Caroline Flack - she was so let down

[Newyearnewmewoooop]

Just watched the documentary, it’s so sad. She was treated so awfully by the press and police.

I feel so bad for her mum and friends and family 😢

He probably hasn’t spoken because of
confidentiality

why didn’t she just plead guilty then - did she actually say she did it in her statement and plead guilty

he’s simply just got married

the text in question has been clarified here as apparently to a client of 60

she clonked him over the head with a phone while he was asleep - I’m sorry but I’ve only ever seen people do this (attack someone while asleep) on documentaries about domestic violence/murder - it’s really unhinged and out of control and very “how dare you, I’m gonna get you”

we can’t stop anyone killing themselves unless they reach out - even then you can only guide and recommend - it’s no one else’s responsibility

it all sounds a bit Blake and Amy to me but they were both conscious when bopping each other I think

I’m really sorry you seem so confused by the implications of your own opinions in your own posts. I hope you learn navigate things a bit better as you seem incredibly fragile and hostile to other opinions xxx

Despite the fact that I disagree with most of things you’ve written on this thread (particularly your comment proudly asserting that you would domestically abuse your partner if they cheated on you!) I do agree with much of this comment. Mental health services in this country are woeful. There is only so much shame a person can endure.

I think the key things are this though: CF didn’t seek help from mental health services. The documentary suggests that she was fearful of information being leaked so perhaps that’s why, but either way, she wasn’t really failed if she didn’t make attempts to access it. It’s hard enough to be taken seriously when you admit to being suicidal, let alone when you deny it.

Also, it wasn’t an argument between lovers. An argument would suggest that it was a two way thing. She whacked him on the head while he was asleep. She had to be restrained by the police on arrival for Lewis’ protection due to her ongoing behaviour towards him.

She did admit fault over and over, on the body cam footage and in her police interview but crucially she did not admit that it was intentional, and she decided to plead not guilty to her charges.

But she entered a plea of not guilty in court.

She was betrayed by her boyfriend sending inappropriate messages to another woman which appeared he was cheating on her.

So in her drunken state she snooped on her BF's phone and misunderstood the texts. The BF did betray her

She was also betrayed by her boyfriend who leaked the photo of the blood on the floor of the flat, either it was him who leaked it or his friend.

So did he leak it or not? you don't seem sure that he betrayed her.

At no point has he come forward to share his version of what happened.

If it had gone to court he would have, otherwise like all DV survivors he doesn't have to say a thing, especially with the vitriol of some of CF's supporters, why would he subject himself to the abuse?

Just shacked up with the next woman he could sponge off.

This is your opinion with no basis in fact. He was attacked and then moved on, is he not allowed to do that?

How is it a ‘completely natural response’ to blame the police for your daughter’s suicide when she wasn’t even in police custody at the time of her death and she was being prosecuted for a crime after the police were called to her address by someone who had said they were in fear of their life?

Were they supposed to ignore the 999 call and the incident because it was a TV presenter who was involved?

Not make any charges because she was a TV presenter?

The CPS who were the ones who actually decided to prosecute should have said ‘oh, we can’t prosecute because she presents Love Island’.

Utter madness!

Although I don’t think the police are responsible, Caroline’s mum has lost her daughter and is grieving. People who have gone through something so tragic often do look to blame others, and in that way, I think it is a completely natural response. That’s not the same as it being a valid response from an outsiders perspective of course, but you should be able to understand her mums reasons.

And people should be able to point out how wrong she is.

The CPS did say they should caution her. The police appealed the decision.

I think its very normal to try and find others to blame when someone dies unexpectedly. When my bf died by suicide I blamed the mental health services. I actually still do

Yes, but to say it’s not a completely natural response just shows they don’t know anything about grief and the coping mechanisms people often use for it.

@Greyrock2828 I have actually - ive had to do it a few times and they were taken into A&E then sectioned afterwards.

Are you saying that her friends were right to have been given the responsibility for preventing her killing herself? only to then be blamed by her mother when they weren't successful because I think that is absolutely appalling. Blaming people for things like this is exactly the kind of shame you are referring to with your point about the uni student. Its blame for someone taking their own life that could easily cause someone to spiral mentally.

I also think calling assaulting someone whilst they were asleep as one reckless thing is disgusting. It wasnt an argument either- she hit him in the head whilst he was asleep. You are minimising domestic abuse. I wonder if your partner hit you on the head so hard it left a mark whether you would call it just a silly "mistake".

At no point has he come forward to share his version of what happened. Just shacked up with the next woman he could sponge off.

Firstly, as the victim of abuse why does he need to share his side? so he can be attacked all over again by people like you?- yeah, I dont blame him for keeping things private.

Secondly, why isnt he allowed to date anyone else? they were together for 6 months FFS, it wasnt a serious relationship -they had been dating for 6 MONTHS which is barely anything. If I had been assaulted by my partner of 6 months you're damn right I'd be moving on and I wouldnt feel a jot of guilt about it after being hit in the head for the sake of a stupid text message from a 60 year old woman.

