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Ds struggling with staff member.

17 replies

Poppopandpopagain · 31/07/2025 00:33

Ds is in accommodation for young adults. I think it supports people with mental health struggles.

Ds does not sleep well. he can sometimes be awake for a full 48hrs or sleep for a few hours or he could have a normal sleep. And other times if its been a bad pattern of being awake he will then sleep for a long time.

So ds was meant to sign his tenancy at 10am the day after he viewed. But because of his sleep issues he over slept. I know that's not good and it should not have happend. As soon as ds woke up he called and apologised. And the staff member started shouting at him. In the end he hung up and called the manager and things got smoothed over and he went the next day to sign the tenancy and the staff member was making little jokes so ds felt better and thought things would be ok.

I should have added that after ds had put the phone down at the time of her shouting. She called ds back and it went to his voice mail . There was talking on there saying things about selling a house how much it was worth and making money and an income. Also when ds was signing paper work she kept giving him stuff meant for her not for him and he had to keep passing it back saying that's yours. This one is mine.

So the first night he went to stay there made himself comfy in bed . Felt a bit itchy. Brushed his arm and there are bedbugs. He was getting butten . He showed me oics of the bug and bites and hives he was getting.

We had bedbugs several years ago when we were in temporary accommodation. Ds was badly effected by them and his lip swelled up really badly. If it had been in his mouth it could have been a different story. So he didn't stay and went to his girlfriends house.

He sent pictures and an email to the manager. Explained the issue and why he couldn't stay there she was really nice. Told him not to go back there for now and to stay at his girlfriends until its sorted. She did add it was a new mattress its not though you can tell its not.

A bit later the staff member calls him. He called back a few min later. No answer. So he tried a couple of times. She then sent him a what's app saying xxx I have been trying to contact you. He replied to it saying he has been trying to return her call. She then send him another message having a go at him saying that hes not communicating and it's in his agreement that he must communicate.

She then told him that there were no bed bugs in the room and that she needs to discuss this with him . That he must have brang them with him and she wants to see the so called hives and bed bugs bites she told him he must be staying at the accommodation.

She said he brang them in with him. Which is not true otherwise he would have been bitten at his girlfriends and had the hives. He didn't have any bites until he tried to stay at the accommodation.

Ds called the manager again who was not in but the assistant manager said to ignore the staff member.

Ds feels like hes walking on egg shells and its making him feel panicked.

OP posts:
StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 31/07/2025 05:34

Is the grumpy one assigned to him like a key worker? Could he ask the manager to switch to another key worker?

I tell my clients very firmly to leave a message if I don't answer. I don't return calls with no message - I simply don't have the time.

Mangotangoisshit · 31/07/2025 09:30

Is he signing a tenancy for another place or was it for this place?

Poppopandpopagain · 31/07/2025 10:24

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 31/07/2025 05:34

Is the grumpy one assigned to him like a key worker? Could he ask the manager to switch to another key worker?

I tell my clients very firmly to leave a message if I don't answer. I don't return calls with no message - I simply don't have the time.

Im not sure if he can ask for a different one.

Regarding calls its her keep contacting him via calls and messages. He then tries to return the calls and messages. And then she calls/messages him aftet hes tried to return thr calls/messages and has a go at him as if he's not tried to contact her back.

OP posts:
Poppopandpopagain · 31/07/2025 10:30

Another thing I forgot to add to my op is she told him there can't be bedbugs because the mattress has a plastic covering on top and bottom. As in a protector to protect from spillages etc.

OP posts:
Poppopandpopagain · 31/07/2025 10:31

Mangotangoisshit · 31/07/2025 09:30

Is he signing a tenancy for another place or was it for this place?

Its for this place

OP posts:
Lemniscate8 · 31/07/2025 10:31

How could he have bedbugs there, but not at his girlfriends? Surely they would have gone with him? Unless he burnt all his clothes and travelled naked? if he doesn't have them now it isn't likely he had them then, I dont think?

