Is it unfair to spend significantly less on SIL than DIL?

[Probsambeingunfairbutneedtobetoldiguess]

Not SIL and DIL, they are my children's partners but the title would have been ridiculous.

I could go into all the reasons, but it boils down to me loving son 1s girlfriend and her having a totally equal relationship with my son, and son 2s boyfriend being awful and my son carrying 95% of the weight of their relationship despite his partner bringing 95% of the stress into the relationship.

I made an advent calander for both of them and sons girlfriend thanked me for it, sons boyfriend didn't even acknowledge it, my birthday saw a thoughtful little gift and card from sons girlfriend, sons boyfriend didn't even send a text.

I did buy 2 small, thoughtful things I saw for sons boyfriend before I realised what a knob he is, and I really resent buying him more, but I've made up the usual stocking for sons girlfriend and spent a fair bit more.

I need to just suck it up, don't I?

I cannot describe how awful this man is, and he treats my son like shit. Plus he has a child and I'm 99% certain he stole the birthday money I gave to his child (I will still get the child a gift).

But do I need to make it equal between him and sons girlfriend?

They won't be opening gifts together at all.

God being the parent of adults is harder than I thought it would be.

You don't have to get him anything if you don't want to. Your son is entitled to choose this man if he wants, but you don't have to like him or pretend to.

I think if they were all coming round for Christmas and opening presents together then for the sake of son 2 I wouldn’t give her a set of really nice thoughtful gifts and him one small thing.
But if they’re opening them separately then I’d have no issue with it.