Wealthy CF who never pay their share

[Whatarethese1]

DH has a friend who earns a lot (six figures), boasts about his salary and savings. Yet never pays his share. I have bought concert tickets and not been paid back. DH has rented sports equipment (expensive, glider) and not paid hundreds by CF. Shared food on holiday. Meals out. We have learnt our lesson. But why are some people like this?

Typo in title. Can’t edit it.

They think you are wealthy too.

What happens when you ask for the money?

Nowhere near their disposable income and that will be obvious to them. Why oh why do they think it is fine that we pay for them. Male, 40s.

Have you or DH ever chased them about what they owe after the event?

Drop them if they are taking the piss. Get your money back first by asking directly.

Yes @ChilliMochaCoco Not hard though as it is so awkward. Made it clear to DH we will not do anything with them that involves costs as we always get landed with the payments.

I went for a meal with a group from work. The doctor on £400k a year just doesn’t have any concept that the PAs earning 30k had water and the cheapest pizza instead of the doctor’s multiple courses and cocktails and so didn’t want to “make it simple by splitting the bill”. She genuinely seemed unable to comprehend.

@MidnightPatrol Vague promise then nothing.

If they're that rich, they probably think that as these costs are minor to them, then it will be to you as well.
But ... Lesson learned, as you say.

Drop them.

I live in a popular tourist area so have more than my share of stories about CFs taking the piss. They never learn and you ALWAYS end up being shitted on.

There's a thread currently running on the cheapest thing someone has ever done. I can't link it, but some are CFs to the extreme, others downright cruel. It makes for interesting reading.

Some people are tight because they’re skint, some are tight because they hate spending money and having more money doesn’t cure this, but it does make it stand out more.

It's one thing being tight, but exploiting and gaining from others without their consent is morally reprehensible.

They do know they aren't paying but feign ignorance. Either don't pay or tell them clearly you are expecting to be paid back. Dancing around the topic and complaining behind closed doors isn't going to solve the issue. Just ask when are you paying? Vague promises are what they are fobbing you off with and laughing behind your back

This 💯
if you don’t ask you don’t get.
Why could / would you possibly want to stay friends with them so nothing to lose pointing out what they owe you.

You don't get wealthy by spending all your money on others!

(I'm being facetious, of course).

We did and it was really clear. I am no longer friends with them. DH is but is now careful.

CF goes on about saving money being their ‘sport’. Fine to be frugal but ripping off others is grim.

They are a CF in other ways, including exploiting loopholes/outright lying to get a leg up with school placement.

He won't change, people like him never do. Just tell your DH that he's not to agree to anything like concerts/activities where you pay up front, anything where you need prepaid tickets is a no no

They do it because they aren’t stopped.

They may will continue, but they will lose friends and end up alone

I know someone like this. I would say it’s deep insecurity. Money makes them feel safe so they hang on to it and people paying for them make them feel loved. They are terrified that people only care about them because they have money so this is a test.

Their insecurities prevent them from thinking about how their behaviour must feel to others. And they have money so it doesn’t feel like a big deal to them.

They won’t change. And they will lose friends.