Poppopandpopagain · 31/07/2025 10:37

Lemniscate8 · 31/07/2025 10:31

How could he have bedbugs there, but not at his girlfriends? Surely they would have gone with him? Unless he burnt all his clothes and travelled naked? if he doesn't have them now it isn't likely he had them then, I dont think?

He was staying at his girlfriends friends house no bugs no bites . He then went to his accommodation for the first time to sleep there . Before he even went to sleep he was getting bitten and found bugs in the bed.

When he travelled back to his girl friend that same nigjt yes he wore clothes. But he striped pf on the porch amd binned his clothes.

There were definitely no bugs at his girl friends other wise he would have been bitten before going to the new accommodation.

Edit to say hes not been bitten fir the past couple of nights since he went back to his girl friend.

OP posts:
Lemniscate8 · 31/07/2025 10:38

Poppopandpopagain · 31/07/2025 10:37

He was staying at his girlfriends friends house no bugs no bites . He then went to his accommodation for the first time to sleep there . Before he even went to sleep he was getting bitten and found bugs in the bed.

When he travelled back to his girl friend that same nigjt yes he wore clothes. But he striped pf on the porch amd binned his clothes.

There were definitely no bugs at his girl friends other wise he would have been bitten before going to the new accommodation.

Edit to say hes not been bitten fir the past couple of nights since he went back to his girl friend.

Edited

ok, so he did travel naked! That makes sense

Poppopandpopagain · 31/07/2025 10:40

Lemniscate8 · 31/07/2025 10:38

ok, so he did travel naked! That makes sense

Where did you read that 😅

OP posts:
Mangotangoisshit · 31/07/2025 10:48

Are you sure they are bed bugs. If the mattress was covered it seems unlikely.

Poppopandpopagain · 31/07/2025 10:57

Mangotangoisshit · 31/07/2025 10:48

Are you sure they are bed bugs. If the mattress was covered it seems unlikely.

Its only covered top and bottom not the sides also bedbugs can be in the frame and surrounding areas. And mattrss seems. There was even one on the window sill/ledge 100% its bed bug.

OP posts:
Mangotangoisshit · 31/07/2025 11:10

Poppopandpopagain · 31/07/2025 10:57

Its only covered top and bottom not the sides also bedbugs can be in the frame and surrounding areas. And mattrss seems. There was even one on the window sill/ledge 100% its bed bug.

So where is he at with it now. Has he got photos to show them, caught any on sellotape to prove it?

Poppopandpopagain · 31/07/2025 11:39

Mangotangoisshit · 31/07/2025 11:10

So where is he at with it now. Has he got photos to show them, caught any on sellotape to prove it?

Hes sent pictures to them via email. The manager told him not to go there until its all been treated.

OP posts:
Mangotangoisshit · 31/07/2025 11:46

Poppopandpopagain · 31/07/2025 11:39

Hes sent pictures to them via email. The manager told him not to go there until its all been treated.

So it's been sorted out then?

Poppopandpopagain · 31/07/2025 12:07

Mangotangoisshit · 31/07/2025 11:46

So it's been sorted out then?

No its being sorted out depends when they get someone in.

But its not just the bed bugs. Obviously that can get sorted. Its the communication. Where the staff member is shouting at him. Accusing him of not communicating saying its in his agreement. Even though hes tried to return calls several times and messages. Its strange because he has proof of the calls and messages. So it doesn't really make sense.

OP posts:
Mangotangoisshit · 31/07/2025 12:37

Poppopandpopagain · 31/07/2025 12:07

No its being sorted out depends when they get someone in.

But its not just the bed bugs. Obviously that can get sorted. Its the communication. Where the staff member is shouting at him. Accusing him of not communicating saying its in his agreement. Even though hes tried to return calls several times and messages. Its strange because he has proof of the calls and messages. So it doesn't really make sense.

No it doesn't make sense, but he's in supported accommodation and hes 18, maybe you need to let him deal with this. Perhaps you're not getting the full story from him.

CheekyCherryColaCandy · 31/07/2025 12:38

Baffled that you don't seem to know what the set up is given it's your own son

Clearly this is something you need to contact the housing with and discuss. Nothing really anyone on MN can help with.

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