Anyone else ruin Christmas because they were drunk?

[Newyearnewmewoooop]

Officially hit rock bottom. Ruined Christmas for
my children due to my behaviour when drunk. Full of self loathing and I have finally got to the point of realising that I can’t drink alcohol again.

Day 1 of being sober.

Well done OP, I’ve just read this thread. I’m strongly considering giving up drinking, I had a terrible problem with drugs in the past (several rehab stays/homelesness/crime, etc) and was completely abstinent from all substances and alcohol for nearly 4 years but started drinking again a few years ago and it’s kind of crept up on me (tale as old as time: swapping one problem substance with another). I too have a young child and, as a child myself, grew up around drunk adults (without wishing to blame anyone, I know through hundreds of hours of therapy that many of my issues as an adult stem from my early years) and, like you, my dad died from alcoholism. I don’t want my son exposed to unpredictable adults (me 😢) and, even though i didn’t get so drunk over xmas that I can’t remember anything, I still hate that awful next day ‘hangxiety’. Someone said upthread that the best buzz is being sober every day, which I 100% agree with - OP you must be feeling brilliant today to have got through last night without a drink, and so you bloody well should!
I did 12 step fellowship meetings for years and am going to get back to them, there are so many online now, I have no excuse!
I’m sending solidarity and strength to you OP and any one else out there who has had enough 💪

Great news op!

Well done for getting through last night!
Obv be honest with those close to you, but for everyone else (acquaintances, colleagues) you have a perfect excuse for not drinking for the next month — it’s dry January.

I had a new washing machine delivered and installed yesterday. I asked the guy if they were finishing early, he said he hoped so. I said he'd be able to get to the pub quicker. That's when he told me he'd quit drinking.

His Christmas day was spent with his wife's family. He apparently drank wine then a whole bottle of Jack Daniels. He couldn't remember getting home but was told that he upset a lot of people. Boxing day was spent in bed and throwing up. He said he's been apologising since and feels dreadful about it.

I really admired his openness and taking responsibility. He didn't blame drinking on having a bad day/week/year. He said he had no idea why he was such an idiot. Maybe he was so open because I was a complete stranger, who knows.

Anyway, I've been drinking AF Kopperberg. I asked him if he'd tried it, he said no, so I sent him off with a can for his NYE (Chinese with his wife at home that he was paying for!).

So, @Newyearnewmewoooop you certainly weren't alone! The difference is that you are changing your behaviour going forward like the delivery guy. A lot of people don't. Be proud of that!

Well done @Newyearnewmewoooop

@TerrysChocolateKumquatsending you a hug (if that’s ok) and well done for posting. Swapping addictions - so demoralising when you finally realise !!

Thank you! Day three no booze for me and I’m leaping out of bed in the mornings, loads of energy, it’s blooming marvellous 😍
OP, how are you doing?

Day 2 for me and trying to sleep last night was horrendous- took ages to fall asleep and then woke up countless times!

How’s it going op?

Get some headphones built into an eye mask.

Amazon example

Then listen to sleep meditations / music. I listen to Lights Out Library, Get Sleepy (both fact based so if I don’t fall asleep I’ve learnt something) and Sleep Magic (more meditation based).

My mum is an alcoholic. It has ruined her relationship with my Dad, all her children and all of her friends. My children haven't seen her in a couple of years because she won't have anyone over to their house, because drink. Their house stinks anyway, because she has pissed herself so many times and ruined the carpet and furniture. She doesn't wash. Their house is a tiny box because she pisses away their money like no one's business and they had to move out of their lovely home when she gave up work to drink. She won't admit it but I believe she has liver failure. She is anorexic. She has absolutely no life, no friends, and my Dad is now ill and she is having to care for him with no physical, mental or financial reserves. It is a horrible situation. She tried to give up drinking 10 or so years ago but by then it was too entrenched. I think if she had tried when we kids were you get she would have had more success, having more access to distractions and support.

Please, please get help, for the sake of all of your futures.

Well done. You are doing the most important thing you can for your children. Breaking the cycle now (your father died of alcoholism, you are making it now much much less likely that your children will). Get LOTS of support. Many people have conquered alcoholism, many have tried and failed and tried again, learn from them all. Big handhold. Huge well done on getting through NYE sober. Great sign.

@Newyearnewmewoooop well done for doing your first sober events! That's a huge positive step. Great that you're going to meetings - the outside support is absolutely crucial. Can't stress that enough. I have a couple of friends who are recovering from alcohol addiction and, sadly, a couple of friends who died young from it. My heart goes out to you.
It might also be worth speaking with an addiction counsellor, too?

Really struggling with cravings today, but still sober 😊

Amazing! Stay strong! Focus on how your last drinking session made you feel! That is the last time you will feel that shame.

You deserve sobriety, your family deserve it . You are strong. You are worth the fight.

Well done OP.

Well done for persevering. Have lots of nice drinks and nibbles ready to help with cravings. You've got this💪🏻

Keep going! You’re doing great.

@Newyearnewmewoooophow do you feel about alcohol free beer? I have had horrific cravings this weekend and a couple of 0% Heinekin have sorted me right out.

Also this is a really good group https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5447104-support-thread-for-anyone-trying-to-lead-an-alcohol-free-life-winter-25?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Well done OP, you are not alone.

Well done OP.

My drunk mother ruined yet another family event with her drinking so you are giving your family the greatest gift you can - your sobriety 👏 👏

You CAN do this - post here whenever you need - we are here to support you - It will get easier - 🙏

@Newyearnewmewoooop, how are you? Been thinking about you.

Still sober! Thank you for thinking of me 😊