Anyone else ruin Christmas because they were drunk?

[Newyearnewmewoooop]

Officially hit rock bottom. Ruined Christmas for
my children due to my behaviour when drunk. Full of self loathing and I have finally got to the point of realising that I can’t drink alcohol again.

Day 1 of being sober.

I’m sorry to hear that OP. Please be kind to yourself - at least you’ve admitted that you have a problem and are taking steps to address it.

You’ve acknowledged it and that’s the first start. We’ve all done things we regret its the moving on in the right way that counts

You’ve come to an important realisation and I hope it’s the start of better things for you. Get yourself in the ‘middle of the bed’ as we say in recovery, surround yourself with the groups, meetings, etc. Many times I thought I could do it alone, but that too is the illness talking. Get yourself a rock solid home group and take it a day at a time.

A brighter future awaits.

My dad died an alcoholic, I know what’s at stake. I just hate myself for ruining yet another special day for my children. We had friends round too and I can’t remember most of the evening but I’m terrified about how I behaved and who I offended with my behaviour. I literally hate myself

I’m taking the kids to the park in a bit and on a dog walk, but I just want to lie down and cry

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Many people drink a lot of Christmas Day. We started on champagne at about 1 and drank all day! Obviously drinking to the point you can’t remember stuff, is not good, but I’d wager you are being paranoid because of that.

Its great that you're taking accountability for it and acknowledging the effects on your children. My mother never did and Christmas after Christmas was ruined throughout my childhood due to her drinking. I grew up hating Christmas. I'm now 43 with children of my own and still get a knot in my stomach coming up to Christmas due to the anxiety it caused me as a child. You still have time to turn this around.
Please get whatever help and supprt you can to ensure that this never happens again. Best of luck x

You've acknowledged it's a problem and that's the first step so well done! The shame and embarrassment will wear off and that's when thoughts of 'just one drink is fine' will creep in again. Just be aware of that and get yourself some help and support as soon as you can. You can do this OP, good luck 💐

Really? Id hate to spend Xmas day with a load of drunks.
OP has said she ruined xmas with her drinking and you are saying it's ok! No it isnt ok.
OP make this the last time you drink.
I've been sober for 10 years now and never felt better. Think about joining AA for support. You dont have to be raging drunk everyday to join you just need to recognise that you have a problem with alcohol.

Have you had previous threads @Newyearnewmewoooop ?

Yes I have @ItsDarkNow

I have said before that I’m stopping but once the shame wears off I think it will be ok

I know it won’t be, I honestly know that I can’t drink socially, I can’t moderate.

Well done for recognising it.

I finally snapped one Christmas with my ex when he drank all night on Christmas Eve and didn’t get up all Christmas Day. It was our son’s first Christmas. I ended it with him before the following Christmas as I didn’t want my son growing up with those kinds of memories.

you can do this, because the hardest part is recognising you have a problem. Well done.

Don’t enable.

OP when you get to rock bottom there’s only one way to go. Treat your sobriety like a precious commodity and take care of it every day. Promise yourself that no Christmas will ever be like this one.

Good luck.

Matt Perry famously said in an interview about his alcoholism:

"I can control the first drink. So I choose to not have that first drink."

After the taste of alcohol touches his lips, he loses control of his actions. So in his words, he must never take that one drink because after that one, it becomes many and it was ruining his life.

Sit your family at the table. Tell them how you messed up and that from today, you are making reparations. You make a promise to them not to let even a single sip touch your lips. Pour any booze down the toilet in front of them. Hand over your debit cards so you can't be tempted to buy more. Show your family you're serious.

Also, book something to do as a family soon. Make it second Christmas.

Rebuild trust and get your self respect back.

You can do it. It's one thing to be honest on here, but you need to confess to the people you hurt.

Well done for admitting that you have a problem with alcohol OP, and that you need to stop.

You need support. If you don’t get any, the likelihood is that once this shame wears off, you’ll go back to drinking again.
I’m not saying you need AA or any specific group thing, but even it’s just the Alcohol forum here on Mumsnet, you need some support.

This was my first sober Xmas (I’m 6 months sober) and can hand on heart tell you that it was the best. No drink is as good as the feeling I get from being sober every day.

Well done OP. You’ve taken the first step. Now you’re at the start of a new chapter. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to make a change. I wish you strength and love and hope you can stop beating yourself up over yesterday. What’s done is done, you cannot change it. But you can control what comes next.

As the daughter of an alcoholic, Well done. Now stick with it, Your children will thank you.

Get all the support you can, I genuinely hope this is the start of a new, happy, healthy era for you and your children.

Yes, you need to never drink again. You need to remember exactly how this feels when you’re tempted again. You need to do this for your children.

To answer the question in your title (and I realise that's not the actual point of your thread but it might make you feel better).

Yes, me.

DH got me a really shit gift, think tacky costume jewellery I don't even wear, didn't even bother to wrap it, just handed it to me. I sucked it up for a few hours but about 10pm something flipped and I let rip. I stormed out of the house in my slippers and spent 2 hours shivering on a bench. I eventually came home and we didn't speak. Now we're both trying to pretend nothing happened.

Sorry, that doesn't help you OP but you are not alone.

I thought you are a previous poster @Newyearnewmewoooop
You know nothing has changed
You have to go to your gp and seek help. Posting on MN every time you hit another rock bottom is achieving nothing.

As someone who grew up with an alcoholic in the household, I can tell you dread and embarrassment it filled me with throughout every Christmas of my childhood, knowing the inevitable would happen and Christmas Day would be a disaster as the adult would get blind drunk and ruin everything. One year they turned up drunk to my school nativity. All my friends seemed to have wonderful Christmases, and I was a ball of dread.

please do not let your children grow up like this. Make contact with AA today, reach out for help but don’t sit on it and think you’ll be ok. Admitting the problem is the first step, actions speak volumes though.

You know what you HAVE to do op.

It starts today. Good luck, you can do this.

Please stick to it. Get in touch with AA today.

OP, is there something you could do that would make this day of reckoning different from others in the past?

For me, it was reaching out to my BIL, admitting to him (he went sober four years prior) about my alcohol addiction, and getting all alcohol out of the house within 30 minutes. This was my second Christmas sober.

After getting myself more than usually wasted, I always found it so (relatively) easy to do a first day sober. Hell, if I'd really tied it on, maybe even two! It, understandably, made my kids very cynical when I announced, yet again, that it was the very last time. Doing something different, making it harder to drink, and creating external accountability, made it harder for me to lapse, and easier for them to believe and support me.

Best of luck.

Hi OP,

You don’t say how much/frequently you’ve been drinking, but just popping up a link to some info on what to be aware of with alcohol withdrawal in case it’s needed

www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/health-effects-of-alcohol/general-health-effects/alcohol-withdrawal-symptoms

Thank you everyone. I have spoken with my husband and he agrees that this has to be the last time. I’m not making any massive announcements, I’m just going to get on with it with no excuses.

I can’t even explain how much I hate myself right now.

I don’t drink daily, so withdrawal isn’t an issue luckily.