I really want to change my life

[mumskulll]

But not sure how.
I need ideas, inspiration from others how they did it. I feel like I need a life plan. Maybe a life coach?

I am the kind of person who loves to try new things and take up challenges, and I do, all the time, but somehow I’m still not fulfilled. Or I try something new, enjoy it, then stop and fall back into old habits.

For context, I’m in my 40s, have kids, a useless ex, a job I enjoy and lots of hobbies so don’t have a great deal of freedom but I’m open to planning for the future and making smaller changes now.

Thank you for your wisdom in advance.
By the way, this is not a New Year’s resolution type thing. I think about this a lot and it’s just coincidental. Anyone who wants to join me in making changes, please do!

I love this kind of thing! Well done for identifying you want a change.

I have questions!

What has triggered it? Is it a brand new feeling or something that’s been bubbling away for a while and has now surfaced?

change what exactly? It sounds like you have a gap/something missing from your life that you have been trying to fill with lots of new activities/hobbies but they haven’t really filled it satisfactorily for you. would you agree with that?

when you think of Jan 2027, what instantly is your gut feeling about what would be different about your life?

feel free not to answer any of these, I’m curious

Happy to answer.

This is not a new feeling at all. You could even say I’ve felt like this most of my life (that feeling that something is missing - which probably goes as far as childhood if that’s not too deep).
I’m always looking for more, for connection, for new experiences.

Anyway you are correct. I have a huge gap and perhaps it’s not about the hobbies or activities at all. I do tend to fill my life with “doing”, which is also pretty hard not to seeing as I’m bringing up kids alone.

In a year’s time, I would love to manifest the following: move house, or failing that, improve our current house to make it more suitable for us and have a relationship that’s not too full on. Just someone I can spend some time with and enjoy being in their company but not live with as that feels too big a step right now.

This is better than counselling!

There’s a lot there @mumskulll . I can almost feel the tumult of emotion coming from you.

it sounds to me like there a 2 distinct things here. 1 = identifying what the ‘missing/gap is’ and 2 - coming up with a plan to move house/improve house/ start a relationship.

which of them 1 or 2 do you want to focus on first?

Instead of going outside of yourself to feel fulfilled, why not try going inside yourself and letting go of the things that unfulfilled you. You say you try new things then don't follow through then go back into your old habits, perhaps it is time to discard the old habits first become authentically you.

My heart says the relationship but my head says the house. House and kids always take priority, of course. I’ve always put my needs last, not sure if that’s always a good thing.

This makes sense. Maybe I don’t need to learn a new skill or spend money on a course or new equipment for something.