She was betrayed by her boyfriend sending inappropriate messages to another woman which appeared he was cheating on her. She was also betrayed by her boyfriend who leaked the photo of the blood on the floor of the flat, either it was him who leaked it or his friend.

All incorrect. The text messages on her boyfriends phone weren't cheating, they were from a 60 year old tennis coaching client he had.

Don't you have to accept a caution though? It's an agreement that you committed the offence - like pleading guilty.

I understand that the dire state of MH services is a problem for many people.

However CF was in a privileged position as a wealthy TV personality - she could have sought private MH help. I think the Priory offers private crisis treatment.

It seems that many decisions were driven by PR perspectives rather than CF's best interests. It seems odd that getting MH treatment was considered a worse option than a public trial.

Yes it’s pretty standard and not frowned upon to go to priory or similar

plus drs are bound by confidentiality - you don’t
hear them exposing high profile people’s health status

I’ve worked with people who have done absolutely appalling things that would make your milk curdle, Never once have I known the police appeal the decision

However CF was in a privileged position as a wealthy TV personality - she could have sought private MH help. I think the Priory offers private crisis treatment

Yes, this is a good point, she could have gone to the Priory at any time and they would not have been able to tell anyone due to patient confidentiality. Besides, many celebrities have been to the Priory and are still working now- in fact, many celebs who have been open about their mental health struggles have had tons of public support. She had access to far more private MH resources than the rest of us do in fact!

From personal experience I have a family friend whose son took his own life whilst at university. Why did he do it? Because he had slept with a girl at his uni and made a joke about it to his friends on a private social media chat. That private chat was shared across the whole school and he was given a suspension at uni and vilified by his peers. He was so worried he would be kicked out of uni, and that fear compounded with the loss of friends led him to think he was better off dead. It's horrifying

You talk about shame and how we are all human and how shame can destroy people/cost them their lives and yet you yourself are shaming a domestic abuse victim for starting a new relationship, getting married and starting a family with someone else.

You are doing exactly the same thing that you are saying is wrong and could cause people to harm themselves. Why is ok for CF to physically abuse him but it's not ok for him to get married to someone else or have children?

@colapepsi again if you haven't experienced someone in the midst of a severe mental health crisis or have first hand experience of trying to admit someone into a psychiatric facility you're not best placed to judge or speculate. When my relative went through their mental health crisis we felt like we weren't getting anywhere with the NHS and rang around various private clinics in desperation. The biggest obstacle at the time was that they all had massive waiting lists - min 2/3 months wait, some 6 months. And the cost was crazy, like 7k per week. Also said relative was in no position to advocate for themselves and could not even function at a very basic level. Despite CF being wealthier than most she still lived in a modest flat and I think for alot of people even if you could get a place at a facility, 7k per week is alot of money. The thing with a mental health crisis is sometimes it takes time for people to realise the severity of it and then often it can be too late. With my relative we had alot of family members that tried to brush it off, minimise it - "oh you'll be fine, it's not the end of the world" but in the moment that person is not able to think rationally. There's no obvious pathway to treatment for someone suffering like that, it's all trial and error, trying different medication and therapy and it takes time. Unfortunately for CF there was no intervention when there needed to be. Wealthy or not it's very had to access treatment NHS or private. My relative eneded up in a facility abroad and came out with a 10k bill but alive and on the road to recovery.

@popcorncake where have I shamed him? I haven't shamed him at all, never met the guy, no idea what he's like. He can do what he likes for all I care - good for him for moving on and getting married. I haven't mentioned anything about him getting married or having a family, why on earth would I have an issue with that.

I think from the media reporting it didn't sound like he was squeaky clean himself and I'd question his character but that's my personal opinion based on what I've seen and read. There's no malice in it, I just don't think he sounds like a very nice man.

I think the person who smashed a phone into his head while he was asleep because she misread some text messages sounds less “nice”.

She was violent and presumably bullied her boyfriend. I don't like bullies thus I did not like her. It was all her own doing so I really have no sympathy. I often say the way for stars to redeem themselves is to get involved with a charity. It shows she was unhinged by thinking taking her own life was the answer.

@Greyrock2828 you said:

She was betrayed by her boyfriend sending inappropriate messages to another woman which appeared he was cheating on her. She was also betrayed by her boyfriend who leaked the photo of the blood on the floor of the flat, either it was him who leaked it or his friend
At no point has he come forward to share his version of what happened. Just shacked up with the next woman he could sponge off

You said he was cheating on her - he wasnt. The messages CF got furious about were from a tennis client and not cheating. In her unstable state she completely misinterpreted those texts

You said CF was betrayed by him leaking the photos - zero evidence of this. In fact, he has never once said anything remotely negative about CF despite her assaulting him.

You said he has shacked up with a woman he is "sponging" off- what, you mean his WIFE that he now has children with? so, you know what their financial situation is then I presume and have seen their bank accounts? 🙄

You are calling out spreading lies about people but seem perfectly happy to do it to others yourself which to me, is the very definition of hypocrisy 🤷‍♀️

This!

thank you