have no intention of staying in touch, despite the fact that she has no family of her own because she is NC with her own children.

Dishwasher it. Also m and s peanut butter labels are easy to remove so you don't get the label clogging up the Dishwasher.

Again, that's not something to feel guilty about! She was in your life purely by accident, because your father was married to her. Now that reason for seeing her has gone, and you don't have to pretend to have a relationship so as not to hurt his feelings.

I do this too. I initially worried I might be judged but I’m such a convert I would no longer care if I was.

Having days where I do absolutely nothing. I’m at a stage where I can do that if I want, so I do.

Hoping a storm delays someone's flight and they get stuck abroad in their holiday for ages as this kid has been ostracising my child in the playground from her group of friends. child was looking forward to three days without the other kid in school

I take a pair of pruning snips when visiting parks, gardens and big stately homes so I can take cuttings for my own garden.

I don't feel guilty about upholding strong boundaries with a few abusive family members. My life is better now as a direct result of me unsaddling myself of the fear, obligation, guilt. They are adults, they should focus on sorting their own shit out. Not my problem.

I don't feel guilty about ignoring calls (except for school/medical stuff/etc). I just do not want to talk to the vast majority of people, and I don't care. I reply to texts when I can, it's not a summons lol.

I don't feel guilty about cutting off my ex when he is in mid-ramble with some boring bullshit. He's an "external processor" but I refuse to be his dumping ground for every random thought he has whenever I see him (we get on well enough for the kids, but I am free of having to listen to his monologue 😂 and I am VERY direct about cutting him off if he tries to start rambling). I'm not a repository for men to dump their thoughts on, never again. What freedom!

I bought a specific puppy so it would suit my lifestyle and kids. And it does. No guilt about not saving some problematic animal, it wouldn't have worked out anyway so why bother. My childhood home was blighted by aggressive/neurotic/just plain unstable and unsuitable rescue animals. That doesn't work for me, as an adult!

I also do not feel guilty about redirecting my kids to sort their own problems (within ages appropriate reason, obviously). It is doing the a huge disservice to save the day all the time. It's literally promoting anti-growth, to do that.

And. One more 😂 I am not seeing what you see, (two dear friends) when you rhapsodise about your DC. Of course they are great. Everyone's kids are fucking great 😂 now shut up and let go of the motherhood reins and just be, for an afternoon, please. I don't feel guilty about cutting down on seeing them until the sun and moon stops rising just to shine on their kids.