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What is this behavior, what does it try to achieve, and WHY.

16 replies

DreamingOfASilentNight · 21/12/2024 22:51

Friends have suddenly announced their separation, or rather she had, as he's had an affair and run off to spend time with the new woman or stay with his mum's the rest if the time.

Splits happen, I get that, it's the other thing here that has happened that I am baffled by.
The man's children weren't aware that Dad had a new woman ( and was starting with her as her told them untruths he had not seen them. The mother was trying to work out what was going on and only accurate information.
Next thing the new girlfriend is posting photographs of her with this man on her business and social media accounts showing they are clearly a couple celebrating. She tagged wife and children.
That's how the children found out... What kind of lunatic does this? It's inconsiderate, selfish and hurtful especially to someone's children. Is she trying to ensure she is hated by then so never will have to see them,, is it some kind of intended dig at the mother( wife,) is so she's bragging about having a man she can trust a Mile given how they meet. This is hardly a boast
I can't work out the why. It seems entirely childlike, but we're looking at a mid 40s woman with her own business. I'm assuming if she's capable and intelligent what she had done was just to be nasty?

Regardless. It's left several very mentally injured people.what an awful nasty thing to do . I'm sure she's planning a great Christmas though.

I'm just wondering if others think this is as nasty or odd as I do?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 21/12/2024 23:43

Clearly the ex husband and his girlfriend richly deserve each other. What a shitty pair.

Hope the wife and children get through this.

DreamingOfASilentNight · 22/12/2024 09:24

Exactly,. Just wondering what on earth kind of point she's trying to make. It's clearly devastated their children.
You are all kinds of breakups but I can't understand what she's trying to do other than be completely mean.

OP posts:
Trallia · 22/12/2024 09:27

It's like a dog pissing on its territory.

Imagine you've been trying to get him to leave his wife for ages. I'll do it one day, he keeps saying. But never does. Eventually there's a chink in the armour - his wife has found out! There is finally talk of "separation". You want to male sure this is completely and totally permanent. You finally got your bloke all to yourself.

You make sure to trash their Christmas, and that there is no way back, and that everyone knows about it.

She doesn't sound like a very nice person, but..
I can understand her ruthless motivation!

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BlackeyedSusan · 22/12/2024 09:39

I sort of understand a possible motivation:
She wants him and is pleased that he has finally chose her... it's "I've won," smug maybe.

I imagine the bloke has been dehumanising the wife and kids as objects in the way of being with her. They are all her rivals.

YouMeandBrie · 22/12/2024 09:41

She tagged his family in a post? Unhinged. Was she expecting them to like the picture and leave a nice comment?!

username299 · 22/12/2024 09:44

Some people are very self absorbed. She obviously doesn't think about anyone else's feelings and wants to hammer home her new relationship.

unsync · 22/12/2024 13:47

She's marking her territory. Probably a bit insecure too. It's a bit like saying stuff out loud to make it real. Everyone else is collateral damage.

Fistle · 22/12/2024 13:49

It’s the same kind of insane territorialism that apparently drives Mners to try to make their boyfriends retire their female friendships, or limit time with their mothers.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 22/12/2024 14:07

This is her screaming loud and clear, he's mine. Sounds like the sort who would happily trash his relationship with his kids to have him all to himself. Don't get me wrong he's still got the lions share of the blaim for this, but she's certainly partly to blame for all of it.

JetskiSkyJumper · 22/12/2024 14:13

Wow. I've no idea but I don't think it will achieve whatever she hopes it will.

LadyMargaretPoledancer · 22/12/2024 14:17

What she does is irrelevant. It's what their FATHER does that is entirely relevant.

He had the affair.

If he condones this behaviour then he's a complete shit bag.

This situation is all on him.

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 22/12/2024 15:35

How the father handles this with his children will determine their future relationship from now on. If they have one that is.

If he's hooked up with this nutcase who thinks she's won a prize (😂) and who doesn't care about hurting his dcs, then I can't imagine the dcs will want to spend any time around her.

Why are people just so awful?

Theunamedcat · 22/12/2024 15:42

Ex husbands new wife posted "publicly" on Facebook about their wedding knowing dam well his children (11/15) were neither invited nor informed dad was getting married everything else on her profile is private 🙄 it's malicious and yet they are shocked 😲 that ds doesn't want a thing to do with them

usernother · 22/12/2024 16:34

Spiteful and marks her as being a lunatic. Hopefully your friend's ex has the relationship he deserves with her.

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 22/12/2024 16:52

Yep- she’s not the full ticket and the ex is in for the ride of his life (and not in a good way). Let this one play out. He’s going to get the excitement he was craving and “be careful what you wish for” comes to mind.

DreamingOfASilentNight · 24/12/2024 15:16

YouMeandBrie · 22/12/2024 09:41

She tagged his family in a post? Unhinged. Was she expecting them to like the picture and leave a nice comment?!

Obviously extremely selfish, she seems to have many delighted friends commenting, very sadly three devastated children, obviously his children don't figure in the same way as her' friends'.

Well, she knows how she got him and will never be able to trust him fully and if his behaviour towards his children is anything to go by she's incredibly stupid to want someone like that.

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